did we miss something?

There are a number of people (like us) that don't mind forward couples, to a point. There is a line that can be crossed and it is not always clear where that is because everyone is different. Take me for example. If a girl came up to me and grabbed my package and asked if she could take that thing for a spin I'd likely be all in...lol I do have friends that are that forward, but it's of course different that first time.

Like anything else there are different ways of delivering the same message, While the girl in my above example would be an exception, generally people can cross that line is if they come across as being all and only about the sex. Hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. It's like EVERYTHING they say is strictly about sex. In that case, there isn't a lot of conversation and, unless we both find someone hot, the answer is generally "No". Yeah, we do actually say "No" to people once in a while. Crazy, huh? ;-)

It is OK to let people know that you feel awkward asking. Sometimes we'll answer the unasked question by saying something like, "Not sure how you feel about us but our answer would be YES, just so you know". It lets the others know there's interest but doesn't put them on the spot or come across as being too forward. We generally just carry on with our conversation after, but sometimes the others will say, "Want to get a room?", or "Glad you asked."

It does help to keep in mind what you are at a swinger party for and the thought that others are likely there for the same reason. Of course the primary reason to do any of this is to have fun, and that can happen with or without sex. So, if you missed a signal/opportunity and still had fun, mission accomplished. It's a smaller LS world than a lot of people realize and very likely you will run into the same people again.

Don't feel to bad, BOTH of us are totally oblivious to people flirting with us...even in this environment! We think most folks here have had (at least) one or two experiences where everyone was getting along but no one knew how to "break the ice". But don't view it as a "missed opportunity"; instead we viewed it as a learning opportunity and figured out how to ask key questions or let them know we're interested in allowing things to progress further. If anything it points to the fact that there chivalry still has a place "in the lifestyle" and that suits us just fine!

Yup, you probably missed a play opportunity. You definitely should not kick yourselves over this. Especially as newbies, I’d much rather you err on the side of too little, rather than too much. It can be hard to interpret someone’s clues, but you’ll get better each time.

We usually don’t ask point blank. If we think someone is interested, we’ll toss out an invitation. For example, in the middle of a conversation we might say “we think you are amazing. we would welcome the chance to get naked with you”, and then we’d continue with our conversation. This way, we don’t feel like we are putting them on the spot, and there’s less chance of an awkward silence. If they are interested, the conversation comes back around to getting naked.

By the way, love the new profile main photo.

Yeah, it sounds like they were interested and maybe waiting for you to make the first move. The advice you got already is valid so lesson learned, right?

If you would like to see them again, the party host would usually have everyone’s contact info. Do you remember the couple’s names? If so, reach out to the host and let them know that you would like them to give your contact info to that couple.

It’s a long shot but if nothing else, you are getting your name out there as someone open to playing.

~Scamp

You may have missed an opportunity. Not to worry, there will be more. Congrats on getting yourself out there, and not waiting here online to have someone approach you. Congrats on not being wall flowers at a party. You guys are on the right track., BTW, this IS dating all over again. But different.

All is not lost. Although, if the party was last weekend, it is too late. If the party was listed here under Hot Date, you can check the Attendees list. But even then, only half of the profiles list there. The list is posted for 2 days after the event, except on the end of the month. Then search the profiles. This is why it's important to have a descriptive profile, with pics of you both. You maybe be able to find them there.

This has worked in the past for us. You meet a great couple, and on the way home you realize that we don't even know their names.

Many couples will do the same parties. We think of it as being "On tour" So, you might see them at the next party.

As newbies, this is how you build a network. Enjoy your journey. Good Job !!!!

Probably one of the hardest things when people are having a good time is just for someone to say something like, "Want to play?" Worst that can happen is they say No, but if there was that type of interaction we've definitely been there and found out after we all wished someone would have just asked.

Even if they're "We don't play on the 1st date types", it lets them know you're interested and it never hurts to just ask if they're online and what their online name is. You could even ask the question as, "Would you guys be interested in playing sometime?". I've asked that before and had people come back with, "How about now?" All this is of course assuming you guys are OK playing on a first date.

You need to be a tad more direct. If you met, you liked and you wanted further contact - you will need to ask for contact information (inquire who their online persona is and clarify which website they may belong to). OR, you can take a page out of our book—- when at an event/party and you make a sizzling connection, ask them if they would be comfortable taking things to a more private setting now or if they prefer scheduling another time to have a playdate.

Mrs U

So my wife and I went to a party last week and had a blast. We ended up meeting a couple and had a great time conversing, my wife and her were dancing all night and every time the other girl was around me she would touch me when she spoke to me. Now, I have been with my wife for 18 years and frankly I forgot how to date. From the women in here, did I miss any tell? Did my wife miss anything? I am used to being direct so I am not sure if we missed something here and lost an opportunity with a great couple? I wish we would have gotten their contact information because we had a real great time with them. I have to admit this was the first time my wife and I did anything like this. and I mean first time. First swinger party, first time even considering it etc. We weren't looking for sex but if it happened it happened type of thing. We were more interested in seeing what was going on and meeting people but at the same time we are wondering if we missed something.