Why is G/G so difficult between couples?

Everyone is different

For me, g/g only is a no go. Why would I need to even be there? I’ve got full access to Pornhub, no thanks. Maybe me and the other dude could go to the bar and have a beer while the girls get busy, but, hell, I came to have a good time, not chill with some dude I barely know and drink beer. I understand some people get turned on by simply watching that, but not me. I’ve seen it enough to know that it’s only interesting if I’m getting some action at the end. Shit, I could save myself a ton of money and time and just watch porn with the Mrs. then bang her at home. That’s why it’s so hard. The lady wants a lesbian experience and the males be damned. Go on a dating site for lesbians and bi women, and don’t waste my time. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against it for other people, I’ve just been thrust into the situation before. Be upfront about it, and you will find those that are willing to abide by your rules. Good luck.

Part Two. Lol

“We offered our honest reaction to a particular activity. Please explain how you see it as "out of line." We'd really like to know.”

First, your reaction to the activity is not what I disagree with. It's neither dishonest nor cruel. It is the way you feel. It's brutally honest.

There are more than a few practices that would make me feel similar. The difference between you and I at this point in our lives is the way we describe our position.

I may meet a couple and find the female half to be ugly, distasteful, and absolutely repulsive in every way. If I was wanting to be brutally honest and tell her that, I certainly could. I'm hoping that you'll agree with me in that there are times when unfettered honesty may not produce the best effect, and it can even be harmful.

Like your reaction to the watch and be watched thing, I would have very negative reactions to the thought of sexual intercourse (of any type) with other men. However, I would not consider those who did care for that to be disgusting or any other of the many labels I'm sure you've heard.

I'm just hoping that you don't want to be one of the very many who you've referenced earlier who make those kind of posts.

Your opinions have value, and I hope you and a few of the other new faces stick around this place for a while. It's gotten sort of dull in recent times.

In the end, I wish you well. You've offered your opinions and I've done the same. I'm now off to see what troubles I can get into.

Tramp

OK, sorry for that delay...but here we go.

“We offered our view of a sexual practice under discussion in the thread, where views of participants are actively sought. Please explain, then, how you find the comment ‘out of line.’ “

I agree 100% with this. You offered your view in a place meant for that purpose; and then, I did the exact same. So far, we are on the same page.

“Further,...please explain how it differs from the hundreds, perhaps thousands, of other comments populating these forums in which people offer their views of sexual orientations and practices.”

It doesn't, and that is really the point that I'm wanted to make, but I'll come back to that.

“We know for certain, because we've been told directly and indirectly, that our sexual preferences and interests are viewed as disgusting by others…”

I have no doubt of that. This is actually one of the reasons that I'm wanting to give my opinion of your ridicule of those who prefer the “watch and be watched” senario.

To say that an activity doesn't interest you is one thing, we're all unique on some level. To say that you find an activity insulting, disgusting, and creepy is an obvious ridicule of the practice. It's hurtful to the target, and it's unflattering to you.

Again, I agree totally that you entitled to your opinions and free to express them. My hope is that you are not someone who wants to intentionally walk on the feelings of others the way I'm certain yours have been done many times.

“...yet we do not see why we should take offense.”

Now Crazy, I'm gonna have to go ahead and call a little bullshit on that one. I don't believe for one second that you are not the least bit offended by someone telling you that you're disgusting or creepy.

You may well be able to handle that sort of thing, but to suggest that it's neither hurtful or even offensive to you, well...I'm not buying that one.

“There is nothing more varied, complex or nuanced than human sexuality. And few things in life evoke as strong of reactions, both positive and negative--billions of humans really get into the things that they like in sex and are powerfully repulsed by things they do not like in sex--and, in our view, either reaction is perfectly legitimate and perfectly fair to share.”

Your point is well taken on that one. At the risk of redundancy, I'll again remind you that I champion your freedom to state your opinions whether they be mild, harsh, encouraging, or hurtful. I champion my freedom to do the same.

“We did not say anything that anyone was doing was illegal or immoral…”

Nor did I claim that you did.

“...[nor] did we say that anyone was of low moral character.”

Agreed, you only said that you found them “insulting, disgusting, and creepy.” That's a fine distinction but one that I'll concede.

“We offered our honest reaction to a particular activity. Please explain how you see it as "out of line." We'd really like to know.”

That is a really great question, and it gets to the very reason I wrote in the first place.

Let me answer that right in a separately above as this one has just gotten too long.

Tramp

Bi-curious, as a category sucks, It really defines a temporary state, at best. My Mrs likes boobs and has done more in the heat of the moment, but "curious" as a category doesn't fit. She is NOT curious, she knows what she likes and is normally willing to do. It's no wonder this can be difficult even to just set up. We do of course try to clarify preferences in our profile.

As for sitting on the sidelines, if the Mrs were so inclined to want to do girl/girl play I would have zero concerns with it because of how she is. Licking/fingers/toys just do not fully scratch that itch for her so I KNOW at some point I would be involved, even if only to take care of her needs. I suppose I may feel different about it if she were able to be completely satisfied by just girl only play.

"Please explain how you see it as "out of line." We'd really like to know."

That's a fair question, Crazy, and I'll be glad to give a genuine answer. Give me a few mins cause I'm running behind this morning a bit.

Tramp

Crazy: IMO, It’s your opinion and he’s nobody to police you. Furthermore, if he feels it out of line, he should grow thicker skin, but based on his technique, of being gentle, he’s just being cautious not to spill his jerk juice just yet because he just slowly stirring his pot for the witch hunt that him and his butternugget like to pull on select forummers.

On the other hand, it may fit nicely in The Daily Dear Diary thread.

