Having a drink or dinner is for the purpose of determining attraction and interest. Once someone says, “Let’s get a room,” and all agree, then it’s all on, period. I mean, what did you get the room for? Sex. If you still wanted to chat or play games, do that before you get to the bedroom. Start with your own partner if you like. It will evolve quickly.
After going to the room and chatting for only maybe 5 minutes (max), take the other couple’ s woman in your arms, give her a slow, gentle, prolonged kiss. Then, gently touch her breasts. She should hav a big smile on her face, so just go from there. Don’t be shy; that’s what you’re there for.
SLO
One of our favorites is naughty Jenga. Take a jenga game and number the blocks. I think we divided ours in half, so there is two of each number. Then make a numbered list of fun things to do. We like using numbers, because you can make different lists. Mild to wild. Plus it easy to edit at any time.
It may seem awkward at first, but the moment that ice is broke, everything is game on. For us, since we live in a small town and usually have to travel up to an hour to meetup with another couple, we don't do the dinner/drink date. We usually get a group chat going, get acquainted, exchange a few pics, and once everyone is on the same page and the vibe is mutual between us and the other couple, we plan a day to either go to their place or split a hotel room. Upon meeting the couple, we will hang out and chat for like 10 minutes (both couples are usually nervous/excited) but cloths usually start coming off slowly, usually the two gals will do some playing for the guys and after a few minutes, the guys get in on the action with each of the ladies.
This is not how every interaction goes for us, but most of them follow something like this. It has worked for us pretty well. The group chatting leading up to the meetup gets everyone familiar with one another, we all learn what the others like and don't like. Discuss any boundaries, discuss any testing and if the play with be bare or rubbered up. So getting all this discussed beforehand makes the initial meet a lot smoother and leads to playtime happening pretty much within minutes of getting comfortable in the hotel room.
"Its that easy.. as also stated we know within 10 minutes if we have some chemistry"
Less than that for me, but yes. It doesn't take long before you know if you want to play or not, and every single time I've gone against my gut feeling in the first few minutes, I've regretted it.
We ONLY meet people at swinger events, clubs and parties. I absolutely love the thrill of the chase and the catch in that type of environment. In that scenario, it's the person with the biggest balls that prevails, and the person with the biggest "balls" isn't always one of the men. So when you do it that way, you have established that you want to fuck, and when you get to the room, yeah, you just get naked and attack each other.
When we connect with someone of interest we will usually meet for at least a drink and if things are going well possibly a meal. If the interest is there for all parties whether a single guy or a couple we may go back to their place or ours. Usually doesn't take long for the wife to start playing with either the guy or female depending a single or couple. From there it is game on.
After attraction is established. It's been games and conversation for me. If the husband is an interesting person and responds to the things that I like, we break the touch barrier. For instance, I like my hair played with so I'll tell him. If he responds with "show me how you like it"... that turns me on. My other half moves either too quickly when he's mutually attracted to a woman or too slowly. I've come out of the bathroom and his face is buried between her legs. LOL
We are swingers, no need to be coy... We are here for fun sex and connection.
We have been using video chat for quite a few first meets , as far as breaking the ice, We usually have a great time when we meet in person just talking about ourselves and themselves. Keep it light and topical , then down to how did you meet ect, how long or how did you start in the Lifestyle.
After a bit and after me and my lady agree we want to proceed to play , I just go out and ask.. you guys wanna play? Then go to the play room and dip into the hot tub and away we go!
I like the idea of simply talking about sex. Even when discussed in the most clinical of terms, sex talk gets me in the mood. Talk about sex leads to stories, and questions, and before you know it a nipple slips, and we’re off to the races.
I will add a few thoughts, some beyond the scope of your question, but applicable to the scenario you described for a first meeting.
One - We never commit to a dinner for a first meet. Never. In reality, within the first 10 minutes all will have a pretty good idea of attraction. Within the first drink, certainly by the second, all have a pretty good idea if personalities are clicking and the evening will likely proceed. You do not want to get seated, get busy putting in a food order, then decide long before the food comes out, they are not a good match. Keep the first meeting to drinks only.
Two - For your actual question on how things things "start" once all get to the bedroom? That usually happens very naturally. Almost always we are meeting with a couple with a bi-girl. Really bi, not just "put on a show bi". The girls are into each other, but they also have an innate understanding that their husband like to see this play, so the girls almost always seem to get the party started. The husbands tend to stay back a bit for a while and watch the girls, but slowly are also getting undressed, offering a comment or a caress, and shortly one of the girls will look at one of the guys and say "bring that hard cock over here" (or at least words to that effect). There are hundreds of variables in the actual details, but after 20 years we have seen some version of this play out almost every time when meeting a new couple.
Three - Games might be a good icebreaker at some parties, but frankly we have never seen them add any value except possibly to VERY new, very inhibited people. Meeting new people at house parties seems to go along the same line as any first meet. The two of you get to talking with another couple and again, within a short period, it is usually obvious to all if there is a 4 way connection. Leaving the central space of the party for a bedroom is much like leaving a bar for a hotel room. Once both couples are comfortable and attracted, things usually just happen naturally.
Four - Another comment related to planning. Do not over-plan. Certainly discuss beforehand with everyone what your interests and limits are. "We really like it when XYZ happens, but we will not do ABC". Use these as guidelines however not as a script. The best times just happen. Sadly, you cannot tell most of your friends about it later LOL.
