senior swingers

@Mayhem

"This is not pointed at anyone particular, but I think a key to staying in the LS at any age is to simply never stop looking AND being prepared to do more than just look. "

I agree 100%, if you are waiting around for it to come to you, it will more times than not happen.

I lived an "everyone knows your business", location for a very long time. The only way to meet people in the lifestyle was driving an hour or longer.

Fortunately for me, I was able to meet a few couples and SFs about that distance away.

If you don't make the effort, don't expect to find the same results for those of us who do.

I am thankful that my husband has a couple of single friends that love love to fuck me when they can

If you really want to play it can be found. Just don't expect to find it on the next block. May have to get in the car & travel a reasonable distance. We've met couples from DE, MD, PA & NY at rough 1/2 way points, each driving up to an hour. Met for drinks, hit it off & got a room. Where there's a will there's a way.

Like we said., excuses.. truth is the truth.. Its on you!

No new photos on iphone to post.. yes its on you for not taking any new ones, going out, enjoying life at a bar, restaurant club with people or alone on a date !

WOW! That's a little harsh. The last time we talked you were a lot nicer. Offering great advice, and you even looked into things going on in our area to help. By the way after looking into things you even said we seem to be in a dead zone. Our comment was just to say hang in and keep going.

By the way we just deleted our pictures in the last week so we could get some newer up to date ones.

We also had many L/S friends pre-covid. The thing is we only have contact with two of them and they both moved to Florida.

Hilarious.. excuses 4 years... are you kidding that's on you!

Just like some who say we are changing photos but it never happens.. it takes a minute with your iphone folks!

Excuses... stop it already ... no ones making it out alive so LIVE, travel, go to parties, or a bar.. but if you are a swinger and cant find someone to have fun with.. change what you are doing !!! Yes same age bracket as you guys and photos just added last week...

We understand your pain Cooltwo. It's been four years for us. Our last L/S date was the night before covid hit. We posted on here before and chatted with many of you. We've been ready to wave the white flag many times, but for some reason we're still here. Like you we will hang in just in case.

Even after being on SLS and other sites for 10 years, I still do come across people where we both say "How have we not met already?". While it is possible to find things you aren't actively looking for, the chances of that happening are certainly less if you stop looking.

This is not pointed at anyone particular, but I think a key to staying in the LS at any age is to simply never stop looking AND being prepared to do more than just look.

Yes we get it.. swinging well lover 30 years, like I said one is 69 and other is 66 , we always find fun, sexy people wherever we go.. so its up to you no one else.... But you do you.. we will not give up and sound defeated.

Even in vanilla settings we find playmates.. !

We are in control of our life and journey

We used to post hot dates quite often. We have a great place to meet people for dancing, dinner and socializing. Problem is alot of people say they want to meet then never show up. Rude as heck!
Then those that do show up are not anywhere near what their profile states or pictures show.
Since we prefer getting to know one another first before play this probably turns off alot of people.
Being in the LS for over 20 years it's not our first rodeo.

cooltwo65 - As for a possible change up, maybe consider setting up a Meet & Greet through Hot Dates at a place that you would normally go to anyway. This may help you find local people that you can get to know and perhaps become FWBs with.

If nobody shows, you can still have dinner/drinks as you would if you had just gone out together. Doesn't hurt to try. There is a good chance that there are other couples near you looking for the same thing you are and just don't know where/how to find it. Good luck.

cooltwo65 - As for a possible change up, maybe consider setting up a Meet & Greet through Hot Dates at a place that you would normally go to anyway. This will help you find local people that you can get to know and perhaps become FWBs with.

If nobody shows, you can still have dinner/drinks as you would if you had just gone out together. Doesn't hurt to try. There is a good chance that there are other couples near you looking for the same thing you are and just don't know where/how to find it. Good luck.

Never.. ever give up.. we find playmates at our local GYM ( this year alone 2 swingesr) , bar/ restaurant. dance venue, and on cruises.. we will play until we are dead!

Its fun, sexy and keeps us young.. and both also in your same age range!!!

