Single men and why we are blocked.

<p>MoT1974,</p>

<p>"Hmmm, are you sure about that? If you set your preferences to "no interest" in couples, and thereby hide from them, are you saying you cannot view ANY couple's profile? If that is the case, I would agree that would be inequitable."</p>

<p>"This is indeed the case. I block SMs, and cannot see any of profile in that category."</p>

<p>You can block a group (male, female or couple) and you can also set you interest level to "No interest". For the block, you will no longer see their profile in many of the lists and will not be able to view a profile of that type (if you do see it somewhere) and if you cannot view the profile, you cannot message them.</p>

<p>The "No interest" should not hide the profiles and you should still be able to view the profile and send them a message. On your search page, if you have couples set to "No Interest", it will default to the search for couples being set to "No", but you can manually change it to "Yes" and then search for them, view them and contact them and they can also still see and contact you. It basically just removes the gold interest bar by the "Couples" option for your interest levels.</p>

Those with single males blocked cannot actually view single male profiles, so...

I agree with what's been said so far. In our case, we are open to all people. Years ago, we blocked single males because we were interested only in couples and didn't want to be bothered otherwise. After meeting a single male or two at a nudist resort, we altered our approach to intimacy. In another case, we agreed to meet a male who assured us his wife would like to play also, just not as much as he did! lol That turned out to be beneficial for all involved.

Our main complaint about email is the lack of courtesy and etiquette from a lot of folks. Out attitude is: if you can't use normal language and spelling, you must be to real dweeb!

I will put my cents in on this topic, the reason why ( couples or single females ) block single males .

1. They might have on there profile no single males contact us anyways

1. Some might have preference of age of single males they prefer and you dont fit there age limits.

1. They might block you after viewing your profile and if your not a match then don't have to worry about viewing your profile again.

1. Some have race preference on there profile about what ingle guys either what color you are. If you don't fit that and you write them they might block you as well.

1. They probably blocked you because how you approached them with a message " Hey hottie how are you " Nice sexy profile could we meet " and other things.

1. They probably blocked you because you are stalking them and they recognize you and they feel creeped about it.

1. They probably blocked you because you wrote them a message again when they didn't respond back to you with the first message.

1. They probably blocked you because when you didn't stop reaching out to them after they told you they are not interested.

That's just my cents I put in, don't get to carried away or simp if you get blocked, people get blocked all the time online.

we as a couple don't block singles, but most of the emails are like this one:

06-20-2022 01:52 pm
Hi
hey, What's up
08-18-2022 11:40 am
Wow she is a very beautiful sexy lady
we know
Would yall even let to go hang out
we wrote a profile for a reason. please read it

MoT - I'm not sure I get your last post, but I'd think that just about all straight and some bi guys set their preference for other SMs to "No interest", so that would basically block you from seeing them. It is likely the norm.

While I have seen some couples set their preference for other couples to "No interest", that is not the norm.

Currently we have single males blocked and cannot see single male profiles. After reading the most recent conversations we do not understand the problem. If we have the single male group blocked they cannot see our profile nor can we see theirs. So what in the heck is everyone talking about in regards to inequality. The block is reciprocal both ways.

Now if someone shows in your viewed me and yet you find they blocked you it may be because they either blocked you after viewing or perhaps toggled off the block, browsed through single males in the area, and then toggled the block back on. IDK and I have no way or desire to test this.

Exactly Cape.. before reading your response ( just now ) we had 2 IM's.. one a 21 year old kid with a bathroom selfie and one line profile and the second an older gentleman with the same in his underwear in a bathroom too!

What dont they get and did they read our profile ?... obviously not... and YES we played with a SLS guy tonight who did get it!

We like single guys. Having said that, the reason we block so many is that our profile clearly states no photo, no response. We also state that we aren’t looking for travelers or those that will be here on business. We still receive emails with no photo and those here on business. We like single guys but are very picky. Guys, start reading the freakin profiles in their entirety. It’s like the old joke, “I don’t read Playboy, I just look at the pictures.” That doesn’t work for us.

