Wife concerned about getting an STD

yeah, everybody should be concerned, not just saying the wife is worried, the husband needs to safeguard her also and both should feel a connection with the other couple anyway. Only fools rush in ? ( sorry ) and hope for the best ? Not so much as the wife but a lot of husbands should consider the risks for her, It's better to trust your wife gut instinct then push her into a risk ?

I suppose there are a lot of other ways to get off with another couple if you are not sure you should take the plunge.

As stated by others, the only way to ensure you don't catch anything is abstinence. Assuming that's not an option you want to consider then you need to protect yourself.

Although not foolproof you can lower the risk by knowing who you're playing with and making sure you take precautions. Ask your playmates about their status, use condoms and other prophylactics etc.

If folks don't want to talk about it or give the slightest hint that protection isn't important to then leave and find new playmates.

It can suck to ask the awkward questions and leaving a hot couple can be hard but protecting your health is more important.

Without trying to be a douchebag . . . how do you know that you guys do not already have an STD?

Try and be objective and answer that question without taking it personal. I purposefully worded it that way because the answer is that you do not. And before you say that you got tested and such, you would still be wrong.

From a testing perspective, first and foremost, there is no test for HPV for a male. NONE. So you can have it and do not even know.

Chances are that one of you has HPV or HSV or both. Why? Because it is close to 80% of the sexually active people in the US have it. Think about that. The math basically states that one of you, either your wife or you already have it.

What is interesting though, are some of the responses. I would say to all of them, thanks, but piss off. I am going to read what scientists state, not what some wannabe doctors on a swingers site said. Go to the CDC site. READ. Educate yourself. Then you can make a decision that you feel comfortable with. There is absolutely risk in this lifestyle. You can choose the level of risk that you are willing to take. Just like you did this morning when you got out of bed. There is more risk in getting hit by a drunk driver and you still get in a car :)

The CDC will state the following:

1. If you want to make sure you catch nothing, do nothing. Yup, no sex = no std. Which is kinda fucked up because they classify BV as a STD and most women get BV without having sex!
2. Condoms are NOT magic devices that will prevent the transmission of diseases. In other words if condoms are used, you will not get cooties.
3. Condoms are EXTREMELY effective in the prevention of HIV transmission.
4. Condoms can have a measurable impact on the transmission of some other cooties. (If you dig deeper into that in your reading, you will learn it is akin to buying a 2nd lottery ticket. Your odds doubled in the chances to win, but they were already measured in scientific notation to the ^-7 so, it is still low)
5. You will learn a lot about age groups.
6. You will learn a lot about geography.
7. You will learn a lot about race.

After you digest all that information, you will then decide what is the best path for you, and in all sincerity, that choice is the only correct choice.

Don't worry about it. I know it's counter intuitive, but swingers are SAFER, with far less risk, than all the vanilla people fucking around with each other out there.

Would agree. If someone is that concerned about STD's you may want to re-consider dabbling in the Lifestyle. Being selective is important. In the 10 yrs. we've been in the Lifestyle we've never caught so much as a cold.

If that concerned, don't swing. You won't get any.

Every activity comes with risks. Driving could get you in an accident, hunting could get you shot, mountain climbing, etc.. you get the idea. Swinging is no different. No risk, no gain..

As everyone knows, swingers use condoms as the primary STD prevention method. They don't protect from everything but they do something. Best protection against STDs is to know your partners and be selective in who you sleep with.

While nothing except abstinence is 100% generally vetting your partners (getting to know them) and using safe sex practices seriously reduces your chances of contracting anything. As was said there is a lot on the topic in the safe sex forum but there is also a lot of BS in that information. We have found that one of the best preventative measures is quite simply the fact everyone else has the same concerns you do. If it seems they do not (for example "I don't ever wear a condom." is a phrase that comes to mind) we usually take a hard pass. BTW that example was just that an example and a statement we have heard in one form or an other many times.

I believe there are probably a number of threads on this topic already that you might want to check out. Probably in the Safe Sex topic, for much of it.

1st and foremost important thing to do, and it’s the mature thing to do as well. Before things get too hot and heavy, open the conversation about std’s. Ask if they have ever had a herpes out break, when was the last time they got tested and so forth. Most people are going to be honest.
2nd, inform yourself on std’s, what’s permanent, what’s easily treatable and such
I hate having to turn some one down because they have hsv2, but there’s been several occasions in my life where I had to say hey, I have other sex partners, so it’s not fair for me to put them at risk. It sucks, but it’s important.

Hi all. We are new to this lifestyle and my bc wife is concerned about catching a STD. I know she should be concerned but how do other people handle this fear?