I've been dealing with this a bit after I was asked to join this site. I simply don't allow myself to be charge more then everyone else. So, I just try to meet women and couples on the site. I feel it's the Male partner and the Male assholes who fuck it up for single males. So, it's just income that they can't have. LOL
DTH
You just might be on to something!
Maybe feeling sorry for himself and getting berated in a public forum is his foreplay.
Maybe he should join FET - Let the floggings begin
And he promised he would leave SLS just months ago.. but he is back for more flogging!
Eeyore (OH2NY2NC2022)
Woe is me.........
You are what you eat, if pity is what you seek you are in the wrong neighborhood. No one likes a pessimistic person. Change your attitude!
I know you’re jealous of those women. It’s not fair they get to play with all those cocks and you don’t.
Tyler, what OH2BBCINMYBUTT is trying to say is, if you are a black guy then you are more than welcome to come down to North Carolina and pound his tender ass.
As a single male you have to bring the party to the party. You have to make people feel like they will have a good time when you are around. If they say no just keep it moving because eventually you will find someone who want to experience your party!
InJustRight69
For the same reason I don't post peoples information on bathroom walls.
I mentioned this before in a different thread, but a little "outside the box" thinking could elevate SM demand to a level perhaps on par with even SFs. Something that IS in more demand is a "group" of guys. We've run across a fair number of women in our travels that enjoy multiple men and would be more interested in a group of guys that can work well together to please her versus just an SM alone.
Many guys just cannot perform around other guys, so if you're one that can and you don't mind being 1 of X guys focused on pleasing a woman, being part of a group like that could get all of you more action than you could get individually. Also, if you perform well, it does offer more opportunity to network and perhaps get invited to parties.
It also gives you the option of sharing costs by splitting the cost of a hotel room. I can see couples being leary about inviting a bunch of strange guys into their home, but if the play is at a hotel, none of them will know where you live.
What one could do is have a profile that has pictures of the guys in the group with an obvious profile name (i.e. GroupOfGuys), and anyone can have their own SLS group page to advertise and help with scheduling and such. Even though this option exists, I seldom if ever come across a group profile like this. It is a but of work, but if I ever found myself single, it's definitely something I'd be looking to do. You may need at least one couple to help you because I can see SMs blocking other SMs.
Of course you'd have to find guys where their true motivation is to please a women vs more selfish needs. Perhaps SMs trying to start such a group would get a first hand look at what couples have to deal with when trying to find a good guy ;-)
@Tyler
"You can play victim or just keep it moving"
The best advice yet on this site for single men.
Whether it is on this site, in a bar, a casino or wherever you may be. Being single (male or female) has it's own set of challenges. The same holds true for those that are married and in the lifestyle. Communication. respect, and attitude all play their roles in how we approach people be it in the lifestyle, or in a vanilla setting. Rejection will happen, it is only a matter of time. Moving beyond the rejection instead of letting it rule you, as Tyler mentions is the key to a successful life in and out of this lifestyle.
I am of the mindset that you have to make yourself presentable, desirable in such a way that your body language or in the case of SLS your profile, let's people know you are approachable. Negativity and the pity party approach send off such negative vibes that people walk right on by both in public and online.
Since your profile is the first source of interaction with people on this site your profile should be a reflection of who you are. If you are not getting looks, not getting birds, you may want to look at you being the issue and not those who fail to reach out to you. Look over your profile, do you present yourself as someone who is approachable, someone a single person or married couple would feel compelled to reach out to you?
Fellas, this site is no different than any online dating site. Women have all the options while us single men are expendable. I’m sure that every guy on here has faced a good bit of rejection and has likely been asked to jump thru hoops by a couple or a SW with an inflated sense of sex appeal. It’s just a reality you have to accept. You can play victim or just keep it moving, it’s really that simple. Taking myself for example, my ethnicity is not in high demand here and that’s OK - everyone is entitled to their preferences. I don’t take it personally at all. I do my best to respectfully engage everyone that messages me and have had some amazing experiences as a result. Best of luck out there my dudes.
Why not just supply the name of the group here, DB?
Since Blues Clues bailed right after his last post over 100 days ago, I will address InJustRight69, who seems to be still monitoring the thread.
I can only ECHO-ECho-Echo-echo those that have mentioned not relying on swinger websites for making contacts, or judging success by how many contacts you have made on said sites.
Do you realize that there is a Single Male friendly group that might even be within walking distance of you who puts on monthly events? If ever there was a no-brainer, going to one of their events is it. If you need the name or contact info, PM me and I will gladly provide the goods.
The last guy I practically hand-held directing him to a local group was NCwhiner, whose main goals were self-pity and arguing with common sense. I hope you are not of the same caliber, and and appreciate the tip for what it is.
"But how about an option for couples to block single females from even seeing their profiles?"
