Hosting first house party

PARTY: Lots to think about. First of all I would like to thank the hosts of said parties for offering their home and hosting such great parties. We have considered hosting a party but there are so many thing's to think about. You have to open up your home to strangers, yes strangers. Even if you know the people and even have played with them already. I only trust people with my personal effects as far as I can see them. Alcohol is another factor, I would not provide any kind of alcohol, most people bring their own. One rule we have is that we " never" ask the host to invite anyone we have not played with first and feel we know, and would be a good addition to the party. We feel responsible for their behavior if we recommend them. Some parties, hosts will invite people site unseen, and they have not played with them. I have heard of parties that have literally had to throw people out, because of their bad behavior. These people were unknown by the hosts, enough said. Laundry is another issue. Given that you invite large numbers of people to play in your home, you have a mess to clean up. Not to mention your furniture and other things in your home. We much prefer to entertain one on one in our home or a hotel room. OR visit one on one at someone else's home. Not posting this to be a kill joy but again to commend those who are brave enough to open their homes, and have great swinging parties.

We have hosted several house parties. We always invite experienced friends we know and have played with. It's always a couple's party for us. We never charge but we do ask that each couple bring a little snack to share and their favorite alcohol. Usually, we will also invite a couple or two that we've chatted with but not met. Sometimes this has been good and other times not but it adds another couple or two into the mix. Since most of us are experienced, no games are need to break the ice. Everyone comes ready to play. It's been some good times. Now that our friends have enjoyed the parties, they have tried throwing their own. Wonderful time for us.

We never asked for donations. Rather, most people offered to bring food to share. We did provide water, beer, wine, and mixers but otherwise, it was BYOB. We found that we inevitably had more food than we needed but were not overwhelmed with leftovers and we seemed to end up with more wine than we started the evening with!

We felt hosting was not overly expensive and the convenience of not having a long drive home was well worth the expense.

So, unless you are hosting an event with food (like a BBQ for example) that has a hefty upfront cost, I'd say no to donations. Plus, I'd make sure if you do need donations for that special event, that your guests know of the expected donation in advance to avoid surprising them. Plus, if they know why you are collecting money, they'll be more likely to pay and not feel taken advantage of.

Hot "but being charged definitely changes the vibe. Particularly when single guys have been invited, charging a fee makes some feel that they are due a good time" This was exactly my thought... While we do not have a single guy issue as our parties are couples only, I still feel odd suggesting a fee, as we started out doing this just for the sheer fun of hosting these parties. What we are doing currently is working as we co-host with another couple and two other couples have stepped up to help with snacks. We feel more comfortable supplying everything other than the alcohol, and as it is now neither of us are spending more than $50 on party supplies. Now we do also stock the bar with some favorites (vodka, Tequila, Rum, and Fireball) for shots and such, but we would do that no matter the party.

SCSwing,

We would never feel comfortable putting out a donation box. We’ve been to big house parties that charge at the door, which is ok if you know what the cost is prior to the party, but being charged definitely changes the vibe. Particularly when single guys have been invited, charging a fee makes some feel that they are due a good time

If it’s a hotel party we don’t mind chipping in for the cost of the room, but our personal preference when hosting is to never accept cash donations, whether it’s at our home or at a hotel.

One suggestion to help make the snack table match the people.

In another setting we used to have people bring the food.

The only instruction was to bring what they would like to eat X 4. This always led to a sufficiently varied table, except for the time when everyone was really into Danish! Even then everyone was happy. The one healthy food type still had plenty of carrots and broccoli, even if they had brought it themselves.

Curious, do any of you throwing the parties ask for donations? We have been growing our parties for a little over a year now, and while we have managed to keep expenses real low with asking attendees to bring a snack as well as byob. however the last few we have provided more in the form of hot snacks, and seem to be buying a lot more mixers, and supplies. We have been thinking of doing away with asking those coming to bring a snack, and setting up a donation box on the snack table as well as the bar. We understand some may not contribute, but just want to avoid several people bringing a similar snack as our last party we ended up with 4 fruit trays, and more sweets than we would use in the next 6 parties. Thankfully we have a large walk in fridge and was able to put much of it away so it did not go bad, and dropped it off to the local shelter the following day.

I've been paying attention when we attended house parties, as we are hoping to get to a point in our lives when we can host a few couples at our home.
We've only been to themed parties so far, and they have overwhelmingly been successful in the dressing-up department. The last one was a Vegas theme, and my very tall husband almost matched a small man in their costumes. It was pretty funny!

