Snoody People

Both are true.

"They are swingers. And you are experiencing what swinging has become. Phony people who go to clubs not to have casual sex with other people for fun but to post on Facebook to their millions of friends that they have never met. They might have sex with just their little group and no one else. This is not swinging. Welcome to the lifestyle"

"Dragon, I read your post, I read your profile, I looked at your photos...personally, I dont see any problem YOU could be presenting, after 16 yrs in the lifestyle, I have developed the attitude that it isnt so much a matter of you being an asshole, or the other person/couple being an asshole, the real question should be: are they OUR kind of assholes? LOL- an observation from a fellow asshole."

They are swingers. And you are experiencing what swinging has become. Phony people who go to clubs not to have casual sex with other people for fun but to post on Facebook to their millions of friends that they have never met.

They might have sex with just their little group and no one else. This is not swinging.

Welcome to the lifestyle

Dragon, I read your post, I read your profile, I looked at your photos...personally, I dont see any problem YOU could be presenting, after 16 yrs in the lifestyle, I have developed the attitude that it isnt so much a matter of you being an asshole, or the other person/couple being an asshole, the real question should be: are they OUR kind of assholes? LOL- an observation from a fellow asshole.

"without being an arrogant asshole such as myself"

There might be the key to the whole post right there...

It might garner better results if you don't characterize people as better than thou or as clichés or snooty. I know that sounds judgmental, but that's not how I mean it. If at every encounter with every person, you're friendly without making any sort of assumptions about who they are, what they're thinking, or their probable responses, there is a better than decent chance for a conversation. Or so I've found.

If you're getting way too many frozen responses, you might want to think about whether you're doing the work of gauging receptivity. For a lot of us it's reflexive, but you may not be one of those people. Before I initiate a conversation with anyone, I look at them and wait for them to look back. Then I smile. If I get some sort of pleasant facial response in return, then I say something. It's very fast, maybe two seconds total, but that might be upping my percentage of positive interactions and it's an easily learned skill set.

We don't encounter that too often. It's usually not hard (for us, anyway) to gauge how long people want us to hang around. Occasionally it's people who clearly want to be left alone, either by just us or by everyone.

What can you possibly hope to do about it?

Lots of fish in the sea...

How do you approach the "Better than thou" swingers without being an arrogant asshole such as myself?
The swingers at clubs you walk up too and introduce yourself "Hey I am so and so, this is my wife...." and they literally look and ignore you? We are running into so many of these social "Cliches" at swinger clubs and we like to meet new people. But we are far from snoody and don't mind a conversation even with those we may not be attracted to.