Thanks Mayham
Agree with what you are saying. We did change it up by changing our profile to what it currently reads only two weeks ago. Thought we would try and see if there were any couples our age range that were seeking a more one on one experiance so it has only been recently that we "Changed it Up"
We do enjoy going to clubs but alot of older folks just do not go. As far as local swingers it's pretty lame in our area.
Due to getting older and it seems the LS is changing, after our account is due we will probably get out of SLS. We thought it might be worth a try to see if any senior couples might be interested in more frequent experiances.
Obviously this is not the route to go. We are not into the bag shag and skedattle scene.
Just our preference. We fully respect other people preferences sounds like your fortunate to have a great area to enjoy the LS. Wisconsin is not a swinger friendly state. Other than a few hotel parties and meet and greets, there is little going on.
After reading the forum comments it seems we are not alone when it comes to the older generation having issues meeting people.
Guess it's time to face realities and just enjoy each other as we always have and forge on. Life is too short.
Thanks again for your comments.

cooltwo65 - Every FWB was once a stranger. For us, the difference between most strangers and FWBs is simply time. The vast majority of the people we play with are not one and done. Yes, we do play a lot, but that's because we have a lot of LS friends of all ages.

We certainly are nothing special and merely very fortunate to have the parties we have so close to us. A large portion of the crowd at these parties are 50 and up. They come to talk/socialize, and if things go that way, play. There are times where we meet and talk with people multiple times before we ever make it into a bedroom, if at all. There are also times where we just want to play, so we do. Many times any new (to us) people become FWBs.

As for not wanting to travel, I do get that too, but again, we're blessed with a lot of opportunity within 30 mins of our house, and even occasionally have parties at our home, but these are all LS friends of ours.

We tend to not do clubs, or parties with mostly younger crowds, for the same reason you mentioned. Many of the younger crowd are there to party only (i.e. get drunk/stoned, dance). If they do play at all, they tend to do so only with their partner. Clubs don't care because their money is as green as everyone elses.

FWIW - I agree with Onehorneywife. If what you're doing now isn't working for you, you need to change it up somehow.

Thanks Onehorny
Actually, we do go to clubs. But Wisconsin does not have many and you need to drive over 100 miles each way to attend clubs in Illinois. The clubs here are all a lot younger people that do not play and show no intrest in seniors. Plus they are very clickish. Maybe your area is different. We do have LS friends that we have met at clubs but they all live to far away. Seems no one likes to travel except us. Seems the clubs here are being taken over by the younger crowd who just want to get drunk or stoned.
Maybe we are a bit to choosy on who we play with but we prefer quality over quantity.
Finding a regular couple in our age range at a club in this area is rare.

Cool For whatever it is worth sometimes less is more. We are basically in the same age category as you, but I got about halfway through your profile and gave up. Way too much to read. We have had difficulties with people ghosting us also. Seems it is the new lifestyle trend. If you are looking for friends first, then why not go to a swinger club where you can socialize with others with no commitment to go any further right then and there. We have met some nice people at clubs that maybe someday we will play together. We have also met some great people at clubs and have had some really hot times again and again with them. If what you are doing isn't working, then you need to change it up. Good luck to you!

Thanks Mayham
Well, the one thing about the LS is everyone has their own preferences. We do have alot of LS friends but it seems the LS friends we have known for years seem to be staying away from any play times. We have fun get togethers but most also live to far away to get together very often. In viewing your profile your on a total different page than we are. We have been in the LS for over 20 years, played with a fair amount of other people but as we get older interest seems to dwindle.
If sex with total strangers is your bag we fully respect that, but notches on a bed post is not our focus. Finding FWB over SEX WITH STRANGERS at our age is getting to be a challenge. If your just looking for one and done that's your perogative and more power to you.
Having FWB that can spend time together on a frequent basis doing adventures together whether it be sexual play or just enjoying each other's company in vanilla adventures leaves a more satisfying experiance. People that want to see how many conquests they can rack up is fine but some of us old folks enjoy more that just being a number.
We know this is not everyone's preference and fully respect that.
Our search for exclusitivity is very recent, only just posted on our profile. We know couples that are exclusive to each other and they are extremely happy with the situation.
We are not against playing the field but at this point in life it's more about safety, respect, getting to know each others fantasy and this takes more than one or two get togethers. Nothing is more satisfying that being able to totally blow a couples mind by getting to know them and learn what they crave.
While we have had some great one time adventures we have also had some disaster. Why take the chance on a totally bad experiance with strangers which are difficult to hook up with as we get older when you can find a couple that we all click with and learn to trust, open up with each other and know that everyone will have an exciting and memorable time.
We are glad that you have had a positive experiance and scored with a large number of bedmates. Some people have different desires.
But thanks for your comments.

