Bi play required (WTF)

I had a lady say once that she only put up with the man to get to the wife. Needless to say that was the last time we played.

We have had couples tell us that they only want my wife, but they was ok if I wanted to watch. I have a high sex drive and I am not in the lifestyle to just watch. The first time we got together was with a sexy couple. He wanted my wife and I wanted his. We got in the bedroom, my wife and him was going at it fast. I was just about to get inside of that sexy lady and she jumped up out of bed and said I don't want this. I was nice and said, I understand not a problem. After my wife and her husband finished we was leaving their room and heard him tell her "all you want is another woman". We left as there fight started. Not sure of the percentage of women in the LS that only wants another woman, but I know it's a lot. It use to turn me on, but now it's becoming a turn off. A big turn off when the other lady don't want you but they want your wife. Makes a man not feel attractive anymore. I don't have a problem with the ladies having fun but it sucks when you are not even acknowledged by the man's wife.

If we did get more activity from couples looking to start girl on girl, we'd probably consider listing the Mrs as straight because playing with guys is her strong preference and she is perfectly fine if no Bi play happens at all. Our profile makes it clear that if couples are looking to start with girl on girl, we're not a match.

Moekathy: really great points, and we’ve also made similar conclusions. We do wonder how many couples out there feel that FF play is a polite (or simple) way to initiate play, when all the women really want to do is get right to playing with the men. For me (Kira), I need a man’s touch to turn me on, so I find it awkward to only play with another woman while the men just watch, kind of like being in a sporting event.

We also “tried out” me listing as bi-curious (since I’m comfortable with group play), but found that even though we saw more interest, many of the couples had very specific requirements for how the women should play, namely “to get things started.” Then, listing as straight for me tended to eliminate most couples with a specific “bi-agenda”, and now, most couples who contact us come with no agenda and are open to all sorts of play, with or without FF action. And that works really well for us!

~Kira

moekathy, I agree with you. I also believe that if someone wants to have sex with the same sex it is their choice, what ever kind of sexual relation or act it is. Who am I to say what a person can lick or suck, or put their penis into. We also think that the whole Bi sexual thing is just a way to get things going. She likes men and I like women, We we're born that way!

We can't speak for anyone else, but we were born bi.

As an experiment, we listed as bi-curious for a year then we went back to our normal straight. We experienced in sharp drop in emails from new couples. While It was still more than we could handle, we still get the "so she is not bi?" question frequently.

In our humble opinion, the bi thing is a fallacy. Let us elaborate a bit.

Fact 1: Swingers are nothing but a segment of the population, and while they express elevated levels of sexual comfort, it is illogical that such a segment has amazingly higher bisexuality ratios compared to the rest of the population.

Fact 2: Most men own brown, black, and if absolutely wild, burgundy dress shoes. Women own tons of color. If you send a guy to the store to buy detergent, he will come back with "Tide" while a woman is much more likely to come back with a "new and improved" product that she has not tried before. Why is that? Because men are in the "box" while women long time ago learned to get out of the box.

Combined the two above, and you could understand how women are more likely to touch women during play, while the majority of men go to lengths to emphasize how "straight" they are in their profile.

The easiest and laziest way to initiate sex with a couple is to nudge the women into touching and starting the play, while the men grown comfortable with the setting and eventually jump in. We also have to acknowledge that many men, out of respect/uncertainly, don't want to grab your woman and start making out with her. However, most men love watching a woman make out with their wives/girlfriends. Most women don't mind it because they are okay with being out of the box. We all have seen, or done this before. So are all these women bisexual? Well, not exactly.

In the lifestyle, we noticed that out of 20 couples we meet whose women are "bi" or "bi-curious", only one, maybe two are really bisexual. You can always tell those. They will focus heavily on the female part and are content with completely forgetting about the men for a while. The best, and most appropriate description of a "bi" person we ever heard is: "Someone who is willing to exclusively date, and live with a partner of either sex". Apply this definition, and you will see how quick the "bi" pool dwindles down to normal ratios. This makes the majority of swinging women simply bi-comfortable or bi-friendly, but not really bisexual.

So in summary, we believe that this situation was (mostly, not always) created by men to reduce the awkwardness of starting the sexual encounter, and building up stamina from watching the girl show! Newer couples especially tend to use this approach while still developing a comfort in the lifestyle and improving their female interaction techniques.

Although, in South Florida, SDC is the most common site.

Anyone know of a better site than this one we are canceling our subscription and looking for one with more of a way to narrow down what we are looking for. This one is way to broad in search . Like one day we like to eat out Italian and next week we would like Indian . Anyone know of a site like that ?

