@Melvin
Stop worrying so much about controlling others' behaviors.
Mayhem is right. Your approach is thinking binary. It is either they like SMs or they do not. Well sorry man . . . life is not that way. It is nuanced.
There have been times I have been at parties and there is a woman that for the last five years and 20 parties did nothing for me, but that night, wow, something happened and I am interested.
One problem with that approach is that sometimes people change their minds. In April they may not be interested in SMs, and are thinking that they'll never change. Then in October they talk to a guy who they both REALLY like as a person and playmate, and start thinking that maybe they should talk about adjusting their desires. It happens, and you'll need to consider whether it's in your best interest to take the less flexible route. That's a personal thing and I wouldn't criticize you for that.
I could care less if I was politely told someone was not interested or even 'go to Hell' or 'fuck you.' I notate as such on their profile and carry on. My issue is those that respond to say they are not interested in single males, but yet directly contradict what they have told me, with their own actions of encounters with single males from that future point of telling me they were not interested in single males. Right there is their 'lie' and I notate as such on their profile.
I do those notes that in case random encounters with those liars happen at events and we each swap SLS screen names and that note reminds me of that person or couple's lie to me, that what they are presenting themselves as right in front of me, is a lie. If such encounter were to happen and my note on their profile says that they are a liar, in that conversation with such party, 99% I would not mention the note, but would politely close out the conversation and say that there was not enough interest on my part. If for some reason in that 1% encounter and in that moment, that person or couple needed to hear the blunt truth, I would simply explain that there was messaging between us previously and that they said one thing, but had been documented as doing other. I would then state that I am not interested in those that contradict themselves, politely wish them well and walk away with my head held high.
It is personal experience from being emotionally beat down most of my life, especially in the work place, that has taught me to stand up and be direct with people. I have shot straight with people since walking away from a true, narcissistic boss in 2016. The narcissistic abuse, recovery and coming back stronger is why I am up front with people.
If people in the lifestyle choose to be a liar and muck their own life up because they cannot remember what they've said to whom, that is their decision. I choose to not be part of that negativity.
We don't worry about the little white lies told to avoid upsetting someone. It's the "absolutely bullshit" lies that get me pissed.
99% of those are usually from singles.
Melvin,
Have you considered that the couples may have been trying to spare your feelings? Would have preferred they say, “We enjoy single males but not YOU!”?
We get approached a lot by single males traveling to New Orleans and will often reply we don’t play with out of town guys as a polite way to decline but we may accept that invitation if rabbit likes what she sees.
Their little fib isn’t why single males have a bad reputation, the bigger problem for most guys is they are married and on here as a single. That is a much bigger lie in our opinion.
~Scamp
Eroticamazon we have pictures, and they used to be shown, but my wife one is a larger woman and uncomfortable with that being our profile picture, 2nd she's been through breast cancer the last 18 months so again not all that comfortable with pictures, we most certainly will offer pictures to people we chat with and things get. More friendly, but by no means is our lack of a picture indicating us being untruthful, not sure how you made that connection in your head
I've been lied to by couple's saying they were not interested in single males. Yet, within a few days or well after, had certifications from single males that indicated intercourse took place, immediately after or well after the couple said to me that they were not interested in single males. These certifications were most definitely after the couples said to me they were not interested in single men. That is a blatant lying couple and I've notated as such on their profile.
I've had couples block me, after only rightly done by me, by calling them out on their lie and stating that their actions of lying is exactly why single men have a bad rap in the lifestyle. It was those couples that I did not care either way if they blocked me or not after calling them out on their lie.
So we have been active select swingers well over 30 years ...way before we were on SLS.. back in the day it was word of mouth but we have noticed since on SLS and the closing down of "CL sex end".. many are now here on SLS.. we catch more liars, cheating people and even couples that the wife has no clue they are on SLS since that has happened.
Like many said be honest so we can deal with it and let us decide.. we assure you we will find out as its ones business for well over 35 years to seek the truth.. and ones identity if you know what web sites to look at...and all are public records .. Yes its what we do !
Well, there's lying and there's lying. Using a benign yet untrue excuse to say no, in an effort to avoid offering offense is just one of the little white lies that we all tell as part of being civilized human beings.
On the other hand, there's "I'm not married, I just like wearing a ring on my right hand, plus I just got tested so I don't need the condom, and I totally won't cum in your mouth". Different animal entirely.
I understand what the op is saying but most people can't handle the truth. FACT lol.
This is 100% being snarky and sarcastic.
You have a topic of lying but no pictures.
While I recognize the original poster's post as a rant, I fully support the notion. There are liars in the lifestyle; I personally am victim to that and have notated on the profiles of those that have lied to me, so I do not deal with them in the future. With notating on the profiles of those that have lied to me, lets me know of they are people that do not have positive frames of mind. I choose to not be part of those mental ideals.
why does it seem so many people in the lifestyle lie?
Why can't people just be honest
Things people lie about and its not necessary
Their weight
Their couple status
Their interest in playing, or not playing
Things they do or won't do
We have had do many people over 18 years who tell us stuff right to our face, and later it's proved a lie, if you're not interested just say so, don't make up some lie about it, then excuses when its found out you lied.
Example i have asked women to play and been told " no I can't I am on my period " only to see them play with someone else 20 min later, WTF if not interested just say " no thanks " and move on, that's just one example. I could give dozens, and when i am honest with people they sometimes get paissed off. I just do not understand why its do hard to be upfront and honest in the lifestyle
