Our Fantasy

You were not alone we would like to find the same type of thing

My thought was somewhat along the lines of EAs. Is this a fantasy or a goal?

If it does happen, does that mean you would then become exclusive? It is OK if that's the case, but then you also need to find someone that's willing to be exclusive. That can get way harder than just finding a 4-way connection.

A lot of people get into the LS because they enjoy the variety aspect of it. You could find that you or the other couple want more variety than just one other couple after a while, So much is determined by your outlook.

For example, ours is that this is all just recreational sex. For us, we view this like someone vanilla might view bowling. We're the type that if we just met someone at a bar and enjoyed their company and were going from the bar to bowling, we'd invite them to join us. We're pretty much that way in the LS too.

Isn't what you are looking for, basically, close friends that you can fuck?

I am not trying to shoot down your fantasy. I am trying to be a little pragmatic about it. We have been in the lifestyle since the early 90s and we were in our 20s. Your fantasy is something we have heard numerous times over the years. Our take on it is a little different.

Where are YOU in life and where are the other couple in life at? When we heard this in our 20s, we were like, fuck you. We have our kid and NO way are we doing anything like this. In all this time, only one person in the lifestyle has ever met our kid. Now I realize you are basically our age, chances are you could be empty nesters. But the point still stands. You now have to find someone who is also an empty nester. Sure, you may find someone who has teenagers, but you will find scheduling to be very hard between the two couples then. The reason why one person met our kid? She had two kids, the same sex as ours, one was 1.5 years older and the other a few months. She was at the same point with KIDS in her life as we were.

Now, you also need to find something that is like solving a Rubik's cube without knowing the secrets :) The guys need to get along and have the same outlook on things and probably share a few of the same hobbies. The women need the same thing. Then people need to find the other's attractive enough to want to fuck. Then you want to find someone who is probably what you are looking for, exclusive.

This is why I am saying, it is possible, but it is really really really hard.

I realize our way is not the only way and it may work for others, but it does work for us. We have learned to split 'straight' friends from lifestyle friends. Straight friends tend to be friends based upon shared interests. This could be a hobby or work or something similar. Lifestyle people, well, being crass, we are there to exchange bodily fluids. We are friendly, but we are not friends. This is when we start. Now, in time, we may develop a friendship. That friendship is probably not as deep as the straight friends in some aspects, but it is probably deeper in other aspects.

Ironically, this is a sort of topic that my wife and I talked about Saturday. I asked her if she could tell me 5 couples that she would invite on a one-week chartered cruise in the Caribbean. Her response was interesting. She said I like the people, but I don't think I could take 7 days of being confined with them. So no one. Interesting way to look at things. I completely understood.

So if your fantasy is all that you want out of the lifestyle, be prepared for it to take a long time and may be never even happen. There is nothing wrong with that. But if your desire in the lifestyle is sex, then you might want to re-visit this fantasy and not make it a focal point.

Good luck.

It is an awesome experience once you have found that cpl! Too bad your a distance from us!!

We love to have this fantasy come true

I remember one couple on here, can't recall their name, that developed a relationship with another couple, then the four moved in together, then permanently swapped beds, then divorced and remarried to the other, and then moved out from their original spouse. Seemed to work for them. I guess that would be the Circle of Life for those with that desire.

Definitely possible, of course it takes the right couple and time to develop.

You are not alone wanting a relationship as you have hoped for. We have it with a couple of close friends and it didn't happen overnight. Be patient and keep looking. Hopefully it will happen for you.

Not at all.. we have been doing this for years with our select FWB's both couples and singles!

Finding the right mix of FWB is the key. Good Luck and enjoy.

We are ideally looking to meet a couple similar to us for monthly meetings for dinner and play time possibly later developing into a relationship with overnight stays with the four of us going on vacation together. We have found same room same and separate bed play very enjoyable and may broaden our horizons to Same Suite same and separate bedroom play with the doors open. Naturally we enjoy and prefer relationships of the closest kind no Condoms treating our partners much like second spouses. Are we alone?