Yeah we too have had our share of "yeah let's get together you guys are hot! And then the say , we are looking for girl on girl action. We say we aren't looking for that . Then no more conversation. It's ridiculous . Let us know what you really want before we gave 5 full days of texting and pic sharing . What to doooooo?

Mayhem,....very well said!

No bi play at all required here and we believe it silly anyone needs two women to set it off. Our profile states the misus’ bi preferences.

~Allen

spaghetti...lol

Hedo, we get it. C is not truly bi. She strongly prefers being with men. In the throes of passion, she will happily engage in some bi play and she’ll enjoy it. But she doesn’t seek it out, and if there is no g/g she won’t complain or be disappointed. I guess the more appropriate label would be “bi-comfortable”. Or she’s like spaghetti: straight until she gets wet.

We actually attend Bi friendly parties and people in the forum have asked why we would do that. For one, they tend to be a lot of fun. Even at a Bi/Bi friendly party there are couples where only one half is some flavor of Bi, so one can't assume anything. The majority of play at Bi parties is not Bi play, so we can and do have a blast and it doesn't bother us if some guy wants to suck some other guys cock or girls want to lick and finger each other.

The idea is that everyone can have their own version of fun with other people that share that same version. We're actually flattered that friends of ours can let loose and enjoy playing with others the way they want to and feel comfortable enough to do that in front of us. It allows both sides more opportunities to play the way they want to and, in a group, can accommodate those people where Bi play is required. So, someone can have her Kate and eat her too ;-)

MandC508, It sounds to us like you are not opposed to straight couples and no Bi play. Everyone has their own way. We as a straight couple would normally not even look into a profile stating Bi Sexual. Bi curious yes! but not Bi Sexual. We have, in the past, reply's of not compatible, even just by looking at a Bi profile. We've been told How do you get things going without it, and even been told why are you even in the lifestyle then. We look at it as we are not missing out, their missing out.

"When we read profiles from couples that says they like to start with g/g play, it feels like (to us) that our play will be scripted and follow a format. We like spontaneous."

Rabbit is bi but we completely agree with the above statement.

Considering the topic though, no Bi play should be expected if a couple lists as straight. Expecting it from a straight couple is definitely a WTF moment. I know that some number of people will intentionally list their preferences incorrectly (aka - lie), but it should not be an expectation that everyone does that. This is especially true for straight women seeing as how there is much less of a stigma for them than Bi men.

Starting with g/g is like needing to watch porn to get started. We've never been like that. When we've clicked and played with couples we've met at clubs, parties, or on dates, both of us can't wait to get with the opposite partner. We understand that g/g play is fun for some people, and that's great for them. When we read profiles from couples that says they like to start with g/g play, it feels like (to us) that our play will be scripted and follow a format. We like spontaneous.

C will certainly engage in g/g during couples play while we all happen to be on the same bed if there is an interested female partner. Once in a while, a flirty kiss when we fist meet or start. As mentioned by TomandDiane, g/g generally happens organically in the heat of the moment. It just seems more natural (not to mention hot & sexy) that way.

We're primarily a straight up full swap couple. Any lady play for Diane depends on the chemistry & if it happens, it needs to be organic, not a forced situation where the ladies starting the fun is a must.

I've seen a number of profiles where couples prefer play to start with g/g. Hedo's story makes a lot of sense. It shows that some couples look for that because they literally have no idea how to get play started unless it's initiated by the women.

While I admit that most women have a much better sense of timing and hints/cues than guys, like anything else, a guy can learn to pick up on those same cues and push the same buttons. A guy that has to rely on g/g for play to start has likely never developed that skill. If g/g is how they normally start, he probably sees no reason to change if they've have some level of success.

Wonder if there's a "How to Seduce Women for Dummies" book?...lol

We've found that if you only click and look at profiles which say the female is straight, in other words if we only seek couples which the Female is straight,t it seems to work for us very well. Just don't waste your time looking at Bi profiles that's all.

If we come across a couple where it was required we would just pass. Simple as that.

Hedo, we remember that story, PRICELESS! !!!!

The Mrs isn't Bi with everyone. But she's very Bi for some. Of course she does prefer a hard cock or two over a wet pussy.

If you ever get to Wells next summer, give us a shout.

Re: For-Real-Couple, We agree 100%. As we said before on this thread, One party which we went to, we met a couple which we seemed to hit it off with, Di was talking with the guy, he said but how to you get things going, if you don't play with my wife. Di told this man who she actually found attractive, ok, you go suck Tony's dick and I'll eat your wife's pussy. Well, that ended the conversation.