Confused in Pittsburgh

We would echo pretty much everyone on this thread. We plot our own course in our lifestyle journey. If someone outside of our core relationship is trying to control our path, then it’s a big red flag. If she’s developed a romantic attachment beyond the normal, that is going to be a problem, not only for you but for the two of them.

They need to step back from the lifestyle and examine their relationship and where they want to take it. If we were in your shoes, we would not play with them any longer. It feels harsh but the longer you stay in, the more damage is going to be done.

Whether you believe her or not - and you should listen to that skeptical part of yourself, because gut instinct is generally reliable - the notion that she plays with you and her husband but can't bear to have you even talk to another woman should be a sufficiently large red flag to have you running away without the need for any additional evidence.

I wasn't kidding about understanding possessiveness and territoriality from the inside. I also have been where you've been (not for long, because my survival instincts are ultimately good even if some of my ex-girlfriends would make Harley Quinn look like a paragon of mental health). And I've seen it over and over again. You do you, boo, but underneath whatever shiny surface has you enthralled is a metric shit ton of crazy and running far, far away is the only way to fix this.

It doesn't matter who she plays with - it's the fact that she doesn't want you playing with anyone else that is cause for concern.

You better run so fast you leave skid marks.

Nothing but drama and trouble ahead if you stick around.

We had a heart to heart and she said she only plays with her hubby and me. I dont buy that, why go to a swing club? And dress to kill?

Another vote for run far and fast.

And hope she doesn't resort to ugly, messy drama when you do.

OP we have had similar experiences with a female half of a couple and we dropped them immediately.. Between the text, phone calls, and constant questions on ones whereabouts who we were seeing , etc, etc this person had NO business swinging..

We are here for FUN we do NOT treat each other at all as she did to one of us.. and that person needs some serious help from a professional..

Run do not walk from this relationship as she will make your life miserable as a swinger or even a girlfriend.

I am super territorial in some ways, which can be uncomfortable for me sometimes, especially since I mostly prefer married playmates. That's the background for what I'm going to say now: Run. Run far, run fast, do not look back. Anyone whose possessiveness and territoriality is so lacking in proportion or self control is just a disaster in waiting.

Run away. Now. You're not confused. She is. Don't give her any more of your time. That double standard bullshit is BULLSHIT.

Hard to comment without making a judgement call, but she does sound selfish, at least to me. This is regardless of whatever reasons she has for her behavior.

I have known this utterly gorgeous woman for about two years. She is married, and in the lifestyle. Both her and her husband are active in the lifestyle, attend local clubs, and also go out/date separately. We are totally compatible on both a physical and intellectual level. We flat out rock each other’s world sexually. Never have I experienced such intensity, and passion. I have also unlocked the secret of providing her with multiple killer orgasms, which is total heaven. Over the past 9 months or so, our relationship blossomed to very strong feelings for one another. Granted that we both understand our place in life and will not pursue any changes.
My confusion or dilemma lies in her possessiveness. She does not want me playing, let alone talking with any other lifestyle gals. Not sure I fully grasp this. Like I said she attends clubs with her husband and is active in the local community. If I do look, interact, etc., she accuses me of being a player. She is fragile, and I care deeply for her, so I have essentially stopped interacting, particularly in her/our local area.
Is this type of situation uncommon? Should I feel used?
Confused in Pittsburgh