Husbandneeds...
She lists as bicurious. You have to ask her directly why she doesn't want to get with a couple. Has it ever occurred to you that she might want to be with a woman on her own without your participation, and doesn'tknow how to tell you?
If, on the other hand, she is getting snippy because she doesn't want women to be involved in your play at all, why list as bi anything??
Husbandneedshelp - This has come up in the forum before and the answer is always the same. This is between you and your wife. People can offer advice, but none of that really matters. Obviously this bothers you and you need to let her know and work this out between you. Jealousy and the lifestyle are not compatible.
It does make it harder that she is the onliine presence because if she is that into it, it just makes it that much easier for her to make her own arrangements without you. You may want to consider seeking professional help, which the forum is not.
We have hurdles to overcome. We have shared a couple briefly at Caliente in Land O' Lakes, FL in 2012 (first time and disappointing because I was not attracted to the female and the guy was short with a small cock. My wife blew him and ate her pussy after I fucked her). The next night I encouraged her to make out with a guy in the conversation pool. We got out of the pool and onto a lounger where she blew me and I doggie styled her. The guy ended up joining for a BJ and a doggie ride. Two other guys came by and took a shot. Each wore a rubber and came in a matter of 3 or 4 minutes. We didn't dabble with the Lifestyle until last October when the subject resurfaced and she started watching porn. We began getting in shape and talking about the rules and how we hoped each type of scenario may happen. She joined a few swinger's sites and started making friends. But when I would like a couple or a female she started getting snippy and jealous. She had no issue if I friended a single male. She has some self-esteem issues (I have no fucking clue why because she is one hot MILF, 5' 10", 155 pounds, dark hair and dark complexion with unblemished skin that feels like a baby's ass) so I decided that if we were going to ease into the lifestyle, the best scenario for the first 6 months to a year would be her, myself and another man. No need being jealous because I don't have any desire to suck a cock, let a guy suck mine or either of us stick our dicks in each other. We had the opportunity to hook up with a 38 year old guy over there last month. He is 6' 7" with an 11" cock. She went back and forth with him and others on a swinger's site for 3 months, posting pussy and dildo pics, talking about how she couldn't wait to see if she could fit that huge cock in her pussy. My birthday was the end of March so I hit him up on Twitter and she hit him up on the swinger's site to try and set it up. Then came coronavirus and that all died. But my issue remains this; WTF am I dealing with when she is perfectly open to fuck another guy, perhaps take a DP or a DVP with the right size cocks, but If I even view a couple she gets jealous as fuck?
The only pitfall I (the male half) can see is how you say you have poly interests with only one partner at a time. The thing is being with one person not your spouse or significant other behind closed doors is not a poly relationship. It is in fact simply swinging. Taking the poly aspect out for now what it sounds like is she enjoys multiple partners in public while you prefer one on one private encounters. The suggestion has been made for you two to find a club to go to. I would strongly second that. We know several couples where one or the other is a big flirt and enjoys the attention doing things in "public" or at least in view of others and does so with great gusto. The other partner is more reserved but enjoys playing with someone in one of the closed door rooms. Sometimes they go into a room together with another couple or even single and sometimes the more "reserved" partner watches the other play openly even participating some. We also know a couple where it seems only one actually plays whenever and wherever while the other seems to enjoy conversation, flirting, and dressing sexy in public yet never seems to be involved in actual play although it's not like we watch them all night so maybe they do.
Now I am not an expert on a poly relationship but as I understand it the term means having more than one significant other in an emotional romantic relationship. I think it kind of goes beyond that in that everyone is committed to everyone else and having sex outside that relationship is actually cheating. In other words two or more girlfriends and perhaps a boyfriend or two as well. Not everyone has to be involved with each other but it goes beyond sex into emotional romantic feelings with all involved. I think the term you were looking for is more "open relationship" where each partner in the romantic committed emotional romantic relationship has one or multiple platonic sex partner. It can be a friendship type relationship with the partner(s) or it can be simply sex with strangers. In many instances they go out on "dates" with others but it is for the fun and there is nothing emotionally romantic about it.
So long as neither of you are definitely against either option, why not try all of the above once. You never know, the person who had the other preference may discover they had fun broadening their preconceived boundaries. Have a code word, so that if things are not going well, you can discreetly signal the other that it's time to quit/leave.
When my ex and I were swinging, we also had some different things at the top of our bucket list. If one of us really did not want to do something, we just dropped it. But if the activity was something the other wasn't that into, but would try, we'd give it a try with our secret "I want outta this" code word. Worked like a charm. I can only think of a couple times one of us had to use the code word and it was never horrible, just not fun and time to go. With all that great communication, we had over a decade of great fun in the lifestyle.
So long as you are both understanding and respectful of your different needs, it's not that big a difference. It just requires some flexibility in how, when and where you play.
I had a playmate for a while who preferred having just one regular partner, while his wife liked to go to parties, collect several younger men, and do her thing in public. They were both fine with it, probably because he was okay watching her and she didn't worry that he'd catch a case of the feels.
I have seen couples as described and it worked fine for them at LS parties. She could play in public with multiple guys if she wanted and he would play in private with 1 girl at a time.
If playing with a couple at home they'd generally play in separate bedrooms, but would do same room play if the couple they played with prefered that.
The wife enjoys the same room and being watched while playing, and hooking up at parties etc. The husband has more poly interests, and prefers having a single play partner. Any advice on managing our differences, and allowing both to get the experience they want? The husband is less interested in being in front of others. Is this even worth trying to work through or is the difference too much? Thanks