The other one I really liked was the Christmas party (our first). The White Elephant Game was a terrific ice-breaker! Another time, we played games, and that lead to all the bedrooms being over capacity (with nobody complaining) and I had to resort to getting it on in a (very clean, thank you!) bathroom.

I think if you're considering hosting, these folks on the forums know their stuff, and I'm just going to subscribe and see what else y'all can add. Thank you to all the hosts for great advice!

Another thing we do and I am not sure how many others do as well, but whenever a new couple comes to a party we send a thank you the following day. We have found this opens up a dialog as they usually respond with they had a great time, or that they appreciated the invite but was not a fit for them. We had our monthly party last night with over 20 couples in attendance, 12 new to our group. Only 2 have said they had fun but did not feel they would come back as it was not what they were looking for. This is important for us for planning on future parties.

More good information from SCswingingCpl and hotluvrs! Thanks for adding the plastic sheet covers. We attended a party and I played with a young lady attending with a friend. She didn't mention she was a squirter and my goodness did we make a mess. Thank goodness we knew the hosts quite well and the hostess and I stripped and changed the sheets but the mattress was wet and the location was off-limits for the rest of the party!

Thanks again.

Isn't that just like a peanut gallery? Never around when you need one.

What? No response from the peanut gallery? Thought I’d get at least one chuckle for the “The Graduate” reference

Great point hotluvrs, we found out to late.

For a successful party I’ve got one word for you:

Fitted waterproof mattress covers.

You’ll thank me later.

Some GREAT advise already given. We started hosting house parties a little over a year ago with another couple we met. One thing to keep in mind is that while there may be a good number of couples say they will come, reality is some will not make it due to a variety of reasons, and new couples tend to get cold feet at times as is to be expected.

Determine the maximum number of couples you can successfully host, and invite that many, chances are half or just over will actually show up (unless they are friends whom you have already met, and have a connection with).

Themes are fun but only when the core group has been established and use their ideas.

Make sure the areas to be used are clean and free from any odd odors. We went to a house party once and it looked like they had not cleaned up from the last party, needless to say we did not stay. I know this should go without saying but you would be surprised at what we have seen over the years.

At our parties we have various lubes and bowls with condoms, and several packs of baby wipes for a quick clean up.

We have been fortunate to hook up with the other couple as they had already had the party location complete with hot tub, pool, fire pit, a large bar/social area, and play room. They however were having issues getting people to attend. We got together and our regular events now are nothing short of amazing. We host upwards of 25+ couples on a monthly basis now and more new people inquiring every month. Like already said make sure you take time to have fun yourself. Approach the party like you would any other lifestyle event with a no pressure attitude, and things will happen naturally. We have had parties where everyone sat around drinking and talking for hours and only when some stated to leave others decided to get some play going, and other parties everyone was naked and playing in the pool or hot tub within 30 minutes of getting there...

One additional piece of party advice is the hosts should not forget to have some fun, too. We've attended other people's parties where the hosts were so busy taking care of party things they forgot to enjoy themselves. Most people are pretty resourceful so you, as hosts, don't have to attend to everything. You can always have some trusted friends take care of getting more ice or refilling the chip bowl while you engage in a little fun. After a while, our parties could have run themselves as our "core group" knew how things operated at the house!

It seems a small thing but if all you do at your own party is serve as hosts, you will resent it and tend to avoid being hosts in the future. So, don't forget to take some time to play and enjoy your hard work.

I have to agree about keeping it simple. A theme isn’t necessary but if you have one make it very basic. We’ve had some meetNgreets this year. The last one had a cigar and bourbon theme. One had a lobster boil theme. The important thing is that no one had to put in a lot of effort; they just had to show up.

Our last real party had no theme at all and it was epic!

Keep the first one simple but keep it sexy. No need for a specific theme.

Superb info above.

For small parties where the guest list may be solidified a week in advance, consider using Kik messenger (or other) to form a private chat and message forum. Getting introductions done virtually and before the party is key in my opinion.

To keep the chat going, I try to add a participation meme or photo. These are the photos you see on Facebook, etc that provoke participation, dialogues. A simple example is the one that has a list such as A- couple, B- single, C-full swap, D-soft swap…..couples pick the appropriate identifiers and likes.

