Getting rid of newbie stigma

My ex begged me for a year before I agreed to go out with his friend. I thought he had lost his mind when he first hinted around about me being with another man.

I like this story.

Mrs F&H is quite nervous about meeting people online. Just not something she is used to so I've been the one on the site. Found a few hotel takeovers on a date we were free. We looked over the attendee list and she picked the one she was most comfortable with. We drove out, we were holding hands for much of the driver, she'd bounce my hand on the shift lever telling me she was nervous. I told her I was too but that I met some people online and the vibe seemed warm, welcoming, zero pressure and chill. J despite her nervousness is often a life of the party girl. She brought sexy themed outfits. She made her own ugly Christmas sweater, we brought a dish for the pot luck. We immersed ourselves in the moment as much as possible.

As luck would have it due to some issues beyond our control, she could not play really. We met SO many warm and friendly people. Everything was as warm welcoming, pressure free and chill as we were told. We had a great time dancing and chatting with quite a few couples. One of the couples we loved our time with even gave us a cert because they enjoyed our company, conversation and could tell we were genuine.

The weekend got us so hot there was still an after glow a week later. We booked the next event on the way home. :) We are lucky enough to have FWB that get it and we came home and could tell them all about it.

So while we kinda just fell into it w/ our FWB, or initiating to broadening our circle of LS friends was a hotel takeover. We already feel like we are making new friends. :)

The first year or so, is getting out there and meeting people. We hit a lot of parties when we started. We found it better to meet in a group environment. Be warned, many are not as advertised.

Now, you need to figure out what you are looking for. What you will do, what you won't do.

It took us 2 years to figure it all out. Other than protection, we have no rules. We go with the flow, and we have a great time.

You will know real soon if this is for you or not.

My girlfriend and I do have some experience, however I am finding it difficult to get replies from hardly anyone. We are new to the site and are new to the club scene. How does one meet others on this site?

IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY

I am more modest then Havin. i just flex my massive muscles and look the ladies in the eyes with my beautiful baby blues and they melt into my arms.

What the Fokk are you talking about?

FOKKERS aka UNFUCKERS. Thinking of me? I challenge you to meet me in an unrelated place and we will ask strangers who is YOUNGER.
I get taken for 50 every day, Full head of hair. I will work you to death on my construction site and end up stealing your lady with my WOOD.

Why do I have a feeling he is old, obese and not really a swinger. Only swinging he does is his belly.

ncal, "Only around 10% of the couples are real swingers. only half of those are not obese or old." FAST FOOD JOINTS, nationwide.

Just keep looking swinging is almost dead and gone now. Only around 10% of the couples are real swingers. only half of those are not obese or old.

Just do it.

We have a new cert from a 34 year old newbie couple. They looked at my abomination of a profile, and decided they wanted us. We are their first, and took them to a club for the their first time, which they thoroughly enjoyed. That's cuz I'm good, bitchez! ;)

Marcuspollo 07/15/18
Amazing couple! Fun, informative if your new and so easy to be around, polite and funny! In the club or in the bedroom you will be beyond happy!

Deustche m, the easiest way to take that first step is put one foot in front of the other.

Go to a club, DJ’s is near you and when I lived in that area 4 years ago it was quite popular. Chat with people and exchange profile names and even if you don’t play, email the ones you had fun chatting with and ask if they would be willing to certify you.

A cert for a new couple goes a long way toward letting others know you are legit and people will be more receptive to meeting you.

It goes without saying that the more fun, flirty and drama free you are at the club, the more likely you are to meet and get a cert from a couple or two.

Good luck!

~S~

As newbies we all have fantasies, we pillow talk about them, like a child waiting for Christmas morning we can barely contain ourselves. Then you find yourself in the situation and some fly right through. But then you have those who look over and see that their partner has a cock in their mouth and all of a sudden those crazy fantasy feelings get thrown out the window and feelings of jealousy, feeling of sadness kick in like nitro on a street racer. Sometimes in all that fantasy talk, that scenario doesn’t get taken into consideration. What do you do? How do you get through it? How do you react? Sometimes there is the storming off, attitude— that is why some don’t like to play with newbies or LS play virgins. Nobody wants to be in that situation. It’s awkward.

This is how i fee you should react that first time.

You look over and see your partner totally engaged with the other half of the other couple. You get to excited, you can’t take your eyes off of what you’re looking at because it’s getting your motor revving up higher and higher. In this situation you already good to go. Green light.

If after looking over something bothers you, you don’t quite know what it is, can't put a finger on it, but it’s not sitting completely perfect with you. You may want to stop, don’t make a scene, just excuse yourself and your partner. Stop before the situation reaches a level that you can’t recover from. Talk about it with your partner, try to find what bothered you, it may not be a complete deal breaker, you may have some reservations and you may he have to revisit and revise your rules and boundaries. Consider this a yellow light — proceed with caution.
Now if you look over and you just explode (in a bad way) , you can’t stand to see what you are seekng. You’re feelings are dropping faster then the Dow in a sell off, just stop, try to not make a scene and leave. Like with the yellow caution Best to not go any farther and do something you will seriously regret and not be able to recover from. Talk about it as well, and if I’m talking you can not reconcile your feelings, then swinging and the LifeStyle may not be for you. This is a Red light, STOP!
In the last two scenarios do not make the situation uncomfortable for the other couple/single. If the issue is with you (and your partner) keep it that way. Don’t make the other couple/single feel awkward or as if they did something wrong.

Now there are some couples that welcome newbies all the time, they want to be LS ‘Sires’. Be careful with those as well, no one should feel like they are being hunted as well. The couples you want to seek are those who will respect your boundaries and rules, will be ever cognizant of the fact that this may be your first time and will operate as such to avoid situations that could be harmful to you and your partners relationship.

My feelings on this, as usual your mileage may vary...

You will see it in several profiles and in the eyes of some at parties or clubs. Some couples don't want to play with newbies for one or many reasons. Others on the other hand have no problem in helping others at getting settled in. Jealousy and other emotions are commonly the biggest objection because many new couples are sidelined by it. The first time or two in a full swap or watching someone else with your spouse can be hard, exciting, amazing, unnerving, etc. If someone freezes up amid play many people can be super frustrated because they spent time and money for an opportunity that didn't work out. We have seen this but we don't mind it too much. Many who are anti-newbie have had a bad experience or two in the past and don't want to repeat it. The best remedy may be to simply be calm, confident, and respectful at a club or party.

Having trouble with first time playing. Seems like everyone wants an experienced couple. I understand the concern with a new couple, drama, unexpected, etc.... this is not us. We are all in! How do we overcome this stigma and let an experienced couple know all is good?