I asked a SM friend of ours to toggle couples to “no interest” and he was still able to view couples’ profiles so there is apparently no inequity there.

Again for clarification, toggling “no interest” doesn’t mean couples don’t have any interest, it means they want to be hidden to eliminate spam while still “window shopping”.

Since you may be what they are shopping for, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. ;-)

~Scamp

It is possible we are talking about two different things, blocking vs "no interest".

We have our profile open to all so I don't know what would happen if we set our preferences to "no interest" in single males but that used to allow us to be hidden but still look at SM profiles. Blocking a group I believe takes away any views in either direction. So to be clear, I am referring to the "no interest" option, if that still exists. lol

Also, this seems a little contradictory to me:

"Oh...and I never debated the reasoning of couple blocking SMs."

"If another profile blocks me or the group to which I belong (SMs in this case), then they should not be able to view me/us. "

You seem to me saying you understand that couples may choose to block SMs, even if they may occasionally seek one out but then state if they do block you/your group, they shouldn't be able to view you to seek you out.

"OR, better still, make it so that once a profile messages a member of a blocked group, that individual profile is now unblocked, unless that couple blocks them individually (better idea, IMO)."

This is how it was back when I joined the site, once a couple emailed me, I could see their profile and respond. That made too much sense though and that function went away during one of their infamous "upgrades". ;^D

~Scamp

But if they are blocking ALL single males, who cares, they aren't looking for any. That basically says don't contact us, we are not interested. It probably says something like that in their profile anyway.

MoT - That's why I said it's "kind of" the same. You have to take the added step of unblocking a blocked profile to see them. but the choice is the blocker's, not the blockee's.

There was a case recently where a SM had their prefernces set to block other SMs. They were entering forum posts that were irritating enough to another SM that the SM wanted to block them, so as not to see them or their posts. They couldn't do it because you need to be able to view someone's profile in order to block them.

In that case, the blocker had some amount of control over the people being blocked. I believe the SM in question put in a support ticket and had the person they wanted blocked added to their Blocked list.

"I challenge the quotations around inequity, as though that were in question."

Your problem seems to be, "if they can see me, I should be able to see them!". That's not inequitable, that is just your opinion and one that is not shared by the majority of couples on the site. I repeat, couples who are interested in SMs may look at your profile to see if there is interest but not open their profile up to all so as to avoid spam messages.

Think of it as you would at a club. You see a couple who looks interesting, they make eye contact with you but decide to invite a different SM to join them in a private room and close the door. Do you expect to be allowed to walk in and watch, just because they looked at you? Of course not. So why do you think you are owed a view of their profile?

"Your notion of SM/SFs simply blocking (all) couples seems to me nonsensical reasoning. One would not block couples, as there are many who do not block SMs/SFs. So a universal group block of couples would deny access to those seeking out singes (sic)."

That was my point, you would be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

"If a SM/SF blocks, say, couples. They are not allowed to view their profiles, just as when we block an individual (all of us, I think), we cannot visit their profile."

Hmmm, are you sure about that? If you set your preferences to "no interest" in couples, and thereby hide from them, are you saying you cannot view ANY couple's profile? If that is the case, I would agree that would be inequitable.

To summarize, if your complaint is that a couple can view your profile but you can't view them back, I say "too bad".

If, however, you utilize the same function of hiding your profile from couples and you then lose the ability to view any couple's profiles, that needs to addressed.

~Scamp

Whether someone is blocked individually or through preferences, the result is kind of the same. They can view your profile whenever they want and you can't view theirs. If you can't view theirs, you cannot block them.

If it really bothered someone, they could always enter a support ticket requesting the couple/individual be added to their block list. If SLS got enough of these requests, perhaps they'd do something about it. History has shown eliminating work for them has a higher value to SLS than what members want.