Tools > edit profile > preferences > scroll to "Who are you looking for?" There you can block men, women and couples.
Many couples are only looking for other couples. Therefore they have both men and women blocked.
Not sure I understand your question... There is an option to block single women; it's just not utilized much.
"Why should someone get to pick and choose from us as if we are part of a meat market?”
I hate to say it, but this is kind of what this site is. We as a couple are perfectly fine and happy with each other and have long since figured out this is all just recreational sex. We are picking people to enhance OUR sex lives as a couple.
People view others here to pick/choose what works for them. It wouldn't surprise me if a large # of those didn't even consider the feelings of others in their choices. The epitome of that is NSA sex, but more often than not, each is doing the same and using each other. It's just the way it is.
“ it's well past time single males had the option of blocking those who don't want to be seen by single males. Why should someone get to pick and choose from us as if we are part of a meat market?”
A large percentage of couples who are open to single men will block single men because otherwise they get inundated with annoying messages. When those couples are ready to play they will seek out guys that interest them.
I don't suppose it really matters why I'm on the site to have something valid to say but it has been a disappointing experience. Granted I'm not in an overly populated area. But for all who have observed that some men ruin it for others I think it's incumbent upon anyone to take people individually. Simply because you had a bad experience with person X doesn't mean person Y is cut from the same cloth. I have been as friendly and open as possible in approaching people and have even appended a picture even when the recipient doesn’t have one, so I am putting myself out there. The vast majority of the time I get no response. It would at least be courteous then to block someone that you have no intention of ever talking to.
I find myself wishing that every part of a married couple would find themselves alone for a while, considered too old, and not beautiful/handsome enough. Sex may not be everything in life but it's far from nothing.
And it's well past time single males had the option of blocking those who don't want to be seen by single males. Why should someone get to pick and choose from us as if we are part of a meat market?
OverEd - I've been saying for a while that one of the bigger values that SLS offers is just in being able to find local LS parties/events. We don't really have "clubs" in NH.
If you do have local clubs, you could just find those online via Google search. Having been to some clubs/organized LS events and house/hotel room parties, we much prefer the lattter just simply because the latter gives us the best bang for the buck, but it really depends on what someone is looking for. Some only go to a club/event to meet potential playmates to play with elsewhere.
Some people are just not lucky on online platforms (yours truly included). So, try going to a club. It's ridiculous how much different things can be in a non-online setting.
For us, the contrast is so absurd that we are at the point where we pretty much just come online to bitch about how useless online is.
Lisa, I can say that being in this lifestyle as a married man and now as a single male, my perspective and approach is entirely different from most, not all single men. I will say the following hoping it will help those struggling single males. I do not make it a point to ask for people to open their pictures, believing that is their choice not mine. I clearly define my galleries so their is no accidental.dick pics that someone will be offended by. I include pictures that I have shot as a hobby so people get a sense of me other than from a sexual capacity. Lastly be respectful when you contact people on this site and put together a common sense approach that will peak someone’s interest rather than them dismiss you . While this is a sex site (often a response from single males) it is upon you to be respectful, anything short of that and you got what is coming to you!!!
When we decided to come back to this site to meet SMs . It was the vanilla world guys could not detach them self's from love and sex . So what happens when we get here , the same thing almost every guy we have talked to except 2 have either been married or trying to talk to her only thinking she's there for them only . And the dick pics Damn!!! how many can you get in a week . I get it not many will ever understand what its all about . We will keep trying ,to some of this forum advise rubs off , will be awhile since I have seen none in our area ever on here...
Classy is spot on. I have been in this lifestyle first as a married couple and now as a single male. All too often single men come onto this site and other Swinger sites with the expectation that it is a meat market and the women and couples are there for the taking. That notion is so far removed from the reality of the lifestyle.
I Set my profile up to show somewhat of my character as a person and not just as a sex object. I will admit that I am very selective and for that reason this is not about quantity, it is about quality. I have been fortunate to find lasting relationships with a few couples and a few single women in this lifestyle. I am, and never will be a notch on a bedpost person, not my style.....
My approach from day one in this lifestyle has always been about respect and honesty, anything less just doesn't work. When I look for a couple I am mindful that I am entering into their lives to enhance their life be it vanilla or sexually as much as they are doing the same with me. It is called mutual respect. I am very private, don't share who I have been or not been with, and I don't take it personal when say, a couple or a female I am interested in are not interested in me.... hell we all have different likes, wants and needs, and once again the key word here is respecting the fact that because you are interested in someone does not mean they have to be interested in you...... bottom line RESPECT and HONESTY speak volumes in this lifestyle.
Male of a couple here.
Classy has some good thoughts.
I would add another. Networking.
We enjoy MFM play.
I am not at all bashful about recommending a trusted third to others.