NNVA, just what we were looking for. I think armed with everybody's help on this subject, hosting a small get together for the first time will be easier. Thanks to all.

OK, we hosted about 4 major house parties a year for 10 years so we may be able to help. You can send a message if you have questions. Here's our basic advice:

1. Do not invite anyone to your house party you don't know or who isn't vouched for by people you trust. You don't need a scene, violence, or bad behavior in your home. Protect yourself against idiots.

1. We've tried themes and they usually don't work out too well! This should be a basic get-together for sex and friendship. We provide the basics of some munchies, water, wine (some), beer (some), and mixers. Guests can bring their favorites and add them to the drink table. We also suggest folks bring some food to share.

1. You need to assemble a guest list.

First, make sure you have invited some people who know each other and who can get the party started. There's nothing worse than a swinger party where no one asks to play because they don't know anyone. You need some surefire party starters! These are folks who also aren't afraid to ask newcomers to play.
Second, remember that shit happens. So, about 80% of those you invite probably can't make it. Just accept it. Of those that accept, about 10-15% will drop out the day of the party (kids are sick, parents called and you have to go, illness, etc.) So, don't assemble the "just right" guest list. You'll end up with a party that just may not work.
Third, take some time at the beginning of the evening to make sure everyone meets everyone. This should be about 30-45 minutes. Explain this to people in an email outlining your house rules. My wife would ring a bell when the "chit-chat portion of the evening was over and it was time to play.)

1. Establish your house rules and let the guests know in advance what they are. Don't assume people will "know what to do." If you don't want people cumming in the hot tub, make sure they know in advance. If you want people to play on the bed's comforter versus the sheets, let them know. If certain areas (kids rooms for example) are off-limits, tell them and mark them with a sign.

1. Make sure you have condoms and lube available at every "workstation" as my wife called them. People forget them or leave them in their clothes at the hot tub and it's a nice thing for the hosts to do. Also, tissues and/or cloth wipes bedside are also a good touch.

1. If you have a finishing time, make sure the guests know it. If you have to pick up the kids or they are coming home at a certain time, you need your rest and time to clean up. The guests should arrive, chat, fuck, and leave at a reasonable time. They are your guests; you don't work for them.

1. Just in case, you need to have a group of friends willing to help take care of someone who steps out of line. I know it's not something we like to think about but sometimes people step over the line. You can't be everywhere. Make sure your good friends are willing to help keep the party on a high note. You don't want some drunken guest causing a ruckus that gives you and your parties a bad reputation in the local swinger community.

1. Figure out where people are going to park. Let them know in advance what to expect when they get to the house.

1. Don't let people take photos/videos of other guests without permission. If people want to play and video their escapades, that's fine as long as everyone is in agreement. However, random photos on someone's phone of people and events aren't cool. Just say no.

1. Make sure you have a place for guests to hang up coats (when it's cold) and store bags. Some people like to change into more provocative attire for parties but don't want to drive wearing high, heels, thigh-highs, and a fur coat!

Those are just a few of the tips from our house party days.

Lol R&K. Yes some background music playing along with the sounds of passion while doing the horizontal limbo. ;-)

Great stuff TD... but wheres the music.. LOL

Dancing with a new partner gets things going almost automatically.. at least for us.

We didn't have a theme. We had a couple blow up mattresses in the bedrooms for use by ladies who may squirt. The beds had waterproof under sheets but we told folks to avoid using them if the ladies squirted. We had mouthwash & cups in the bathrooms as well as wet wipes. Had some towels & extra bed sheets for changing. Everyone was experienced so all it takes is one couple to start the fun & the others soon follow. There's about an hour of so of socializing before the fun starts.

TomandDiane, thanks for chiming in on the subject. We are interested in hosting a small party, no more than 2 other couples besides ourselves: 6 total. So how did you set up the 'house' to hold the party? Was there places that were off limits? Did everyone get a tour as they arrived? Did you have a theme, or just come as they wanted to dress? Was there a place to 'hold' clothing not party related (like overcoats or vanilla clothing)? In the bedrooms, did you have accessories (lube, condoms, towels, etc) placed? Same with the restrooms? Is that too much to consider for such a small party?

And then, how does the action start? Hosts start with each other as conversations continue? Or is it more, because most know each other, that play happens when it is felt? Not a scientist towards these subject, but want to have a firm idea of what we would be getting into.