We wear our age like a badge of honor. We work hard to stay in shape and look our best so we believe in truth in advertising. Also, like some others we update our pictures very frequently. There will likely never be pictures older than 6 months in our profile so what you see is what you’ll get.
We saw the misrepresentations about age the most when we first joined SLS. It felt like they were preying on someone they perceived as new, or eager, almost as if they hoped the excitement of possibly playing would overcome the blatant deception. I can't for the life of me understand why, particulary with us...I'm 55 and Mrs. C is 45. Our weights are accurate, as much as I wish mine was about 20 lbs less.
I sincerely believe it's a bit less malicious than intentional deception, though. I think it's more insecurity about their current desirability, maybe feeling a sense of waning attractiveness and grasping at anything that will slow the metaphorical slide into "old age" than simple malice.
The most glaring example is a couple that still professes to be under 50 when their online resumes shows they've been in leadership positions in business since the 80's. Unless national companies are hiring 4 year olds to run businesses, they're more like 70.
The deception, not the age, makes them a "No" for us. Mrs C. likes older men (yay for me, though she was heartbroken when Sean Connery passed) but she can't stand liars. For me the deception is proof you can't trust them on things like STD's...if they'll lie about one thing to get you in bed, they'll lie about anything else with a similar lack of compunction.
Kind of like a like button.. but one of the flaws is that thirsty people would end up liking everything in hope of hooking up.
I have seen some profiles that say they snapshot or video verify before agreeing to meet.
AandJinNNJ, I tried to be nice by making it a positive thing but it's not about helping lyers feel good. It's about saving people's time. And I think you realize that lol..
Thn,
You've already got folks who don't want to they meet or play with to be known. No way they'd want anyone to be able to thumbs up their pics. You'd have to make it like certs, only appear when approved by the profile owner. Kind of defeats the purpose
THN - Sounds a lot like a "Like" button.
So what we try and do is while traveling, meeting playmates, and just having fun we try and upload as many new photos as possible.. just this last Halloween we had a party at our clubhouse and sports match.. every year and several times.. we upload new ones.
Many on SLS are with our FWB while traveling and playing.. ! Then we here you are NOT in your 60s.. yes we are and work hard at trying to stay young in mind and soul ... some we have met as stated look nothing like their photos in the profile.
I wish there was a little button next to each profile picture that another profile could click that would be a thumbs up and a date. As in, as of this date, they looked like that picture.
It's a way to make a positive affirmation.
More and more we are finding folks that have not updated their age or even profile for years some 10+. Now we have not been meeting up 2 on 2 but when we meet folks at parties and such then come back and check their profile sometimes it is hard to recognize them due to the wrong age, "new at this" when they are not new, and very dated pictures. Now I will admit our pictures need updating a bit however what you see is us even if some are a year old. We keep our ages and all up to date or at least as up to date as we can (a couple pounds gain or loss is expected) and try to change our profile a bit and put an updated date on it. It's not hard nor is it time consuming to do this and it can be done every few moths say with the change in seasons.
I simply do not understand how people expect folks not to notice these discrepancies when you meet face to face. Are they thinking you will just say "What the hell we are here." and head to a room? That's not how it works. I equate this to saying you have a brand new sports car with pictures of you beside it then show up to the car show in a broke down oil leaking 20yo wreck. Nothing wrong with driving what you can afford or like (I myself have a 21 yo truck that is my preferred driver even though we have other younger vehicles) but don't misrepresent.
We don't care so much if someone lies about their age by a few years. What we do care about is if they don't look like their pictures. We've met people who look 10 years younger than their age, so if they have a 10 year younger age in their profile and look it, who cares. HOWEVER, if they put ten years younger and have 10 year old pics that they don't like at all like, that's deceptive advertising. We can't imagine having pics in our profile making us look younger and better only to meet someone and have them be instantly disappointed and think we deceived them.
So.. update # 1,025,053 to this thread (more or less). History over the last dozen years moved us to just house parties, hotel takeovers, and clubs. But it had been a while so we decided to conduct a little experiment. Over this last month we met (with sincere intention of connecting) three couples out for the lunch/drinks/dinner kind of thing- just two on two meeting. Prior to meeting we each opened pics and exchanged multiple nice emails.
