We see this often on swinger site: couples trying to hook up despite being far apart.
If you can make this happen, it would be AWESOME, but realistically, it’s a big ask. The fact that someone has to travel 500 miles will automatically put the first meeting under tremendous pressure.
We could be that couple you are looking for. The only problem us that we live in MO. Are you ever down/over this way (I'm bad at directions lol)? If course, would like to get to know hou first. I am bi- curious as well
Continue be patient and open to possibilities that come your way. There are in fact a number of longtime SLS couples who don't full swap and I have seen profiles that note g/g play only. So you will find what you seek. I do think AndrewRobin's suggestion to use HotDate is a good idea too.
"Or maybe this isn’t realistic when new to swinging?"
It's realistic but it'll probably be another newbie couple such as yourselves. Very few experienced couples stick with the "watch the girls" model of swinging long-term. When first in the lifestyle a lot of women are all about the girls and this is exciting to them. But once the novelty has worn off, they go back to primarily wanting dick. Most experienced swinging women consider the whole "girls play, fuck your own partner" to be something of a consolation prize and aren't likely to entertain it, although the chances at a party are better (because they'll just go fuck someone else when you're done).
If you're patient (and since you've been here for a year and half and still haven't played, it seems like you are) you'll get your wish eventually if you are clear about it. Andrew's Hot Date suggestion is a decent one.
Post a hot date that clearly tells people what you want. If you don't tell people what you want, you'll never get it.
We found it overwhelming as well until we realized some the wonders of the LS (Lifestyle) for highly sexed married couples like us. If you’re asking how to speed things up - it’s totally friggin awesome that you two are beginning the LS - enjoy your LS newbi’ism, it will pass.
Even before we experienced full swap with another couple we increased our communication level by 1000%. We fantasy fucked for a year while looking for our first experience and when it happened, hours of intimate conversation about the LS helped.
My next suggestion is open yourself to all possibilities. Look for more than FF (female/female) fun with the men watching. When you find the couple of your dreams there’s plenty of time for FF play while the guys watch. In the meantime, stay absolutely wide open to deepening your intimacy in ways you don’t imagine, and tell each other how new experiences are new opportunities to make FWB (Friends With Benefits). We found our SO (significant other) at a birthday party painting faces on our g-kids 8 years ago. Our families b-day turned into a lifetime event by adding a new family member...and we've lived happily every after ever since.
The last thing is stick with it, and stay LS active. Continue thinking and talking about your sex with each other. Continue going to clubs. Continue adding new profile pictures, go to hotel and house parties with "No Expectations” and enjoy your togetherness at those events At some point, you won’t be newbies to other regulars and your newbie cherry will disappear. Your responsibility is to have the right frame of mind, at the right time ,and enjoy the show - life is 10% experience and 90% reaction. Keep it sexy and stick with it.
In hindsight, maybe the best approach is connecting with another of those newbie couples that is not yet attached to a clique. Regardless of how you make your first connection, it will likely require that you take some initiative and nudge your comfort level a bit. Waiting for someone else to approach you is not likely to result in success for you.
Hi! New to the lifestyle and recently went to our first party. Wow!!! That was a little overwhelming for me(her) and he has been to a few parties/clubs in GA but this was his first in MI. It was a lot to take in. We are looking for a couple possibly for our first time but we’d like for it to be only girl on girl and the men watch. Of course we should go out and have some drinks and get to know eachother first, if that’s what is done? Can anyone help on how to find a couple like this? Or maybe this isn’t realistic when new to swinging? At the party everyone already seemed to have clicks, newbies were easy to pick out. Lol. Any advice is helpful! Thank you!
