Encounters with a Safe Word

If one were to have safe words, I'd think that coming from a woman the words "code red" could have a double meaning. It would leave people thinking, "Poor thing. She must have started her period."

So, nobody uses I'm cumming, I'm gonna cum, Oh Jesus, Oh God, Oh fuck, Yes, Oh Yes, OH OH YESSSS?

Just asking 'cause I've been smacked a time or 2 after partners used those words.

Our safe word used to be "mistletoe".

If she's talking about Christmas in June it's time to head for the exits.

Richard Milhouse Nixon. If that gets woven into a conversation, it's time to go.

Exactly LMK.. but Kat and I also have "Cactus" as our safe fun word.. with all sorts of "Cactus " in our homes and we just smile when people ask us about them!

LMK - I did have a feeling it was more to be polite. By the time we meet someone, we have a very good iea of what we're getting into. While I always try to be polite, if someone intentionally misrepresented themselves, I don't have a problem politely calling them out on it.

Liikewise, if someone did something wrong (i.e. assumed it was OK to cum in a girls mouth with zero warning), if they truely did not realize it and you don't let them know, they won't learn how to get/be better.

Anyway, in our 8+ years in the LS, we just have not seen a reason (at least not yet) to have "safe words". While we are experienced, there are always new things to learn though.

Mayhem, I’m with you. Because I play in the kink world, everything is discussed ahead of time. If they’re doing something I don’t like during play, I tell them. Stop, slow down, pull back etc. So plain English works for me. I’ve never had an issue. Plus, for me anyway, I get in a zone. So it’s easier for me to say, “slower” or “softer” or whatever, than to say something totally not related to what we’re doing.

Now, where I do think it might be beneficial, perhaps for a couple, is if you’re in a situation with another couple and you want to politely remove yourself without hurting their feelings. Then a code phrase may work.

~LMK~

I came across someone recommending safe words to someone attending a party/club for the first time. Honestly, I can't see a time where plain English wouldn't work. Do others have them and is it just so that you won't insult someone in a more obvious way?

The whole thing seems goofy to me. If someone is doing something we don't like, we just tell them. If a party sucks and we want to leave, one will just look at the other and ask, "Shall we get out of here?". It was mentioned in kink play "No" may have different meanings, but if No always means No for you, I don't understand the point in safe words.

Safe words (just usr Red luke everyone else) are unecessary unless you are doing some form of CNC where no, stop, etc, don't have the meaning they normally do. Even with something like impact play, I prefer plain language.

I don't do kink with casual partners, but if I did I'd insist on safe words. In my current relationships, they're used with one partner.

We always do when delving into anything in the bdsm realm.

Oh Yes.. depends on what kind of play but ours is "Cactus" and we have photos of cactus all over our home and we just laugh when some look at them!

I was wondering if others utilize "Safe Words" when in negotiated situations that cross in to multiple lifestyle arenas.