My Gal Slept with a guy

While the base note got deleted, it does keep track of who the OP was in case anyone was interested in checking out their profile ;-)

The timing of this supposed event sort of coincided with the discussion of the the BookendS movie. Different sort of drama because, at least in the movie, they all got to play.

If this event really did happen, it may have been worth it for this couple to watch the movie first to perhaps put an idea in their heads that they should talk this out first to try to figure out how to minimize the risk of bad feeling afterwards.

One thing that wouldn't have helped is that the movie leads one to believe that full swap is the only way to fly. I've seen at least one other movie where a newbie couple is led off by an experienced couple to separate rooms to play. In this other movie, neither newbie played but they both thought they did when they got back with their partner and were "so relieved" to find out they didn't actually do anything.

“ Dam I missed it ... couple went to play with another couple and female half played but the OP didnt play and got mad??”

Alleged. From looking at the profile and reading his story, I found it kind of suspicious. So i thought I’d have some fun with it.

Oh YES.. one must have thick skin to set foot in forums .. we dont hold hands and sing KumBa Ya with fakes or wanna bees !

Didn't just get mad, wanted advice on whether to leave her for her selfishness.

Dam I missed it ... couple went to play with another couple and female half played but the OP didnt play and got mad??

"If you are not in swinging for your partner, for all the fun she can have, then you damn well shouldn't be doing it. " Exactly...

We have actually met couples just like you all. They are doing this swinging thing and aren't 100% sold on it and really haven't taken the time to talk to and listen to one another. As suggested, both of you need to sit down and read through threads here and articles. Then have a huge discussion with days and weeks to completely digest things before trying anything again. If either of you is going to be jealous then it will never work. As Molly said, your motivation should be that your partner enjoys themselves and hopefully gets to play with people who are better than what she normally has. The two of you get to make your own guidelines together and you must then communicate them in your profile and to potential play partners. You can only blame yourself for your lack of communication. Begin with an apology and go from there.

But my Gal then claims she... slept with him just to make me happy..."

and

"i was left all alone......should i leave my gal who never cared for my happiness .... much selfish just for her...."

Dude, sorry to kick a man when he's down, but I don't think your girl is the selfish one. I think she tried to give you what you thought you wanted and you, because you're stuck somewhere in toddlerhood and didn't get laid by someone else and are now having a tantrum, don't deserve her. Or, really, anyone, until you grow up.

If you are not in swinging for your partner, for all the fun she can have, then you damn well shouldn't be doing it.

I agree that you are not ready. Not sure if your girl was ready either. From what you’re telling us about the way he was tearing her up, and the way he had her moaning in ecstasy, she’s ready now if she wasn’t then. My guess is she knows you’re not ready and that’s why she said she really didn’t want to do it. She was trying to make you feel better for chickening out. Screaming and moaning in erotic bliss is not something she would do If she didn’t want that man to bury his huge penis inside of her. Hopefully next time you both enjoy it, best of luck to you both.

it sounds to me that you are definitely not ready for swinging. was swinging your idea or hers? if it was your idea, what did you expect?

@Eva - That sucks, but having been on this site you could have perhaps looked at some of the "Getting Started" posts or other threads to help. Water over the dam now.

Early on in your journey, fairness will likely be a huge thing. It is not unusual that one getting to play while the other doesn't will be a very big deal, so most couples will start with a rule that either they both play, or neither plays.

It is also way more likely newbies will require same room play, partly because of the above rule. Sometimes what you imagine can be way more intense than what you actually see. In our experience, it is very rare for newbies to engage in seperate room play, and if they do, it's likely they really haven't talked about it and/or worked out any rules/details.

Even though we are experienced now, we have encountered couples on occasion where the girl is only looking for other girls to make her and her guy happy but has no intention of playing with other guys herself. Not sure if that was the case here, but when it has happened to us the Mrs has been like, "Ummm Yeah, we're done here."

Lastly, if you otherwise have had a good relationship with your girl up until now, it doesn't mean you need to throw it away. As was mentioned, sex with others is just meant to be a fun activity. I make the analogy that it is like bowling. It is a fun thing to do with others, but the Mrs isn't going to leave or think lessor of me because the other guy got a higher score than me ;-)

If you do decide to work things out, go back and look at some of the forum threads I mentioned. There are a number of people here that will be more than happy to help you two with you LS journey if you decide to continue down this path.

So this is your first post.. welcome but sorry if you have not worked out these issues prior to swinging and coming on SLS do so.. take a step back and talk about all issues. Only honest talks about what each one wants and enjoy will work and yes it does change over time as you become more secure swinging.. its just sex and not love as some think it is.

Its sex like any game...and one must enjoy the journey together.. that includes some guys will be better than you.. some ladies better then your wife and most of all just have fun vs the drama you already bring to swinging... thats not what swinging is so work on your marriage first.

Good luck.. hope it works out.. and next time look at what you write as it says volumes about your first post and who you are.. and if you cannot take what will be answered on forums.. then dont ask the question as so many get offended by the answers... once again good luck.