As far as it being fair, it's the site and not the member that determines how the preference settings block works. If someone thinks this isn't fair, they should probably take it up with the site through a support ticket rather than a forum post. While airing it the forums gets it off your chest, you run the risk of being viewed as a whiner.

This “inequity” some have complained about has been explained ad nauseam but let me try again.

Some SM-friendly couples don’t want to be inundated with messages so they keep their profile hidden but they still are able to view potential playmates. If they view your profile but don’t reach out, that means they may not be interested but it could also mean they aren’t interested right now and may reach out in the future.

Now as a SM, if you think that is unfair, you have the same ability to block couples from seeing your profile with a quick change of your settings. Of course, that is a self-defeating strategy.

Sorry, it just comes off as whiny to say it’s inequitable when you have the same ability to control who views your profile. And this is coming from someone who spent my first 10 years on this site as a SM.

~Scamp

The first one to block seems to be the one that has the control. I'll admit that this is a shitty system. The problem is that you need to access a person's profile to block them, and if they've blocked you, you can't access their profile.

If it's someone specific and you know their online name, you can always try to submit a support ticket asking that they add the offending member to your blocked list. That way at least, if they unblock you they still can't see your profile. I believe some here have done just that.

Agree... if we all pay we need to have all same rights.

BobUSA: Agree with you on this one!! ALL "Paid Memberships" should have the same or equal benefits and access. As with many SM's, I also get views from "Blocked SM" members (couples/unicorns). The website admin needs to take control and fix these inequitably issues. With that said (as I noted in my prior post) I use this SLS website mostly for Hot-Date or other events info. I'm Not here waiting for messages ... Waste of time !!!

Meet-n-greets at SLS lifestyle events are where I prefer to connect with members to see if there is an attraction or chemistry for more...

Well that crazy blocked rules make a lot fake profiles. Profiles said couple but a lot singles.... and I think all who pay membership need to have rights to cheak another's profiles. Never mind if someone like to meet single or not. Ok to block messages but why we all need to pay and than couples who block have options to cheak us and we can't do anything.... not right we all pay here.

We are a couple and find the minute that you unblock males you will get over 100 messages from all ages . That's a lot of mail to go through. So if couples are looking for single males they can just unblock for a few days and you will have more mail than you can handle. I know not a great answer but have spoke with many other couples and seems to help keep mail load down.

PA, you are rare in that you actually read profiles. As much as I say that is the single biggest thing an SM can do to increase his odds, many still do not.

Even beyond that I will still sometimes give people a chance. I am probably WAY more forgiving than I should be, but it hasn't burned us yet as most guys will show their true colors after an email or two. It's also not just singles that don't read, but it tends to hurt couples less than SMs just because of the ratio and potential appeal of couples versus SMs.

Rabbit. .... like you every day more and more. :)

Perhaps this is something to put in Additional comments. Though we are generally looking for couples, our toggles make it look as though there may be some interest in singles. We do have both SM and SF friends, so we leave it open for that.

We have also had cases where we've met with a SM that brought a SF (or vice versa), which we are also open to. That is something we do mention in our profile.

There have been cases where SMs think that because we do MFMs that it opens the door for meeting, but we do say that is something we do at LS parties and some guys don't get that and actually get arrogant saying, "It's impossible to meet us". It's not, and we'd otherwise be fine with letting them know of a SM friendly party we attend if they are nice about it.

In our case the Mrs enjoys seeing me have fun as much as I enjoy seeing her play, so it's just not as fun for either of us to meet and limit play to a SM or an SF. At parties we both have options if playing with singles. If a guy can't accept that then they usually get blocked, but most can understand that.

Did you even read my post? I acknowledged and accept that your fem half is straight thus the reason I asked why you have your profile open to SFs and not males

I now see you updated your profile to block SFs and SMs which is nuch more in line with your “couples only” stance on swinging.

Good for you and better for me! That just means more men to myself!

Hello boys!!

~rabbit~