How can we not be rude

We're more into larger house and hotel parties so we mostly meet singles through parties and other couples.

We prefer the smorgasbord buffet to the a la carte menu... Lol

We don't meet singles alone unless we already know them from a party or if we know another couple who recommends them.

We have recently put it in our profile that we don't meet any NEW singles unless it's at a club or party.
That change has cut down on messages from guys we're not interested in meeting. If they actually read the profile, that is.

We might make an exception if he has lots of positive certs and has been in the lifestyle for years, but not for random new members.
If they're awkward and have no game in their messages they rarely get better in person.

I will also admit that I didn't always think this way.

After several hundred emails over the years from total jackasses. I've just came to look at them like flies that need to be swatted.

We still have our profile open to singles. Hoping that maybe someday the unicorn of a decent single guy might float by.

Pretty bad when the decent single guys become the new unicorns on sls. Lol

Yes I have heard from several people about aff. (which is why we never joined that site) Basically telling me exactly what I am predicting MIGHT happen to sls.

It was probably painting with way too wide of a brush with my comment about the ladies but I think I'm just grouping all the singles together. (which I shouldn't do.)

I also understand sls wanting all of the single guys. Lotsa money!!!

Ya I'm probably just hung up on it is correct. It's probably more so that I have watched what happens to sites when the single males take over. They will run off the ladies and couples.

Look at kik. Years ago there was a half decent blend of males and females. Anymore it's 95% to 5%

2out- Seems like you're hung up on your own definition of a swinger.

Without singles (especially single males) SLS would quickly go broke. They're selling a dream.

The quality singles are extremely successful in the lifestyle. One regular forum poster has 100-plus certs. Is he not a swinger?

I agree there's lots of annoying, clueless single guys here that give the others a bad name. Nothing compared to AFF, though.

“female singles think they are goddesses.”

Just call me ‘Vesta’, Mr. Tracy ;)

You can understand our confusion about what it is you're trying to say here

Not sure what is so confusing. Yes we like and play with singles. No I do not think they should be on sls. To me and only to me. Just because we play with them doesn't make them a swinger.

Out of the dozens of singles that we have played with. Only 3 ever came thru sls. The rest were bar pickups, campground people, Facebook, etc.

Just because I played catch with Joe Montana doesn't make me a football player.

(BTW I never did. It was an analogy)

I think the term SWINGING from years ago when couples swapped spouses and that is really how it was designed to work.. Any other more modern way will go against the grain and cause issues with true swinging couples...Will work for some couples but will not be ideal...Increased Bi Sexual activity will attract more singles....Mary Jo

"Singles aren't swingers."

"We like singles and play with singles."

You can understand our confusion about what it is you're trying to say here...

It's a catch 22. We like singles and play with singles. These same singles will also be the demise of sls.

The male singles are just over the top dominating the site and the female singles think they are goddesses.

We know several singles, male and female, who are in the lifestyle and organize or get invited to the parties we go to.

If the lifestyle was just one couple meeting another couple it would get boring pretty quickly for us. Four way chemistry between two couples isn't always easy so we much prefer the larger house/hotel parties.

If they don't fit your definition of a swinger that's okay. Labels aren't important.

2outdoorlovers,

Now you are getting into the terminology issue.
For what it is worth I agree that swinging is essentially a couples sport. The problem is what to do with Thirds.
When we play with our friend then we are swinging, but he is not??
Confusing.
For the most part I would say singletons hook up with each other, then not swinging
Playing with marrieds , then swinging.
Playing with non committed couple? Perhaps hooking up?

That is without getting into the whole polyamory thing.

People play fast and loose with terminology. It is like "soft swing", which can mean almost anything.

Umm. I feel this way about ALL singles on this site. Male, female, or anything in between.

Singles aren't swingers.

Just because people sign up on sls doesn't make them a swinger.

99% or more of the singles are more of a nuisance than a credit to the community.

Sorry tallmark

I seem to be more interested in married guys and gals for that reason....Singles can be a bit unappealing....Women must be good at making a man better...Mary Jo

For us anyone gets a chance. If someone clearly does not make the cut for any reason, we generally just say there is no connection and good luck. If someone were not to take the hint there is always blocking them.
Two things that eliminate them are out and out lying , and not being tolerant of viewpoints other than their own.

Single guys are not of much interest to us although have been exceptions.

We get a message from a couple about 8 months ago, for arguments sake let’s call the rizz3c. They’re 10-15 years younger than us and the female half is gorgeous. The male half, in my wife’s words, was “how the fuck is he with her” as far as looks go. For the hell of it we respond, they give their handle for a chat site and we start a chat. My wife wants no parts of him, but willing to take one for the team so that’s she and I can both get some of the female half. After about 30 minutes of he and my wife chatting, and my wife pretty much only talking about how beautiful the woman is, he says she doesn’t play. Ok, adios! About 2 weeks ago he again sends us a message. So I respond, last time you contacted us you said the female half doesn’t play, is that still the case? He blocked us within a minute. So not only is he ugly, he’s dumber than a bag of dog shit. That’s the type of single guy that pisses us off.

It's really hard to not be rude to singles.

Just blocked a young man this morning as he thought a friend request and a private pic request was all it should take to introduce yourself. We also have to deal with the male weasels who act like there is a female half to the couple only to disappear when pressed if shes actually real.

We have a long wordy profile for a reason. We've found that if a couple can actually spend the 2 minutes it takes to go all the way through it's very likely they are worth the effort to meet them and see if anything develops.

Just as early as this morning I had a couple contact us. It says right on our profile NO SMOKERS. Guess what they were smokers. Please take the time to read our profile. It may not be the best but it is at least says what we like and don't like.

We had a member of a couple that became super offended that we wanted to vet them to be sure they were real. After chatting for a few days he hadn't shown our profile or any communication to his wife. We had asked for a 4 way chat from the start. We let them know we vet everyone. However, it was super offensive to them or at least him. For us, it most commonly is just a short video chat (not a sex cam thing). There really is no way of guessing who is or isn't going to be offended or what will trigger the offense. Just find a good means of filtering that works for you all, be polite, and let easily offended people be easily offended. Don't get too torn up over it. The last thing you want is a passive aggressive tantrum make you feel guilty in some way shape or form.

One of the problems of the digital age is that people are into short text messages. Many don't see "Hi, u all look grate!" as in any way a deficient means to begin a conversation. They also just go straight from your profile thumbnail to a message and don't read anything that may look so laborious as a paragraph. We have seen the same transition in the work place as well. A good many of them just communicate that way when it comes to anything digital. The problem is that it becomes super tiring filtering through it all. Thankfully, we have met some really solid people who had terrible profiles and couldn't message really well. Everyone only has so much time and space of LS things. Just figure out how much you have and don't filter through something that is going to give you frustration. We have told folks, "could you take some time and look through our profile and tell us what you think," as part of our first reply.

We know this is an age old topic. But for the life of us we really understand that all single men are not bad. But that stigma follows them due to others just not getting the hint. They either read the profile and choose not to see what you don’t want. Or they by pass it anyway and just keep coming. And I it’s to the point where it’s like makes a little ticked off. Now it’s fake couples profiles. I guess you can’t weed them out. Because we know some guys just want fun. But come on. Just read the profiles carefully and follow the rules.