One legged swinger

Ok, first thing is COMMUNICATION is the main part of the lifestyle. If you two are not talking about it, then there is no need to continue. Voyeurism is always a good first step to start in the lifestyle. No touching and no pressure to perform, that is why watching others is a good first step.

Next, you two should be partners in all aspects of the lifestyle. The way you are chatting with others without your partners knowledge is a form of cheating on her.

Another underlining part of the lifestyle is, its all about the lady. That is why clubs have "Ladies Nights", to attract women and men to the club; same in the lifestyle. If ladies don't feel comfortable or enjoying themselves in a place, then no one will be staying long. If she is not enjoying herself it will be noticed. Its not a fun night if one part of the couple is not enjoying the night out. Believe me, other couples will notice it and might avoid you two at any future events to avoid any drama.

Plus, body shape really doesn't matter. We have mom and dad bods and we own it like a champ!! Being in shape is a good thing though, you need to maintain an erection, and if your lady has a strappy, that is a lot of hip action!!! ;)

Time to get off my high horse and get some sleep. Hope this might help you or assist you in your choices. Good luck and take care.

Thank you RonKathy, I am totally committed to our marriage, and not considering moving forward in this without spouse. Not the only concession taken over the years, and likely not the last. I am hoping to hear from members that walked the same road, and how they handled the divide. I want to honor trust in spouse, but so drawn to LS, I find myself wondering.

Disclaimer: I am posting this without my partner as my partner is no longer on board.
I am hoping for some helpful insight for what seems a hopeless situation. What do you do when one of you decides this is not for you? After years of talking about what it would be like to have someone else join us for sex, We started exploring, checking out other profiles, and reading stories. I realized first that we really needed to socialize more, and second, I really needed to start working out harder. "WE"(I) made a few contacts, and chatted some, but no actual face to face meetings. My partner, who is very self-conscious, felt very intimidated, and scared that I was so interested. They have since decided that SLS is "bad" (I'll save all of the derogative explicit's used), and put up the morality fence. I however was ready to embrace the life style, and was maybe a little too eager. I am madly in love with my partner(30 yrs), and do not want/will not to be in another relationship, without them. I cannot deny the desires that seem to be growing in me. The more I know, the more I want to engage. I want to continue to communicate with other members, and even tempted to meet by myself as long as we don't have sex, right. I know the answer is "NO, not without full consent", but I'm pretty sure consent is not on the table. Not much to offer from my end, and I don't expect others would be too interested. You can find plenty of dirty chat elsewhere.
I have read through a number of profiles, forums, and stories (love them) that talk about having a complete reversal of perception and acceptance over time. What is a body, mind, and spirit to do in the meantime.
Thanks for listening. Any constructive advice or own experiences are welcome.