Passion.. I feel your pain and also respect that you respect your wife’s feeling on this lifestyle. My better half has gone hot and cold over the past 30ish years or so based on what going on in life..kids, busy vanilla family & friends events, professional life blah blah ( oh and throw in menopause…that just sucks for everybody!,, lol and why I spend lots of time offshore fishing!, lol). That all said, what works for us….is get away on a nakation with nice beaches and some fun adult night life. The air is packed with sensual and voyeur excitement that always became intoxicating for us. The anxiety and nerves just seem to melt away, and sometimes has led to great friendly chemistry and awesome fun! One time at HBR, a couple, especially his wife was very touchy and flirty with us in the hot tub and I thought, very prematurely with “d ck brain”, wow, this happening. 2 minutes latter, my wife says it’s getting late and let’s hit the sack….I said I would see her back at the room in a couple minutes as I just wanted to finish my beer and conversations.. the wife of the other couple asked me if I or we were game to “play” sometime , and I told her, I am a lucky guy, but she is the governor when it comes to the LS. I gave her our room number and asked her to go chat with my wife. She did not come back, so the husband and I went to find them and walked in to find 2 women with their ankles in the air doing each other mindlessly!! The rest of the nakation was awesome! And then we get home..and that switch just turns off! Suffice it to say, I plan the vacations..lol.. give it a try and good luck. Paul &Meg
Nerves nerves and more nerves
RK we do that now lots of talking and teasing but for now keeping it there. She just ain’t there and maybe in time. She would love it that I’m sure about. Never know what the future holds.
Thanks Heyhorny we have been to clubs with mixed reviews. For now I’ve chosen to shelf the idea from serious talk and have it for some no pressure talk between us. If she ever gets that desire we can address again but for now don’t see it happening. Appreciate the talks. For the record if she could relax she would love it
Maybe try adding this too.. we go shopping for a nice sexy dresses all the time.. this allows her to try on different dresses and sexy heels.. We always kid how she looks, what she will do on the dance floor, and the new person in bed.. we take the talk home and relive many scenes that intrigue us and turn us on..
This week as an example.. we were suppose to meet a NEW SLS guy , he called last night and claims he is sick.. okay hope he gets well.. but the entire week we were both teasing each other on what she was going to do with him and then me .. she even had a surprise sexy dress up night and rocked my world unexpected on WED. all while telling me what she was going to do with our new FWB as she looks at me and gives me that special BJ while he is taking her..
You get the idea... never give up, never stop talking about what you will be doing.. and yes get her excited with what she wants and enjoys.. it will happen if meant to and once she gets a good positive taste she will be hooked!
We all have been there with the nerves and jealousy concerns. Experience in the LS will ease those with some time and more sexual experiences with others. Getting there may be the hard part. How about going to a swingers club and just watching. She may see how much fun the LS can be and let some of her inhibitions go. Good luck to you both!
Ronandkathy thank you and I look forward to showing her your response. Truth is I am the one that has stopped it from happening because I know her mindset and I won’t risk the relationship for it. We did do the mfm 3sums and all went really well we all had a great time. It just didn’t create that spark for her which is why I said let’s pause. I just was hoping she could see from others what I’ve been saying and first response was exactly what I say. I’ve stressed it’s not good for us or the others we are with. So thank you again for the response and never say never
Welcome.. and I am saying this in all honesty after swinging now going on 30 plus years successfully.
We have come across all sorts of people , singles and couples and some are just never ready to share the spouse or partner with someone else. If BOTH of you are not on the same page, harbor jealous issues, etc etc .. then STOP until you are.. talk it out, talk with more experienced swingers .. and only at that time enjoy the swinging experience together.
What about doing a 3 sum with 2 guys where she is the center of attention to show how much fun it is for her and you? Yes we see you did several but how was she... did she enjoy it.. does she want more what you didnt explain.
We have always looked at swinging like a sport, fun , exciting and wanting more with only FUN people who get it... if only one of you is having fun ... and I am saying this from experience.. it will end bad for you and usually others you are playing with. Yes we have had issues where the husband wanted US to talk the wife into swinging, issues where one went crazy while watching a spouse in bed.. and yes we stopped it and asked them to leave.
We are NOT here to talk anyone into swinging especially those with issues and NO its not the nerves we all have them watching ones spouse having sex with someone else.