What is the deal

If an SM is saying they need to be discreet, that is another red flag that it's a guy that's cheating on his wife/gf. If they need to see a nude right away, that's a red flag that it's a picture collector only.

Usually, neither of these will spend any significant time on their profile. One thing that you can do is to focus on people that have put some very obvious effort into their profile. These are the ones that will also be more likely to put more effort into actually meeting.

As GGMM mentioned, LS parties/events bypass all of this BS and are easily 10x more productive versus trying to set up a meeting online. If you are experienced swingers and at all social, that is going to be the way to go if you really want to meet people and play. Then, if online meetings happen, it's just icing on the cake.

Oh Yes.. thsoe that ask for NUDES right off the bat.. get rid of them.. and move on.

You control the journey and how it is played respectfully as you have done.. IM, talk, set up a meet .. it weeds out the fakes quickly.. etc!

Also be careful of those on SLS who want your nudes.. many sell them to amateur porn sites as we learned years ago in Vegas from a guy on SLS we met! Our nudes are ONLY for those we have played with to remember our good times... always minus faces !

I agree ,what Wildthoughtwatchingwork said. That is what Lissa said , and they always go on . I have to be discreate which I thank is weird in this case we our the ones that need to be discreate.

We don't expect instant commitment ,just a conversation to get to know a little about you .Talked to couples never had this issue . One guy gave his number and wanted Nude right off the bat , we wanted conversation so he blew us off after that . why nudes if going to meet in a couple days. Maybe were old we used this site under readytocumandplay around 07 to 12 and had lots of fun, now with messenger the way it is, because we still use computer only have couple hours a day to talk.

You said "Like to busy to talk ,so why are they sending text if that's the case"

Are you communicating through SLS IM or through text messages on your cell phone.

Try this... chat on an IM, if all seems okay with a FEW chats, have them call you on males phone and both talk at that time.. it will quickly get rid of the flakes.. fakes and pretenders to be swingers!

Plenty here on SLS holdovers from when CL closed down... they get their rocks off messing with people and trading photos!

"It takes like 20 min between responses but then it stops all together 12 hours later you get some kind of response from him are we going to meet . By then we have moved on like he was not interested .This is how its went with every single guy in are area ,"

I think you're saying that a guy contacts you, takes 20 minutes in between replies, and then goes away for 12 hours before coming back and asking if you'd like to meet. At which time you are uninterested, because he's taken too long.

If that's the case, then it's definitely you and your unrealistic expectations.

Since you want instant responses and immediate commitment, there are probably clubs and parties near you that allow single guys. That will allow you the immediacy you seem to require in a way that SLS, with it's clunky, non-alerting message system, and people, with their inconvenient lives that you cannot see can't.

We think most of those kind of guys are married and cheating. When you can only communicate at certain times during the day that's a red flag for us.

To the ones saying that we are scare them off ,its not like that they contact us ,if she likes, she responds, then they say like hey interested, exchange pics , then they say something like your hot .It takes like 20 min between responses but then it stops all together 12 hours later you get some kind of response from him are we going to meet . By then we have moved on like he was not interested .This is how its went with every single guy in are area , Like to busy to talk ,so why are they sending text if that's the case.

Maybe I just don't get it.

Life goes on

We were talking to one guy , we exchanged pics said he wanted to meet . Told him a place we like to meet . Then left us hanging, this is exactly how 3 other guys were ,it might take 3 days to get that far with some of them . All I am saying is if your interested take the time to have a conversation .

Nc - Neither of us can reallly change the actions of others, no matter what we say. The best you can do is try to understand why people do what they do and roll with it.

Most times these days we have people come to our house to meet us, or to a local restaurant that we would have gone to anyway. If people no-show or can't make it for any reason, we haven't really gone out of our way.

So here's one scenario. The guy makes plans and doesn't tell the wife, who either already had other plans, or she looks at the guy (you in this case) and says, "No way". What would you do if the guy that you made the plans with told you the truth? Many would give him a ration of shit (perhaps rightly so), which is just one of many reasons you either don't hear back or get an excuse.

Mayhem, I've been very respectful commenting on outfits and tattoos, but they all have seem to fallen on deaf ears. I know we've spent a lot of time and effort to meet people before and some good, some bad. I'm just asking for honesty. If you're not interested, just say so.

We've even had couples fake illness to getaway from a club they invited us to.....

Nc - "It's almost like high school all over again.....ugh."

Lack of responses has come up a number of times, and it usually isn't related to maturity. While nobody owes anyone anything here, if a couple reaches out with a decent message, we will always take the time to respond, even if it's to say that we don't feel we're a match. It's just a common courtesy. FWIW - A decent message isn't some guy saying, "Hey baby, You look hot!". Especially since the straight male half does all the online stuff ;-)

I do also get why some people don't respond when the answer is "Not interested". Anyone that has said "No thanks" and been faced with "Why?" or, worse yet, confrontational or even threatening responses, will find it easier to just not respond at all going forward when they're not interested. One need only have a single bad experience to decide to take this stance.

Time, Definitely seems that way. It's almost like high school all over again.....ugh. We're new to the site and app, but definitely not new to LS. Guess we'll keep trudging along and see how it plays out.

Just looked at your profile, no red flags. Maybe some single guys can shed some light on the situation.

You guys have been on this site for less than 3 weeks, so not sure how many guys we're talking about. That is not a very long time.

I can't comment much about single guys because we're not really looking for them, but as a group, I would think that they have the largest % of fakes/flakes. They could be ghosting you for any number of reasons. Could be they're only here to see what "could" happen, but have no intention of actually doing anything. Some may not be single, so when you press for a meeting, they bail.

It could also be something your saying, but again, 3 weeks is not a lot of time. While there may be a lot of SMs here, only a small % of them may be real AND interested in meeting and ones that you'd actually want to meet. Persistance pays off, but it can definitely seem like more work than it should be.

Nc we’re with you 100%. So many times we have sent a message to a couple, and never a word back.

Maybe the conversation you are having with them is scaring them away or turning them off.

if every guy has done it to you, it may be you. just saying

I've never done that, but on the other side of it....How hard is it to return a message of no thanks or not interested ?? We're all here for the same things, for the most part, but just be honest. I guess that's too much to ask for some.

Why do the guys on here start a conversation and say there interested , Then leave you hanging in the middle of conversation. this is getting nuts every guy here has done that to us