Let's be real. No response from a stranger is a pretty damn good indicator they aren't attracted. Nobody could possible glean so much information from one message or even a profile that they determine you aren't compatible or aren't what they are looking for.
No responses from a lot of people is a good indicator you just aren't attractive period. Sucks. but let's be real.
Just because someone doesn’t respond to your message it doesn’t mean that they find you unattractive. Many times it simply means you are not what he, she or they are looking for. I’ve met plenty of females who I found attractive but still had no interest in playing with them. If I message someone and don’t get a response, I just assume I’m not what they are looking for and move on. It’s not uncommon in the lifestyle for someone to be looking for something or someone very specific. Try not to take no responses too personal. You might be missing out on a great connection while worrying about who didn’t get back to you.
"Is_it_us_or_what?"
Yes, it's you, not what.
Nope, a response is not always appropriate. Not sorry, but far too many people are sending messages out there who are so far out of what we're obviously looking for that they're wasting my time and theres.
Want to throw a box of darts at a board hoping 1 sticks? Good luck but not a game i will play. I spent the 1st 2 years as a sf on here and omg, 90% of people who messaged me were obviously not a fit and i got tired of responding 100% of the time.
A decade out of my age range? Don't even live in my state? My profile is very deliberately written. If you don't obviously fit my parameters, why? People have the right to message anyone they please. Everyone has the right to choose whether or not to respond. Don't be so demanding. Maybe the ones who don't respond, you don't fit what their looking for and if you had bothered to read their profile, you'd have known that.
Let me know what you are doing to get a response rate that high. I could play in the MLB with that average.
First off, thanks to everyone for responding to the post. I did get some pointers and will probably make some changes. I did not, in fact, realize that 3 out of 12 was considered a good response on here. Secondly, my wife did write 99% of the profile and we don't care if people don't want to "fuck us". That's their right and we don't take offense to that. However, we still do think a response is appropriate to everyone (granted, we don't get hundreds) but we do respond to all of ours. As of today, we have found more partners at work, in the community and even at church than we have here. Just saying. Take it for what it's worth. Again, thanks to everyone for replying, no matter what the reply was... brutal or not...lol.
Completely sober here! And I don't take back anything. I call a spade a spade and when you post in the open forum rather than the other more appropriate forums, expect to be called out brutally. I just may not have put it exactly as gently as others. Then again, the OP's use of "fucktard" in their opening paragraph isn't the best way to get in most people's good graces right off the bat.
To add more specificity to my statement and more to Wayne's point, the profile reads like a married guy trying to find a piece on the side. But the married guy is pretending to be the wife so that it seems like a legitimate hall pass. And for all I know, it may be. But the first impression is not that of an experienced couple, comfortable in their relationship where each is allowed to play on their own.
And for what it's worth, folks crying about non-responses is just lame and a sign of society. First off, why get offended when someone you have zero fucking clue about doesn't respond? Secondly, why don't y'all put in the work to find folks to play with rather than blame everyone else for not coming to you? As with society, many expect (insert pretty much any noun here) to be handed to them, play partners included. People used to be proud of accomplishing a goal rather than whine that the goal wasn't handed to them on a silver platter.
In short there's the right to one percent that has Perfect Ten bodies and everyone wants to fuck them. For the other 99 percent, we're normal people with normal bodies. It just means we've got to put a touch more work into getting laid.
Another "Why won't EVERYONE fuck us?" post! Or said another way "I demand EVERYONE respond to my/our messages!" While we do try to respond to most messages, we don't respond to all. And we have tons of messages that have never been responded to. Guess what? We. Don't. Care.
In short, your profile is horribly off putting. Given that, I'd say pat yourself on the back for getting at least 25% to respond. It reads like it was written by the male to read as if from the female. You overy stress that it the woman writing which in and of itself is a red flag. And while I don't judge on looks alone, having a decent cover pic that's at least halfway in focus would help.
Age becomes an issue in your 60's sorry to say.....
Your profile comes off as pretty negative. It's not doing you guys any favors, as someone else mentioned, you already have a few things that aren't helping.
"The "not interested" is not a problem but as a human being I think everyone deserves to be acknowledged and a response. Are people really that busy?"
I'm glad you think everyone deserves to be acknowledged. So, you go do that.
I do not believe everyone deserves acknowledgment. That comes from a lifetime of being importuned by boys and men who believe they're entitled to a response, no matter what.
Also, you use the word fucktard pretty much as an opener, so I would give it better than even odds that saying thanks no thanks would have you asking why, as if that also deserved a response.
Also, if you use the word "fucktard" in the first sentence of your profile, you probably need a rewrite...
"To get 4 people to agree on where to eat is hard, can you imagine what it takes for 4 people to agree to have sex with each other?"
Probably the best summation of the lifestyle ever written.
If you expect a particular responses, you are bound to be disappointed 9 out of 12 times...
As Allen stated 3 out of 12 is pretty good. Our best respond ratio was 1 out of about 23 and that was to tell us no.
Let’s be real here, and I don’t mean to be mean, insensitive or insulting. Your profile and pics aren’t what most will be searching for. Your age world against you. Your height and weight work against you. Your wife being a smoker works against you. It is what is . That is the nature of online dating.
Maybe take a walk over to Better Profiles and ask for a profile critique. Go searching for Velma, her advice is usually spot on and can help. Anything that. An improve and make your profile standout can help.
You would be both best served by attending events, takeovers, clubs; that way you can allow your personality to come through. Just remember that the LifeStyle is all about rejection. To get 4 people to agree on where to eat is hard, can you imagine what it takes for 4 people to agree to have sex with each other?
Patience...
<p>As 888 said, 3 out of 12 is pretty good. I also noticed that your Tagline stated that your wife was taking a break and you are playing solo. That might be why many are ignoring you, as people generally do not like couple profiles contacting them as singles. I updated your profile to a single male for you. When your wife returns, please let me know.</p>
<p>Customer Service - Wayne</p>
Hang in there. These are very tough times and people have a lot to deal with while we all wait for the new normal. Don't give up and keep trying.
Yes! That’s what it is!
Just kidding! :-)
3 of 12 is a pretty good ratio, it seems. Sadly, not everyone will share your ethics.
~Allen
is our profile or our pics so repulsive that we only rate a response from 3 out of 12 messages? I know that no response = not interested. But it shouldn't be that way. The "not interested" is not a problem but as a human being I think everyone deserves to be acknowledged and a response. Are people really that busy? Done ranting for now..lol.