Thanks Mayham
Well, the one thing about the LS is everyone has their own preferences. We do have alot of LS friends but it seems the LS friends we have known for years seem to be staying away from any play times. We have fun get togethers but most also live to far away to get together very often. In viewing your profile your on a total different page than we are. We have been in the LS for over 20 years, played with a fair amount of other people but as we get older interest seems to dwindle.
If sex with total strangers is your bag we fully respect that, but notches on a bed post is not our focus. Finding FWB over SEX WITH STRANGERS at our age is getting to be a challenge. If your just looking for one and done that's your perogative and more power to you.
Having FWB that can spend time together on a frequent basis doing adventures together whether it be sexual play or just enjoying each other's company in vanilla adventures leaves a more satisfying experiance. People that want to see how many conquests they can rack up is fine but some of us old folks enjoy more that just being a number.
We know this is not everyone's preference and fully respect that.
Our search for exclusitivity is very recent, only just posted on our profile. We know couples that are exclusive to each other and they are extremely happy with the situation.
We are not against playing the field but at this point in life it's more about safety, respect, getting to know each others fantasy and this takes more than one or two get togethers. Nothing is more satisfying that being able to totally blow a couples mind by getting to know them and learn what they crave.
While we have had some great one time adventures we have also had some disaster. Why take the chance on a totally bad experiance with strangers which are difficult to hook up with as we get older when you can find a couple that we all click with and learn to trust, open up with each other and know that everyone will have an exciting and memorable time.
We are glad that you have had a positive experiance and scored with a large number of bedmates. Some people have different desires.
But thanks for your comments.

cooltwo65 - Not saying this is the case but your profile seems to indicate that you already have a number of lifestyle (LS) friends and are now looking for a couple or SF to be more exclusive with. It could just be me misinterpreting what I'm reading, but it's possible that you have scared some people off that waded through your profile after making initial contact and made the same observation I did.

I think it's safe to say that the majority of people get into the LS because they enjoy variety. If so, anything that leans towards an exclusive arrangement could be cause for concern. Just a thought.

Otherwise, except for the exclusive part, we enjoy the same sort of things and would reach out to you if we lived close by.

Here in SE Wisconsin there seems to be a shortage of senior swingers who are actually active. Everytime we show interest they turn into ghosts. We do not understand how people think this is sexy. Why even bother being on a swinger website? Just a bunch of total flakes.
Seems most seniors that do respond are looking for one night stands and want sex on the first meeting. Where is the romance, the sexy build up, the wanting to get to know one another before jumping into the sack.
Getting together as friends with benefits for vanilla adventures along with LS play is attractive and regarding. People we can be adults with that have lots of life experiances.
Just amazes us that there are not more interested seniors that want to interact together.

They have retired & moved south. I wasn't staying up in that snow & ice mess if I didn't absolutely have to. Thankfully I didn't have to.

I might have to move to Florida for a while sounds like there's more opportunities for Soft Swingers.

We can,t find any soft swingers near us...
Metro Philly.....

We have given up looking. It’s dry as a desert in our area for seniors. It used to be easy to find other couples that wanted to get together for happy hour drinks, or maybe dinner. People sure have changed. When we write to other couples 99.9% of the time you never hear anything back. Guess when you treat the life style as a hobby, and you’re not part of the cliques it makes it even harder. Now we only jump on here to see if by chance someone has reached out to us.