has anyone had a bad experience

We were greeted with"Fresh Meat!!!" We left without going thru the door. Fuck'em.

Houston, I respectfully disagree about his control of the situation. I have the utmost respect for my wife’s choices and decision making, however, there are times I realize my role as her husband is to protect her. Instead of “ tell her what you have for her, and by the way do you even know HER name?, or did you ask”, the response should’ve been “what the fuck did you just say about my wife?” Instead of “ she is free to do whatever she wants to do, but she is not free to do whatever YOU want to do.” he should’ve said “another peep to either one of us and I’ll knock your fucking teeth out”. That’s how you control the situation with a bully, not by hiding behind your wife.

CoolJoe9 - You walked into what has been referred to as a "sausage fest". It is OK if that's how the party is billed and what you are looking for, but not cool otherwise.

Also, something that should be a standard at any LS party is there will be clean fitted sheets available and regular mattresses will have some sort of waterproof mattress pad/cover for under the fitted sheet. If it was obvious to us going in that those didn't exiist, the Mrs would be like, "Yeah, we're out of here." She's not a clean freak, but she does expect a certain standard of cleanliness.

She is likewise turned off if the bathrooms haven't been cleaned. We won't just up and leave if that's the case, but will be less likely to go back to a party where she feels things are dirty. She ALWAYS cleans our bathrooms before any party we have, and we have a vested interest in protecting the regular mattresses on our guest beds. Especially since we also have friends and family that sleep over at times, not to mention our own bed.

We have had very few bad experiences in general, but these have had more to do with a couple or an individual rather than at a party/event level.

As you get into the lifestyle things like this happen . You did right you remained in control of your situation .
We have had experiences like this and did exactly as you did . Chalk it up as a learning experience.

Thanks SLS family for all of your responses. Made us feel more comfortable being able to share our story.

Well, I have only been to a few places where a woman hasn't touched me without asking. Generally, a solid "Excuse, Me!?? When did you ask permisssion?!!" or "NO" works and most of the time. When it boils down to it everything is on the host(s) to be sure everyone knows what the ground rules are. Like RK has said, you need to ask some basic questions like what are the party rules, what happens to people who break them, etc. Most good clubs or parties will toss people out without batting an eye for breaking the rules.

But, with clubs and parties you really can never know how many newbies and sexual tourists may be filtering through. This would be true of most anywhere like Vegas, the places mentioned in FL, and then many of the easy to find clubs in Europe. We have no problem with single males, but when no one minds the ratio or more importantly who those men are then it can always cause problems. The average newbie/ sexual tourist whether single guy or couple assumes a myriad of things that just don't match up with reality. The most common is that they assume it is an orgy and everyone plays with everyone. Now they won't even bother most days to pretend the rules they have read and the tour of the club they got means anything. Their fantasy will over-ride it until someone is able to give them a very firm refusal and then explain to them what they did wrong.

Your experience is unusual at all. We have been into a few that were worse. One in particular completely misrepresented itself and was one of the more bizarre scenarios we have ever seen. In short: the "upscale" playrooms had really old stained mattresses without any sheets or anything on them and as we attempted to escape out the door an old guy wearing nothing but his depends put the moves on me. It can always be worse and you can never be 100% sure what you will find especially when you travel. Just don't be afraid to simply turn around when you don't like a place. Also, when a polite and firm answer doesn't work Mr. Blue will simply ask if a guy wants to wear a cast to work on Monday.

MsMolly,

We love Trapeze for a lot of reasons, however your experience was not an anomaly. While single guys have generally learned to ask, many couples assume that particular rule doesn’t apply to them, especially if the woman is initiating contact. We’ve both been pulled into rooms by people who hadn’t asked. Unfortunately, my wife’s “no” is nothing as unambiguous as yours, thats just not her personality. She avoids the dance floor by herself and in general sticks close to my side the whole night.

We’ve lived in south Florida. It is an expensive, competitive area of the country. Aggressive, dog eat dog attitudes tend to prevail in a way that would shock most Midwestern folk. Those attitudes seem to be carried into the swing clubs.

The other thing with Trap is that they get a lot of sexual tourists. Often newbies, they walk into the back rooms, see sex happening everywhere, and assume they can join in anywhere they please.