~Allen

"While others may find watching or being watched enjoyable, we do not. For us it is insulting, degrading and kinda creepy."

Just a note here, and it's just a humble oppinion.

We all have our preferences and that's fine. Both Lady and I are straight, but I do not consider, nor would I ever refer to your preference for bisexuality as "...insulting, degrading and kinda creepy."

I respect the kinks and fetishes of anyone as long as it doesn't produce a victim.

Your comment (as quoted above) is out of line.

I tell you that with all the kindness in the world, but I'm saying it all the same.

Tramp

The reason that G/G playing rarely occurs is simple.

Despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of females are listed as bi or bi-curious...very few truly are.

That is just the reality of things here.

I know there are a few of the women who are bi, and this can be very frustrating for them as well as the guys who really want to watch G/G stuff. It just is what it is, I'm affraid.

Tramp

Very rare for couples with straight females maybe, but we have found quite the opposite of the truly bi females.

While we are in the LS to have fun as a couple, I can respect when a couple is up front about their intentions for F/F play only. It’s the devious ones that need choked out, the one’s that start with female play and the next thing you know, the other female is not ready for the men to join, then later announce “the show’s over”, intentionally leaving the men without play.

~Allen

It is very rare that both of the parties just want one to play. We wouldn't want to do that because this is a thing we both want. However u will find people out there that do this. Just very rare.

SB

I truly believe that the number of females listed as bi or curious is seriously misleading in terms of how things really are.

Many relatively straight ladies might go for light or playful G/G touching, etc. On the other hand, a total girl/girl play date is going to require that BOTH are a little more than just playful.

The reality is that truly bisexual women are not nearly as common as these profile lables might lead one to believe. Not even close.

Tramp

IMO, G/G play may be better just between the females, like giving the wife or gf a hall pass. Personally, I don't have much interest in that unless I find the woman just so amazingly hot, otherwise I am a huge fan of fmf or fmfm. Not to mention, most these so-called bi or bi-curious women are pillow princesses, meaning, they just lay there and do nothing, like their pussy is just so off the hook but they can't reciprocate which I prefer they don't because most don't know what the fuck they are doing. I still come home, in most cases, and masturbate. Don't get me wrong, I love giving her pleasure but it's wonderful when you run into a woman who has good oral skills...

We have the same rule. It is difficult to find those who are interested in only G/G play. We did have a moment with a unicorn. She and I had a blast. My husband participated with me. Unfortunately, she moved away.

Stick to what you are comfortable with doing. The lifestyle is not black and white. It's a virtual rainbow of interests.

"Your lifestyle.. your rules"

Exactly! Short and sweet. Well said R&K.

Make YOUR lifestyle the way YOU want it to work for you.

Hit del post on the duplicates. :P

I don't look at it as exhibitionistic when the Mrs has G/G play. I'll admit though, I do watch and sometimes I get to use a pinwheel, spank, rub and kiss on each of them while they play. My participation may be null or limited, but if it makes her happy, I am for it.

Magnetite is right.... But do what feels good, and feels right..

I also think it is BS to think that G/G is some how less than sex. As if lesbians don't have sex because neither woman possesses a cock.

I don't think it is just the men. You're basically narrowing your field to Bi/lesbian exhibitionists married to men who are voyeurs and cuckolds.

Since I'm not an exhibitionist I wouldn't be into that regardless of what Mr. Magnetite thinks.

Agreed! We think a lot of the confusion comes from the preferences folks list in their profiles. For example if you're Soft Swap how can you list yourself as "Wild" or (conversely) if you're Full Swap how can you be "Tame"? We do sympathize with you though, as we've been contacted a few couples that we thought we would be very compatible with (Motorcycling, Concerts, dinner/movies, etc.) thinking we might begin a friendship. But after a few conversations were told that unless they were both getting laid that there was no sense in continuing any further. Bottom line, you shouldn't settle for anything less than what you're looking for... you won't be happy with anything less. You may have to expand your search beyond your local area to find what you're looking for. But as long as you're being up-front about who you are and honest about your wishes/desires be confident and you will find what you're seeking.

My advise, stick to what makes you happy, and don't let other people ruin this experience for you. There are varying spectrums to everything in life, swinging isn't any different. We are the same as you, we enjoy same room sex and I'm ok with g-g when the wife is confortable. But she has no desire to interact with another man and she doesn't want me to touch the other woman. I'm perfectly ok as I get live porn right next to me, and get to see my wife with another woman. We are always up front with every couple we meet. Some go with our rules but pressure a little, and others want the same as us. We have been fortunate that we've only experienced one couple that get mad and asked why we come to a lifestyle club if we're not going to full swap. We dont talk to them anymore. Most everyone else seems fine with us and accept us for who and what we are. This is your life, do what makes you happy and surround yourself with like minded people.

We, as a couple, are content with just girl/girl play. I, the husband, am quite content on just letting my wife play because she doesn't want to participate with any other males.

We have come to find out that their are just not many, if any, couples out there that the male is fine with that. They all say they are fine with it until they realize my wife wasn't kidding and that they are not going to get any action from her.

I could understand it if I was attempting to get with the other female. but, I will not ask for something that I can not give in return. I hardly even talk to the other females that may be involved out of respect for them. If she contacts me, I will talk, but I don't pursue it. We lost a potentially good couples friendship when HE realized that my wife was not going to go behind OUR RULES just to talk to him on the phone. We don't hide anything from each other. He also realized my wife was serious about him not getting any, so he pretty much forbade(?) his wife from contacting/playing withmy wife.

I/we are just coming to the realization that there are a lot of selfish guys in the lifestyle.

Any words of advise?

Thanks for hearing our rant out.

<span style="line-height:1.6em">JnT</span>