Two of the three couples had pictures up that were 10+ years old which was kind of like hanging out with your grandparents. Do we intend to have sex when we're in our 70's? Absolutely- but that's just not today.
The third couple was pretty fun to hang out with and we absolutely clicked with one of them, however, not the other. And the one we didn't really click with also had pics that were 10+ years old. Back to house parties, clubs, and hotel take-overs for us. What you see, is what you get.
It is so much easier and fun to meet swingers at house parties and Meet and Greets, just too much hassle to pick a match off the internet..Mary Jo
This has become a huge problem as we have gotten older.
We do not put face pics on here but our face pics are very recent that we do send, our pics on here are probably going on a year old but they are 100 percent representative of who we are from the neck down.
That doesn't seem to be the norm. When your 30 you can probably get away with a pic from when your 25. When your 50, 45 can be a huge stretch.
We have met 2 couples on the site who has to be at LEAST 15 years older than their pics, it wasn't even close. We've been on and off this site for nearly 20 years and there are profiles that STILL have the same pics. There is a profile here with a CRT TV in the background.
One couple we even mentioned it to because you could tell in the pics they sent there was a progression, but after mentioning we figured they'd be pretty bold/stupid to meet after saying something but we were wrong.
When it happens once you chalk it up to the game but if it keeps happening time to stop being polite and just never get out of the car because now your wasting our time.
"Just look like your pictures, and we are good."
Eventually you'll meet a couple who has been a member here for 10 years but never updates their pics. Happens all the time.
Putting a zero for weight or even having an accurate weight listed is not that big of a deal to me. It's not like swinging is an MMA match; I'm not going to bring a scale to test that you made weight. Just look like your pictures, and we are good.
Esperanza911 blocks work the other way around silly. That said I think you get off on how you try (and fail) to make yourself seem to be some kind of Bi-crusader or whatever fantasy you have going on.
We found LS parties easily 10x more productive than anything we do online. It was maybe like 1 in 20 times or so that we both didn't get to play at any party we ever went to. We do tend to stay until closing, which can make a difference too. For whatever reason it seems people wait to play at a number of parties till after 1 am or so.
Mayhem, more true words have never been spoken. We had just joined a club and started exploring that aspect of the lifestyle. After 3 weeks and 2 visits our country closed down. Can’t wait until we can get back there!
Doesn't apply as much now as before the pandemic, but these are all reasons why it is/was so much easier to meet at parties.
Rustic, I agree that not listing weight is a sort of lying and we probably wouldn’t play with a couple because of it. I was making the point that that person chastises people all day on PC and their self perceived wokeness. I just find it comical that they’re such hypocrites.
Rustic - You can take our profile name out of whatever incessant, patronizing spew you spew on these boards. Please block our profile so as to not be subjected to our posts/profile. Asshat.
Responding like a petulant child regarding calling people on their bi-erasure and bi-phobia is also incredibly unattractive.
Putting zero for weight is a bald-faced lie.
Talking about bisexual people as though they want to fuck everything in sight, and failing to recognize the fetishisizing and erasure of bisexuals in the lifestyle... beyond unattractive.
New_and_Naughty while I don't agree with Esperanza on a lot of things I have to agree not putting your weight (or at least as best you can from the last time you were on a scale) is as dishonest as lying about your age. This site and others like it are all about people matching up based on compatibility. Be that sexual, preference, age, weight, body style, or a host of other things including personality. Many people do not post pictures because of the same reason you mentioned and that too is wrong. The first thing people need to learn when being in the lifestyle is to accept yourself and all your perceived flaws. Once you do that you may find out that others also accept you and do not even notice the flaws you think you have. Hide your perceived flaws and folks will fill in the blanks with things that are likely worse than what you are thinking. For example if someone puts down 0 as a weight or age as a 99 I tend to think 500+# and at least 70. Even if that is not true they obviously are hiding something so it gets a hard pass even when the pictures look good because without the numbers it draws into question if they are even pictures of the person.
Guess you’re not an actual ally of people that have a negative body image issue or low self esteem. People don’t not list weight because they’re trying to impress you, they don’t list weight (most times) because they have low self esteem. I’m sure calling them dumb will help with that. Way to judge, Champ!
Lying is lying and it's all unattractive. What's even dumber is putting a zero for weight.