I have to confess that we’ve not always discouraged the unasked participation. There have been times when, sexually drunk, and particularly amidst the mass of writhing bodies in the orgy room, we’ve welcomed the stray hands and mouths.

We never felt threatened. But agree with others, if a party is not working, cut your losses and leave.

At the beginning of 2020, I went to South Florida for a week. As part of that, I went to Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale with a local escort. Not one, not two, but three different couples touched me without asking either one of us if it was okay, in one case quite intimately but in all cases in a way that was intrusive. My escort and I had talked about what to do in the event someone asked to participate, but that wasn't covered because it's just not done.

I have a solid, unmistakable no. I do not smile, I do not pretend transgressions are no big deal, I just say no. In this case, followed by a short course in why asking permission is an excellent idea and touching without it is a terrible one. I would have said yes if asked, but absent permission, touching me once meant never touching me again. It was fine, but I was also shocked and some of the pleasure was sucked out of my evening.

I've also been assaulted several times on the dance floor at a different swing club by women who didn't think the rules applied to them.

I wonder how much of that was the “Vegas vacation” factor. We’ve been in situations like the one you describe except for the disrespectful dude. Clearly, no one was minding the store.

You are right, if it feels creepy, get out. We’ve done what you did, trying to wait to see if things improve. They rarely do.

Wow.. never for "us" we check out all parties and who is attending in advance of going including event venues.. you will see some are not for you including the people attending.

Now with that said.. take it as a learning experience and enjoy swinging and make it YOUR journey and YOU control how, why and what you do.. Yes we have learned from several bad experiences but now VET all events, people, and who and what we do. We even had a bad time at the ATL. Trapeze from some "Male Grouper in a couple " as we walked in and onto the dance floor.. it was immediately rectified!

Swinging has its ups and downs.. try and get your own group or several FWB who you can trust... its well worth it!

so the Mr. and i were in Vegas for the weekend (go Raiders). Was invited to a pool party celebrating Leo's (happy bday to the Mr.). The party was from 5:00 PM until 3:00 AM. Upon our arrival (roughly 9:45) rang the doorbell and heard a yell "come in!". Was the host laying on the couch saying she was too tired to get up and greet us, because she had been on her feet all day (this was our first experience with this group). Was given a tour of the property which had 3 playrooms in which i was skeptical about walking on the beds, let alone sitting or laying on them. let me note that inside the living room were 4 men and 2 women who must have been helping out the host. Was than taken to the pool area i must admit the scenery was nice had 3 cabanas with beds, and a fourth canopy with an air mattress. one fella was in the pool alone, the occupants of the first cabana was 6 men, the second cabana was 2 women, the third was 4 men, along with 2 or 3 other men scattered about. We have been part of this lifestyle on and off for a few years now, but this ratio of men to women made me feel extremely uncomfortable. No one was playing, everyone had phones out, no music, talking, or socialization. Never the less we attempted to just relax and see if maybe other couples were on their way (that didn't happen lol). The Mr. attempted to make me feel more comfortable by bringing me into one of the playrooms to calm down and relax. 2 of the men from outside followed us into the playroom (creepily staring). We couldn't take it any more i couldn't get in the mood at all. this entire party was a turn off to me. Upon leaving one of the guys asks the Mr. "hey where are you going?" he replies "this party isnt for us!" the man than asks him "well where is she going, because i have something for her?" Now the Mr. is extremely respectful when it comes to the lifestyle, and would enjoy another man giving me compliments, but this one was distasteful. The Mr responds "tell her what you have for her, and by the way do you even know HER name?, or did you ask?" the man proceeds to say "im awesome and i may look short, but i have big shoulders for a reason, and that's not the only thing that's big". We both laughed and as we tried to leave, he gets up to grab me telling the Mr. to "leave me there with him." this situation was so uncomfortable (meanwhile the host was still laying on the couch) the Mr. pulled me aside and stood in front of this guy explaining to him that "she is free to do whatever she wants to do, but she is not free to do whatever YOU want to do." There was so much tension that i had to get us out of there quick. i have never had any experience like this. it was so uneasy and awkward that it would beg me to say to my SLS family please be safe and do your research on who is hosting these parties, and if it seems awkward from the door please do not try to wait around leave ASAP. We will now only stick to clubs we also will only deal with other couples and no single men!! (sorry). Has anyone else ever had a bad experience similar to this one? (thanks for your feedback family)