Tammy and I are still working on finding what works for us, but we both get on here and will leave notes for each other if we are interested in a couple. We work long hours a few days a week so when we get home there are much more pressing things to discuss than "hey what did you think of that couple on SLS?" I tend to have more time due to working for myself, and do most of the initial communicating. Once initial contact has been made, we consider schedules and try to set something up for a face to face, or group chat. IF the other couple has excuse after excuse for not meeting or not having a conversation (we prefer video) with all 4 then we simply move on. I will say this, we have seen guys claiming to be married and having multiple KIK accounts in female names which is why live video or face to face is best. We have set meets with couples where the guy shows up with a lame excuse for why his wife is not there, we simply remind him our position, and leave. We have actually stopped looking to set things up here as well as other lifestyle sites. Instead we have found the best way to actually meet real couples is to attend events, parties, and meet and greets. We have even met some couples at non lifestyle events.
Does this happen a lot?
1) We get it that not everyone shares grocery duties; some people just eat what gets brought home to them, ie... making it easier for you to send a reply of interest or lack of, since she clearly doesn't participate in any communications.
2) Too busy to discuss an interest or too busy to say hi; all it takes is 3 seconds to send a reply, as you said, for an individual to send either in a group chat like Kik or text...…….
That's funny you to think I have been sitting in wait. Try to split it up all you want.
:-)
You aren't any busier than anyone else.
~Allen
2 things
1st - Not changing any scenarios. The first scenario was about not receiving a response to an initial contact. It takes 3 seconds to type "Thank you but we're not interested" and hit send. In fact, you only need to type it once if you set it up as a quick reply and use that going forward.
This scenario is about an ongoing conversation which, the way the rest of us do it, takes a little longer.
2nd - How long have you been holding onto that waiting to throw it back at me? Long enough that you jumped the gun and used it in the wrong scenario. Has that been running around in your head daily? Is it gone now?
I really hope you can find something other than some perceived online slight to obsess on now.
Umm, no, not apples to oranges and this time is no exception to the rule by trying to change the scenario to suit yourself.
I made an example reference to a poster, when the question arose why people don't reply, as being we were too busy to reply and it must have slipped by us. You stepped in and said we are no busier than everyone else and referenced us as being rude for not replying. You say your wife is too busy, but just like you, I believe you're wife is no busier than us and yet we both still find time to participate equally.
It is Apples to Apples and I thought I would just return your stone. I am finding it humorous, but like Mickie D's, have it your way.
;-)
~Allen
Apples and Oranges.
You're talking about a 1 time "not interested" message from one person in the couple vs an active, ongoing conversation.
I do find it interesting you say she doesn’t have time to participate in communications after previously telling me that “being too busy” was not a reason for not replying.
I’ll just leave it as it is. ;-)
Moving along........
OP: We both communicate online and we both communicate with each other if we are interested. If it is only one communicating, we have no interest.
~Allen
We're just like SWBurb. I do almost all of the chatting. The Mrs. Is not interested in it at all. Even with folks we've met and played with several times. She just doesn't have time.
So, yeah, we get it. But there is no blanket rule that covers everyone or every scenario.
We find it’s helpful to require BOTH parties be engaged in texting or kik,whatever. We get sometimes BOTH can’t be on the phone but when you start getting,”she doesn’t get in her much” or some other annoying BS,I leave the chat.
Even with couples, most of the time, you will be communicating with the guy. That doesn't mean that they are a fake couple.
The Mrs is aware of every communication and Forum post. She does on rare occasion post in the Forums. She just wants to go out and meet people. She has no interest in dealing with the fakes and flakes. So, as the ambassador, that's my job.
We got tired of the no-show rate a long time ago. With few exceptions, we try to arrange to meet at an upcoming meet-and-greet where there will be other couples around to hang with should the new couple flake out. Luckily, there are plenty such events in our area, though this might be a problem in rural areas.
We don't do Kik for the reason(s) noted earlier. I have a second (free) Google Voice number I can use for conversation and texting if I don't want to use my main cell number.
Many couples, we included, use one as the "screener". In our case, I'm the screener and ask my wife to check out the profiles of folks who contact us. Should we both agree, we're both cool with talking with both members of the couple who initiated contact. Agree that when only the guy is the communicator, that raises a red flag.
Lastly, if you don't want single guys contacting you, simply block them from viewing your profile from your profile editing menu. Easy-peasy.
Oh yes many fakes on SLS.. we have learned since being on SLS.. we chat on email, we set up a phone conversation with ALL people and if we have some chemistry we meet. If we get along we play on the first meet.. we keep it simple and have been burned several times from SLS singles and couples.. and we later find out they are not true swingers. Those with multiple excuses time after time.. drop them and move on.
We usually take it mean that it’s not a true couple at all. Yes, there are married men on the site whose wives are not on board and when push comes to shove, they disappear. I was chatting with a woman the other day on kik, but after a few exchanges it became very clear that it was a male. I think people steal pictures (like screenshots from Facebook) and use those as their own . There are a lot of “picture collectors” who will kik with you just to get dirty pics! We are very cautious now and will not kik unless they turn on the video chat for a minute first and we can see both people!
It’s amazing how many couples we meet on this page. But when we try to set something up they either ignore us, or, if we start messaging on Kik it’s always the guy. It’s getting a little frustrating, we are in adventurous couple looking for other adventurous couples . It shouldn’t be that difficult. And yet, we put together dates and they either don’t show up, or once we really show interest to set something up, they disappear. And don’t get me started on all the single males that message and email us, even though write in our profile it says couples and groups. How often does this happen to you?