Getting mad!

mayhem, What you say is true! But, also, you may click on line, and then meet and say no way! LOL And we like it when you perv our profile, perv away! :)

Hedo - Though we still do the online thing, as you probably saw, parties are the way to go. People that you may not click with online may have a different outcome if you meet in person. We will gladly perv your profile btw just for giggles, but then, we'd definitely be up for meeting again so that may not apply ;-)

We've been told, Never happen, not in a million years. But I've noticed they keep perving our profile, go figure! LMAO

Love reading these responses. We would agree that one has to have a thick skin, everyone is different with their likes and dislikes, someone might not be some ones cup of tea for what reason, wife isn't hot enough, Husband has a beard, Husband not tall enough, Wife isn't Bi, Not a hot couple (in their eyes), Hillbilly's, Wrong skin color, For what ever reason. It happens to us more often then not! But remember their is someone for everyone.

We pretty much never get mad from ghosting anymore because we rarely ever go that far out of our way to meet someone new. Where we can host and our preference would be to play at our house rather than a hotel, we'll either meet there are at one of the 3 restaurants within 6 miles of our house. So, worst case for a no show is we went out to eat at a nearby restaurant, all of which we like.

Easier said than done for many, but getting mad also serves no useful purpose so there's no point in doing it just because you weren't someone's cup of tea. It isn't like after getting mad they're going to say, "Oh gee, I see you're really angry so we decided to meet now." I can also guarantee that you'd now actually avoid that angry person/couple whenever and wherever possible.

That being said, I would much rather get a response like "My wife thinks you're fat and I think your wife looks funny" than the people who make plans to meet you and then ghost. I'll take rejection every time, even if it's rude.

We have been told no a few times. WE have also respectfully declined. We are very polite and we understand if couples do not want to play with us. We feel it is better to decline respectfully and give no specific reason. We just say thanks you seem like a great couple although you may not be right for us. Good luck in your search and have fun.

re: Rejection - I too like to try to give people reasons, but it doesn't take too many of those types of responses before you just refuse to give reasons. Something like, "When I've done that in the past, no good has come from it so I'd rather just respectfully leave it as we don't think we're a match". Maybe throw in the, "We wish you luck and happy hunting" thing.

That said, I haven't been burnt enough times to not give a reason for the types of things you mentioned. To really get a better understanding of this, one has to go through the process from BOTH sides of the fence. If someone has never rejected someone for any reason, they don't have that perspective. The first time someone reaches out to you and one or both of you say, "No freaking way!", you'll definitely have a better grasp on this and your skin will get a little thicker in the process.

We told a couple that we just didn't think we were a good fit a while back, they asked politely why not and so I responded that their photos were different enough that it could be of different people, the things they were looking for didn't really fit our desires (same room watching- not swapping) and that he was shorter than my wife prefers and because of the distance between us that we weren't willing to travel to see if our assumptions were correct.

They were furious.

WWO, too many crazies out there.

Basic tenet if one chooses to engage in this lifestyle.

Women Rule and NO means NO. So, move along snowflake

The End

People click together or they don't. We have all been in that situation. Many times for me. Once I was showing a vacant store for rent. I met the woman outside and as I walked up to meet her our eyes met and we both knew we are going to do it. At her home the next night. Another 9 1/2 weeks affair. She didn't rent the store. Too bad I would have to collect the rent each month.

No still means no, and it doesn't have to be taken offensively. There are a multitude of reasons why a couple may not want to play, so you just can't take it personally. If their ego is that sensitive they may be playing in the wrong sandbox.

My take on it is that your wife's intuition and lack of comfort with him was dead on accurate....good for her!

As somebody mentioned already, there are more "No thank you's" then "Yes's". We never ask why not? although we are tempted! Rejection is hard for some people to handle. I know when we started attending the LS clubs, we expected it to be a lot more of a free for all than it is. Then we realized that all the cliques, prejudices and odd ball thinking we see in the vanilla world is still present in the LS, just a smaller group of people.

We have noticed one thing, though. We can chat for a long time with a couple and think everything will be moved to a private room only to be told, "No". Very disheartening. Then as it gets after midnight, people are maybe a little more loose with their requirements. We joke that when in the play area, if it's late, it's dark, people are a little tipsy, and a little bit horny anything goes. We've had as many spur of the moment connections as we have had quiet conversations that then moved to fun.

We always go to a club with no expectations so we are not disappointed. If we connect, great. If not, we will have our own fun.

We are looking for a senior couple

I hear that from time to time . I have also told couples that I do not think we are right fir for for playing. Has to feel Right! we all cant fell like playing for the sake of playing

Thanks to all of you for you encouraging comments!

I would say that it is confirmation that the wife was right in paying attention to her discomfort.

Here is the simple truth. “No thank you” is more common than “yes!” . Do not think of it as rejection. Think of it as the gift of new opportunities.

Rejection is hard, but people need to realize that there are others that they may also be uninterested in/uncomfortable with.

We have been there ourselves on both sides of that fence and don't want people to feel bad/mad if that happens. By getting angry you've not only lost any chance of playing, but also ruled out any chance of just being friends.

It is a small LS world and we try to do what we reasonably can to not alienate people, but sometimes it just can't be helped.

I would totally ignore them and their message.....give it no air.

We attended a party earlier this year at a on premises club. An older male and female approach us to play. The wife and I spoke and she did not feel comfortable with him. My wife came right out and told him she was not comfortable with him. They left but very mad. Surprised how people get so mad when others do not want to play with them. We always took no as no! A few weeks later we receive an email from them stating that we were all FU because my wife did not want to play with him. What is your take on this.