Flakes

Thanks again for the points of view/ suggestions. Different perspectives that come with different experiences help to see our own mistakes more clearly

I would not waste any more time dealing with it.. yes could something legit have happened YES.. but if he cant be found , doesnt want to be found, and has not returned phone calls or texts.. well just move on. His loss.

We have seen those with other phone and numbers claiming to be legit and its "their private " numbers and when confronted admitted they were cheating. All sort of guys and couples.. for many reasons who BS on SLS.

If it was meant to be it would have worked out.. life is too short to worry about things one cannot control. Enjoy your journey.

It's not perplexing to me. It's obvious that he is hiding from you to protect himself.

From what, exactly? Can't say for sure. But it's his problem, not yours.

Stop making his problem yours.

If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, that's on you.

Those of us that have been around for a while wouldn't...

My initial though VA... a red flag indicated as much to me ... but then he goes and gives us info that he shouldn’t want to give unless he was legit. It’s why it’s so perplexing

RE: his mom

You laugh but he gave us his work phone, his ex wife’s phone (they parted amicably but to verify he was who he says he was). He didn’t just ghost he went poof
And no we didn’t call the job or ex . Don’t want to invade his privacy

He is cheating and is doing everything possible to avoid you contacting him and exposing him.

Let it go.

Call his mother

No the number wasn’t blocked. It’s just odd . You go from feeling pissed and slighted to feeling bad like something awful happened.

This ls is wild

Probably blocked your number.

Call the FBI.

I rarely keep up a conversation yntil I meet with someone. There's the typical basics I want to get out of the way before agreeing to meet (it's nice when it's in their profile instead of divulged 3 messages later when it's harder to nope out of a situation without offending someone)
When keeping it simple and basic, chatting flakes/flakes don't stick around. They like the idea of meeting up, it's a turn on. But it stips there for many

We got flaked on once or twice when we were newbies.

Now we do a little more due diligence investigation beforehand to weed out the potential flakes.

Personally, we think most of the flakes are people with little to no experience who just chicken out when it might get real.

Parties, swinger clubs and meet and greets are far better for meeting actual lifestyle people... in our experience anyway.

"We don't mind if people don't show up.

Yeah, it kinda sucks, but they are probably not someone we want to spend time with.

I'm fucking my favorite person that night whether they show up or not."

I wanted to repeat this because I think it's important.

We've been fortunate that we've never been flaked on but we know it can happen. We have teenage kids and an insane schedule. A night out for us is rare. If we are out alone, no matter what happens we're good.

We don't mind if people don't show up.

Yeah, it kinda sucks, but they are probably not someone we want to spend time with.

I'm fucking my favorite person that night whether they show up or not.

These stories... jeeze

Yeah we’ve met some cool single guys too . Didn’t want to disparage all of them. Just this guy :shakes fist:

Part of me wants my wife to create her own account just to be able to message him and be like WTF man

Absolutely. There are women who are stepping out as well but not like the men. And not all single men are cheaters. There are a lot of good men out there, sometimes there is a lot of weeding through shit to find them.

You kinda nailed it. And covered cheating in general.

It's usually married men that use this site, parties, gangbangs and PG dating apps to be secretly single.

There are women that do the same, but they are few compared to the men.

Women don't go to bathrooms to stick their dicks in the hole or attend gangbangs or pay for massages with sex.

Lots of happily married ppl that secretly envy some aspects of single sex options.

A lot of times single men aren't really single. This is a fantasy for a lot so they either attempt to sneak away then can't, or have no intention to really meet at all.

We've also had "couples" ask us to meet, but the wife had no idea what was going on. We were supposed to casually bring up swinging and how great it is. No thanks. I remember years and years ago we were planning to meet a couple at a meet and greet. But his wife was at home, recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. Of course he was allowed to play.

Nothing surprises me anymore.

In the olden days of party postings, you could only put your name as an attendee for one event per day.

Then the system allowed you to put your name on two events. Difficult but not impossible to attend a party on the East side and West side in same night.

I talked with a couple thru messages who didn't want to exchange numbers, but meet in person at the casino. I was told to look for a blonde in a red dress. Why go and have them either not show or be in the room watching me approach any woman in red?

It's why I don't book a hotel for a woman or couple that says they're coming. Also had a couple new to scene obviously booking several dudes in same night. They had a room, and said his brother or uncle was visiting and I had to be gone by certain time.

Ppl are selfish by nature.

Yeah I would think all things being equal it would typically be couples who flake mainly from guys trying to force the issue w wives who really have no intention to do this . It’s shitty but I can see why the guys do this crap and are backed into a corner
Single guys who have an open invitation and then disappear ? Still baffling

Really baffled as to why this happens.. to any couple lol. I mean bottom line is a guy is going to be having an opportunity for nsa fun with a wonderful married woman and they play games? Maybe it’s because I can’t imagine putting myself in their place to ever flake but wow what’s the point of chatting/ even having a membership just for head games. What makes it worse is he blocked us on here for no reason so I can’t even be like ‘dude wtf’ lol

This is why we have avoided singles in general on here. The fake, flake or cheater rate is far, far higher. We've had lots of good experience with singles, but practically always with ones we've met at clubs or parties.

Once Mrs VA gave me the green light to put out a solo hot date while she was out of town. A few couples emailed me but most didn't reply again after the initial hello. One who was definitely ready to go - admittedly, I just wasn't into her from what I saw and I politely declined. She praised me up and down for just saying no thanks, because almost all other guys just simply don't show up instead of saying no thanks. Pretty sad.

It happened to us last night. We opened up our profile to single males and sifted through them. This local guy was very polite, sexy at times, and seemed like a down to earth guy. Planned a meet...crickets. I asked him later if I had scared him off. He replied that his aunt had went in the hospital and he had been preoccupied with it. I had already told my hubby that he would come up with an excuse like his mom being in the hospital. Not his mom, but close!

Thanks for your input. It sucks to go through it but it’s always nice to chat w someone in the same boat. Thing w this guy is his profile is pretty well done, looks update and kept together.. he initiated and he and I and he and her chatted for a couple of weeks , he was very chatty very open shared pics , live pics verifying gave all the right answers said all the right things. It was so odd for it to fall apart like that . She feels bad - always thinks it’s something she did which pisses me off lol. People are a dime a dozen but when it makes her all out sorts it grinds my gears