Wife swung with me for 5 years before health issues. On the way home from our first overnight swap we talked openly about things we would have never dared to before. Interesting when you feel that honest with each other. We talked about our friends and which one we had dreamed of fucking. Wife's choices totally blew my mind.. Was most open honest 5 years of our 24 year marriage..
The openness & honesty that swinging requires brings us closer. Working to modulate our socially-imposed reactions, opening ourselves to seeing each other fulfill fantasies, sharing hot moments & marvelous adventures, brings us closer together. It is hard work, but it is well worth it, & the shared hard work bring us closer together. Two night ago, I kissed my wife as she was fucking another man; it was so thrilling to see another person desire & please her. After we got home, we had a very hot session together & felt closer for the experience....
BTW Juicy and, the truth in my view is that swinging is definitely not right for everyone. So my experience and those of others may not hold for you. In any case you are definitely asking a good question.
In my marriage and previous long relationship with the same partner (all monogamous) we had a harder time talking about sex (desires, jealousy, fantasies, etc.) than anything else. Over the years it led to familiar patterns, avoidance of conflicts ultimately leading to avoidance of sex.
As my former wife (a wonderfully insightful person) put it, sexual intimacy is the glue that holds together a marriage through the hard times. I might say it's the tempering agent that keeps a relationship from becoming brittle. Any way you want to express it, good communication is key for any successful relationship and particularly a non monogamous relationship. (Caution: as one post pointed out an uncommunicative non monogamous relationship is definitely possible, just not sustainable). Great communication about sex can lead in my view to more sex between partners and a more satisfying overall relationship. I think it also leads to more trust that well intended honesty on other topics will be met with openness rather than defensiveness. I still manage to be a dork a lot of the time and say stupid things but I can usually explain and or apologize my way out of them. So far my sweetie still finds me worth the trouble. Or as she says "Adorkable".
Hope my insights from my own experience can help with your question.
My wife and I said the same thing to each other after our first experience, which was just same room sex. We felt like it brought us closer.
I agree with what others have said - the communication and the fact you can admit to each other what you want/desire without there being any funny feelings or jealously. Another important thing to consider is that you are experiencing a pretty huge life moment together. It's a whirlwind of emotions and sensory overload, and it's not exactly something that a lot of people have experienced that are in our inner circle, so that common-bond is also part of it.
Spot on advice from the previous two posters. I will just reiterate that what makes you feel closer is the level of trust and communication that swinging requires.
It does present a chicken/egg debate because if you don't have trust and communication first, you are doomed to fail. But if you do and you continue to share your feelings (good and bad) after each experience, swinging can deepen the bonds
~Scamp
Based on my own experience and that of the many couples I've observed who do find that swinging makes them closer, communication - the ability to be unvarnished about your deepest desires and fears - is a key. If you're really seen in those areas and still loved, it's harder to sweat the small stuff or see an argument about who takes out the trash as indicative of lack of love or appreciation.
Relationships can feel full of microaggressions (that are mostly misunderstandings, but still) and while swinging isn't a magic eraser, if you have a partner who carries you to the shower and washes large amounts of other people's bodily fluids out of your hair while crooning endearments at you, it's kinda tough to be pissy the next time he does something a little clueless. And encouraging him to have sex with other women and then telling him how hot it was to watch? He's going to feel pretty loved too.
So, the short answer is better communication and frequent, unmistakable expressions of love.
It can bring you closer and it can destroy a relationship. If there are any issues in your relationship do not swing to fix them. Fix them and then swing. Every couple has a variance on motivations with some commonalities. Just be 100% on the same page with how you all are going to play and be sure to constantly communicate. There is not anything unusual or wrong with taking a break to reexamine things.
Constant communication is key when growing closer together, swinging or not. We have come to understand one another more deeply and have sought to help one another go after what we enjoy. There is something about doing something for your spouse and being with them that only happens when swinging. It can easily be seen as another level of intimacy.
We always read or hear others say how swinging makes them closer. I am not sure I can relate (wife here) can someone explain how it can make a couple closer? Please be kind with your comments Thank you
