Paying for college

Natural, I always believe in making peace before going to war. Everybody saves money by making peace. Try it!

I talked to an attorney yesterday for nearly an hour. He really took the time to explain the law and that my ex filed the wrong forms. I did feel better after talking with him.

I really appreciate all your advice and support.

Every state is different on divorce law, child support, etc. I know nothing about TX law, but in the state where I got divorced (not FL) you could go to the state.gov web site and it very clearly stated all the rules and guidelines for divorced couples with children. Any given judge might stray slightly from that based on circumstances, but for the most part, even the judge is bound pretty closely to the state guidelines.

That is a long story to say, do your own homework before spending money on an attorney. You might find it is very "cut and dried" in writing at TX.gov or whatever you state government website may be.

Assuming you and your ex are reasonable people, you can follow the state guidelines with no legal fees or extra drama involved.

My two cents.

Thank you all for the advice. It's all been greatly appreciated. I've been on the phone calling several different law firms, hoping one of them will call me back soon.

Melissa, if you're in a position to do so, a high priced family law litigator might be your best bet to shove this nonsense back down your ex's throat. The bad thing about that solution is the cost, the good thing is that the situation will be over pretty quickly.

I'd start with Lane Powell or Lasher, Holzapfel.

So, the site I read on Washington (take internet advice with a huge gain of sand) is that he would have to file to amend the decree. So, filing that you are in contempt is an invalid claim. He would have to file to amend the divorce decree, then you would have to respond to that. His argument would have to be that the child is still a dependent for the majority of their living expenses, meaning not yet legal adult status. Then the costs would be proportioned based on relative incomes of the parents.

Definitely sounds like he's attempting to bully you - if he was serious he'd have an attorney. Don't have any contact with him except through an attorney.

I set up an appointment with a lawyer in Texas, but I need to talk to a WA lawyer instead.

Looked up my final parenting plan online and there is NOTHING in the plan about postsecondary education. I also saw that he filed a contempt motion on me. He's also representing himself without an attorney. I think he's trying to bully me into paying.

What 's wife said. Internet can be okay for super high level "Is there a leg to stand on". You almost certainly need to talk to talk to a lawyer in Washington.

Internet legal research is like Internet medical research - you will make yourself sick with all the horrible possibilities. Contact a WA lawyer for advice about your particular case. I'd start with a family law attorney in the county where your divorce was made final.

Unfortunately Washington appears to be a state that may compel you to contribute but that doesn't mean your ex will get what he's threatening to sue you for. If you are compelled to pay then see if your contributions can be made directly to the school for tuition or dorm/meal plan rather than paid to your ex or child.

You may be able to get a short (1 hour or less) consultation for free - please contact someone today.

Keeping you in our prayer!

~Phoebert's Wife

AZ-so it's saying that parents can be forced to pay college expenses until they're 22?

Washington? Oh, you're fucked, and not in the good way.

"Washington law is very clear on this point. Unless there are exceptional circumstances (which are defined by statute as mental, physical, or emotional disabilities), Washington judges can't order parents to pay postsecondary educational support beyond the child's twenty-third birthday."

AZ-I appreciate the information. The divorce took place in Washington State.

family findlaw com / child-support/college-expenses-and-child-support-faq ht ml

"As a general matter, most educational expense issues are addressed during the divorce process itself, along with other child support issues. However, when there is no agreement in place, the obligation of divorced parents to pay for their child's college expenses will depend on the state."

If the divorce was in texas, I found this on a google search for Texas divorce college expense.

"As currently stated in the Texas Family Code, parents are only required to make child support payments until their children reach their 18th birthday or graduate from high school. Therefore, a parent cannot be legally forced to pay college expenses for a child over the age of 18."

AZ-I did read about that a couple months ago when I first started researching. Thank you!

Here is my understanding.

SCotUS ruled that you can't be forced to pay support or expenses for a legal adult.

When I got divorced in Colorado, supported ended on the 19th bday. I was like, what? That's Unconstitutional since under CO law, they are legal adults at 18. The lawyers were like "yep", but until enough Colorado parents chip in the half-million or more it takes to get a case to SCotUS, the law will remain in effect.

Some states altered the definition of "legal adult" to be like 22, not a full time student or no longer financial dependent on someone else. This resulted in a nasty case where a girl that lived with people not her parents was going to college, and sued both her non-divorced parents for college costs.

google: 21-Year-Old Sues Parents for College Tuition — and Wins

SO, the answer is, it almost certainly depends on the definition of "legal adult" in the state where you got divorced.

Got it! Thank you!

Natural, stay away from the Lawyers. Tell your EX shape up or you will drop a dime on him with the I R S. Lawyers get you nowhere, I have been there, done that.

Natural, what does your daughter say about all of this? She has the power. If your EX has more money than you he should be willing to pay it all and look good to his daughter. It is all up to your daughter. Your EX might be trying to be an S O B. I have 4 Ivy League graduates from the Boston area. I had a war because my EX, she was a real ass hole. It was not a question of money it was a question of her POWER. These situations are awful.

GGMM-nope not possible. He really is not nice, a real shyster. He is a snake in the grass, a wolf in sheep's clothing.

I'm definitely going to seek an attorney's advice. I was just curious what others might think about it. Thank you!

Heh. He can present as many huge bills as he likes, until he completely runs out of asshole points, if that's possible, but I'm pretty sure even a halfway decent attorney will be able to help you. I mean, yeah, he can sue, because anyone can sue anyone else, but that doesn't mean he'll prevail.

I'm assuming you've checked your divorce decree and found the absence of an obligation, so you're certain you're on firm ground, and then check in with a good family law specialist.

Also, you're right. He really is mean.

Get an attorney, and one who is a real junk yard dog. Regrettably these situations never end nicely. You may need to counter sue or at least threaten. Just make sure child knows it is not about her, it is between the parents. Good luck!

I'm not against helping my daughter with her college expenses. I spent a lot of money on college visits to Rice, Vanderbilt, and Duke her junior year. My issue is that he shut her out of my life her senior year and didn't include me in any decision making, and then presented me with a huge bill for college. Now he's threatening to sue me.

Well, you're probably in luck then. I mean, yeah, see an attorney, but I don't believe you can be held financially responsible for something to which you did not agree and which exceeds your actual legal responsibility.

It's actually my ex who is threatening to sue me.