Picked up while grocery shopping

"Pretty sure I couldn't get away with an elbow to any woman who groped me."

Maybe yes, maybe no. I definitely got more grace for hitting a woman than a man would, but I think there is some awareness - at least at all the consent discussions that I've been a party to in the last few years - that women can be predatory and it's just as wrong.

In my case, it happened in a sex club and I had to explain myself to management. It didn't hurt that the woman kept complaining that she'd only whatevered and what was the big deal. My defense was "reflex." She got tossed for the night with a warning that she'd lose her membership if she did it again, while I got a 'it probably wouldn't work to ask you to think before reacting' non-consequence.

"Pretty sure I couldn't get away with an elbow to any woman who groped me."

Yeah, me either. I just pull away if I'm not interested.

Yeah, it's happened more than once, but never at a grocery store.

"At least one woman has taken an elbow to the gut for using that perceived pass to grope me."

Pretty sure I couldn't get away with an elbow to any woman who groped me.

Just sayin'...

"Someone flashed you during a pizza delivery?"

Heh. No. My employment history does not include pizza delivery.

I vividly remember the first time - it was on a dance floor and I had to explain why I'd assaulted a woman (grabbing women by the pussy is apparently not a strictly male activity) - but I'm pretty sure it happened more than once.

@Window

@Funly I hold the door open for anyone. So is it really worth overthinking?

there was nothing to over think, she was a very angry miserable person. She has not change the way I treat anyone. I will still hold a door for a man or a woman and if they don't like it, that is their problem not mine.

@Molly
Someone flashed you during a pizza delivery?

"This is one of those "pussy pass" situations where women can misbehave in a way that men normally cannot."

At least one woman has taken an elbow to the gut for using that perceived pass to grope me. It's not at the level of being placed on a sex offender registry, but it's not nothing either.

I wasn’t obvious enough to get in trouble. Short silk robe and i “accidentally” dropped the money.

"No but i used to scare pizza boys by “accidentally” flashing them."

This is one of those "pussy pass" situations where women can misbehave in a way that men normally cannot. Pretty sure any flashing of myself to delivery women would result in a visit from the police.

"and the woman got pissy and unpleasant about having a door held open for her"

If I see someone coming in behind me I hold the door open for them irrespective of who they are. Sort of a 3 second rule - I'm not going to stand there holding a door forever for someone who is a mile away, although I will extend that window if I can see they are carrying something, have small children, or otherwise could obviously use a hand.

I've never once had a negative reaction to that.

That is better than any tip.

No but i used to scare pizza boys by “accidentally” flashing them.

WindowShopping, have you every had playtime with the grocery delivery guy, or gal?

I have my groceries delivered. I prefer a controlled approach.

No one looks good in fluorescent lighting.

No one.

Twice in the past ten years I (husband) have been approached by women. Once when I was 55 and again at 58. In each case the woman was about 70, in great shape, wearing a nice dress/outfit, it was about 8:30 a.m. on a Tuesday or Wednesday. The most-recent time I was browsing in the meat section and she walked up to me with a nice, big, steak and said it had been so long she forgot how to cook one. I smiled but had too much going on- important things to do- and didn't have time even for that kind of fun distraction. So I hinted the internet has some amazing recipe sites, wished her good luck, and kept going. it's rare, but it does happen.

@Funly I hold the door open for anyone. So is it really worth overthinking?

Now when someone touches me without my permission and says “you can’t blame a guy for trying?” I think that door should be slammed in their face.

The thing is, too many men will use any helpfulness to get their “foot in the door.”

Sometimes people just want to get things accomplished.

The grocery store is apparently a location for more than food shopping.

May you have productive produce shopping and find the juiciest delicacies. ; )

Catching up on this thread and Just had an Animal House moment; Eric Stratton and Mrs Dean Wormer in the produce section… and Steve Martin in the frozen food section in My Blue Heaven…

When I shop, I usually stand in front of the mango and papaya section in my local Whole Foods and hope one of the Pilates clients from the studio across the street with take pity on me. To date, I’ve had 3 very helpful women help me figure out which ones are the juiciest and 5 others offer to help me pick out the rest of my produce, but no one’s tried to pick me up, dagnabbit!

Guess I’m going back to turning two large cans of Dole pineapple juice upside down in my cart…

Wish me luck!

BT

Next time you guys see a sexy women at the grocery, in passing (not in a creepy way), try to make eye contact and just smile at her or say hello or hi with a smile. You should be able to tell what she is all about then.

I can say why I personally don’t, I simply have too much to lose ?????

In the past my wife has allowed me to play by myself.
Weighing the pros and cons, it’s just not worth it. If I knew a woman was a hotwife or lifestyle adjacent I’d take a shot for sure, but without that, and assuming she’s vanilla, she could ruin my life. If I’m judged to not be attractive enough, or overly aggressive, or in any way offend or anger this woman she can on her word alone have me thrown in jail pending charges. All she has to do is make an accusation.
I have land, a wonderful home full of happy, healthy children, a wonderful relationship with my father and literally the best woman I’ve ever known is my wife, oh and I love my job so much I might actually do it for free if I were otherwise wealthy lol.
I could lose all of that from a single baseless accusation.

It’s just not worth it. If I want strange, we seek it here.

@Peg - Happy to serve as Scamp’s dueling second for MSY pick-ups, along with tossing your baggage in the overhead bin. One question though; is the emergency exit still off-limits? I know a florist who can get me roses on the cheap. {ducks to avoid the flying frying pan or hard-cased carry-on…}

BT

@BT, You can lift my fucking luggage any day. One of the best parts of my trips to NOLA is Scamp waiting at the bottom of the airport escalator with open arms, that first give me a giant hug and then relieve me of my suitcase and bag. Pure heaven.

The thought that any man can't lift my luggage more quickly and easily into the overhead than I, is just silly. I surely CAN do it, but I don't have to make that point any longer.

It has been a very long time since a female has "chastised" me for holding a door. I mostly get some level of appreciation. Though there are some that project an air of entitlement.

I don't fly as much as I used to. Guess I was lucky in that I don't recall anyone getting pissy over me offering help with luggage.

Baggage claim is an interesting place for people watching. No where near as fun as being on a NOLA balcony with great food and libations. But it does pass the time.

This thread had me thinking about airplane etiquette, if that’s even a thing anymore. I’ve learned through dirty looks and nasty responses that it’s never ok to ask someone if they need help lifting their container ship-size rolling luggage into the overhead. Thankfully, it didn’t take but one or two experiences for me to rescript to “Would you like a hand? or May I help you? To Peppa’s point, just because someone can, it doesn’t mean that they should have to.

As for holding doors, I’ll always err on the side of do vs don’t.

Hasta luego!

BT

Peppa, I agree. It's only happened to me the one time, but if it happens once, it's likely to happen a few times to others. Luckily, it's rare