Getting her to try the lifestyle

:)

Get ready for some heavy feedback on that one.

@OP, best bet is to either force her to jump in or surprise her one night with a 3some. It always works lol

It really comes down to openness and honesty with your partner. If you have a good sex life which is playful and includes fantasies and maybe toys, this is really just the next step. Done together carefully and seeking out possible play partners that do appeal to both of you is important. We married later in life far from being virgins and it really came down to understanding that sharing this activity would be great for us. and it has been

One thing I found out is how different cocks are when a guy reaches his 50's...some are still so hard and full of cum and some just worthless..

I do wonder why most women are so content with one guy...Figure most aren't really interested is sex, just do it to keep the man from straying...

Once, before we got into LS we were out for dinner. Had about a half hour wait. We were texting back and forth goofing off. There were three really good looking girls working the desk. I texted her, "Which one would you like to take home with us?" She played alone and picked one out. After we were seated at our table the gjrl she picked came to our table. The wifes eyes got big as silver dollars. She thought I'd set something up. Really the girl was just bringing my wifes hat she'd left In waiting area. Maybe that planted the idea because out first experience was girl/girl play.

Duck Quote" Women run the show, and in this case, the woman has the man she wants and finds the girls she likes".

So we are not on a swinging site to go back and forth.. but in YOUR WORDS ..yes we are talking abut swinging and ones marriage swinging.. once again..we have been swingers well over 25 years and married.. Both have a say so in all and dont need to rethink or say what we want.. if you think thats what happens in your marriage and people you have met.. good for you. Its your journey.

For "us" If one doesnt like or have chemistry with the other we dont swing priod.

No, it's not the case that in marriage a woman runs the show. How'd you get that out of what I wrote?

In swinging, it looks to me like women are into it because of a bi interest, and it works really well for bisexual women: they get a man plus a woman.

Of course this is a real issue for straight-straight couples.

We've talked but have done zero. She's still cogitating about it. Put off by prospect of disease and potential damage to intimacy.

With straight men and bi-women, it's almost a no brainer. Women run the show, and in this case, the woman has the man she wants and finds the girls she likes.

I agree, I'm new here and most of the women are right here. We have been together for 25 years and you to know your partner. They have to just you in and out.
I have been wanting to bring in others for 15 years, so I brought it up and she laughed at first and I just let it go.
Over the years with no pressure from me at all and not driving home every day it has opened up the idea.

We usually do the eye candy thing when out and about who we would do? guy and women, you to be open.
And leave it alone, maybe talk about it later as it was fun to joke around, but if she is at least playing that game there might be a chance. You should be happy with your wife and let her know how important she is.
For us, it's become a more normal conversation as I asked two weeks ago again. I asked this. " Is the threesome thing or couple thing ever gonna happen?"
I was dead serious when I asked, her reply was " I'm not saying it won't ever happen, I just want it to happen naturally" So there was my answer than I said "well you have to make it happen somewhat. it s not like people are advertising it." I said we would have to use a dating app" So there it is and I'm here. Sorry for the typos.

We just let it happen. When we talk to couples we date, the topic usually comes up the first time. And, mostly it has been the husband that initiated a discussion about it. I think that would be a very difficult conversation to have. My husband and I had a very sexually charged relationship and I had seen wife swap and girl girl videos. I did show some interest in the idea of experimenting with another woman. At least I was willing to make out or let her go down on me.

We decided to go to a strip club as a sexual diversion and I could fool around with the girls if I was brave enough. My husband searched out a club that would be upscale and he discovered an adult swingers club. It's a very popular one near Fort Lauderdale, FL. Soooooooooo, we decided to go...just to watch. Ha! Yeah right. We left at 3AM. I had never felt so ripe and satisfied in a dirty way from having so many men stick their pretty cocks in me.

It was a bit silent on the ride home. Didn't know what to say. I masturbated and got myself off going down the highway. And that was it. We never looked back and have been swinging and more ever since.

The OP hasn't been online since 2 days after his original question, but I'm sure others are asking themselves the same question.

The answer is that you can't "convince" her and setting something up without telling her is always a bad idea.

She has to be comfortable in her own mind in order for this to be successful. So answer her questions, help her find answers that will resolve her doubts and work through it together. In the end know that she still may not be interested but she has the right to make that choice.

For us it happened maybe four months into dating.. when you reach that point and ask, "So what else are you into / is on your bucket list?" I let her know I'd like to see her do me and another guy at the same time; with all the attention on her. She thought I was nuts.. but went along. It was super hot and we did that for years. But we were unusual in that the first ten years that's all we did and in that time we only met three guys total. After that we started going to clubs and hotel parties and meeting couples. It's a lot more challenging to find a 4 way match than it is to make a threesome work.

Hotel parties and big, themed club events are the best because you can get together three our four couples for better mixing and matching. Plus, we love dressing up for back to school night, Halloween, New Years Eve, etc. Hotel parties are like a mini vacation.

With my ex i mentiined it one night and she was interested and it went from there. It was always her and another man with me watching and i regret not joinimg. Current girlfriend loves women and has no problem with me playing with them also but she doesnt want another guy. My thing is I really want to see her with another guy. Work in progress....

Ohyah,

What have been the tone of your conversations? Had you been able to get to the reasons why she might be cold to the idea?

I certainly would like to know. she runs either VERY hot and willing to swing or VERY cold on it.

If you've been doing this on the sly, you're basically fucked. Successful swinging rests on a foundation of love, trust and honesty. So, while you could theoretically have a conversation where you talked about your desires and fantasies and also what you've done to date to fulfill them, in practice that probably won't go well.

But if you're speaking of a future relationship, have one where you can talk about everything and so can she. And then be completely honest about what you fantasize about.

Aww nhdoc blocked us. Seems the doc can’t take his medicine.

~rabbit ~

And before you take the next stupid step in a possible reply, YES, I'm JUDGING you!

Two possibilities here.

1. Your profile is full of shit and you're lying about swinger experience in the hopes of getting some.

1. That's real experience and you're a cheating asshole.

Either way, you're a liar and a shithead. You're either lying to other swingers, or lying to your wife.

What rabbit said. Post of the day. lol

“I’m sure their isn’t one approach but there must be a few suggestions.”

Have a sit down honest heart to heart talk with her.

~Allen

Start by coming clean and telling her you’ve been cheating on her.

If she hasn’t stabbed you in the spleen or chased you out of the house with a shotgun you can then try to start an open dialogue about joining you in swinging.

~rabbit ~

I know I can’t be the only one, but how others get their wives or girlfriends interested in trying the lifestyle. I’m sure their isn’t one approach but there must be a few suggestions. Just looking for help on this?