Submissive or Dominate

When you say reluctant submissive.....I don't understand that. Reluctant to me means that sub is perhaps not what she wants to be. I don't know you and do not mean to make any assumptions. But getting her to "admit it" and her being reluctant....you may want to talk with her to check and see whether or not she really is sub or not.
Just my opinion,
Shelly

No problem! Thanks for your words of experience. I still don't think I want to watch it, but definately more power to ya'll.
Shelly

It is the erotic nature of being submissive, and maybe bound. In this relationship wiffy is the mistress and I the sub. she luvs to strap me down and tourment me. although she gets a little carried away and finishes me off pretty quick.

If she were to linger I would be begging and squirming!!! NEG

Pain and slapping, even verbal abuse is not always in the dom/sub roles. The role playing is what i find the most enjoyable. I enjoy worshiping my mistress.

I have a question for the ladies. Now, in advance I'll tell you that I have absolute respect for whatever anyone is into. Its your body, and if it turns you on thats fine. But I have to tell y'all this. It disturbs me when I see a woman who is a sub being just treated like shit by a man that is a dom. Now, given I'm an aggressive type lady that pretty much doesnt take much crap. I'd be fired as a sub within minutes lol, cause I'd take the stick and knock him over the frickin head with it.

But I'll be honest here. When I see a woman calling a man "Sir and Master", and having him boss her around, and call her horrific names like slut and whore and F***pig (I still can't figure out the meaning of that one), and then beating the hell out of her it does cause me to be disturbed. My first thought is what has happened to this lady to cause her to WANT to have men treat her with such disrespect. Then, I think why would a man WANT to abuse a woman.

Now, I'm NOT judging, just giving thoughts. I have a very close friend who loves the bdsm, being the master and all of that shit. Can you tell me what about it makes you feel good? I actually don't want to be there to see him in "action" with his sub, because knowing me I'd feel the need to protect her and would shove his whip up his ass or something LOL. I just don't see how bruising a woman like that is a turn on.

Thanks, Shelly

Hi I am completely submissive. My husband does not get into any form of BDsM at all. This may make sense to some of you, I am very new to this. Took a long time for me to realize what and who I am; but I love the strength I have found from submitting. :-D T

At work I am a Dom I am in charge and responsible for the operation. I take my responsibilities very seriously, but at home I am the Sub and I let my wife call the shots. I think it might have something to do with enjoying the release of responsibility. A way to relax and not have to be responsible for anything except pleasing her and her friends if she wishes. I enjoy bringing pleasure to her and it is my escape.

V

I am game for either, I would love to be in charge of one or more ladies and have them do ANYTHING. I would also be cool with being a boytoy for others too.

I am very submissive and enjoy serving a man or a women.I have a job where I am in charge and have to stay in that roll at work.When my husband and I swing with a couple I want to be used.The more that is asked of me the more it turns me on.The last couple we were with the women ordered to bend over her lap and pull my dress up.She pulled my very wet panties off and put them in my mouth.She started spanking me with her hand.She was hitting me hard but my husband knew I wanted more,he took off his belt and handed it to her.She pulled my legs open and started hitting my pussy.Just like with my ass she started slow than much much harder.It hurt but it also made me cum....Slave sue

I am a lifestyle domme, a former (and occasionally current) pro-domme, and am almost universally a top. There are exceptions, but only with the few people I trust with ny life do I ever bottom. I never submit. I enjoy dominating others, and am just naturally dominant in most situations. I didn't even realize there was a BDSM board on here. Hiya Kinksters!!!!

Someone stronger then I?No never I never give up and love staying strong even when everyony else next to me are relaxed and tiered.

I'm not sure that a lot of people really understand what's at the core of D/s relationships. Many people think that they tie someone up, or let someone tie them up, and suddenly they're into D/s.

Truth of the matter is beind Dominant or submissive is not a conscious decision. While deciding to follow the inner calling and act upon it might be conscious, you don't just wake up one morning and say "I think I'll be submissive starting today."

For us, it's not something we pursue on a full time basis, but even when we're not acting upon it, it doesn't mean that we somehow stop being Dom or sub. There are aspects of it that are ingrained in our personalities and make us the people we are.

For me, the male of the pair, as I look back at my life, I know I was born Dom, well before I was aware of the meaning or significance. I'm a natural leader, I crave being the responsible, in charge person in most situations and I can't remember a time I wished someone else was calling the plays. It wasn't until much later in life that I started making those connections with my sexuality.

For MrsLurks, she's typically the quiet, shy one who wants the scene set by someone else. Once it's before her, she still gets to make the conscious decision about moving forward or not, but in doing so, likes to turn the control over to someone more Dom.

In our minds, Dom or sub is a part of your person that you can't change. Submission should be a voluntary act, in some ways presented as a "gift" to your Dom. We don't believe that submission should ever be taken by force.

Tying into my many years in corporate management, I believe it ties in well with the theory that there are two kinds of power in relationships- positional power and personal power. Positional power is a short term, at the moment type of influence where an authority figure compels you to elicit a certain behaviour. This type of power is often fleeting, especially when abused or not accompanied by the stronger personal power.

Personal power has to do with loyalties and comes from someone's desire to WANT to follow you. This is the type of situation where you needn't look over your shoulder to see if someone is following, you know that they are, you've won that respect from them.

That's what we see about D/s as well. In the short term, you can bully or influence most anyone into submission, but what have you accomplished? The true measure of success is in finding someone with a submissive personality and giving them a reason to WANT to submit to your desires!

Think about it...

we love the story of O and the playing of dom/subm...very hot!

I would love to try either and have a blast

A Reply to "tina the toy" from my slave lilpony..

AMEN TO THAT SISTER

You are only what YOU are, They are what they are. You can train, guide and direct but you cannot change what is in their being to be.
To even attempt to change a person is doomed to failure and you will live with those consequenses the rest of your life.

Paul,
I fully agree with your assesment that it is a part of who you are. i have had alot of discussions with a variety of people, and many cannot understand that you do not chose Dom or sub, that it is a part of your personality, a part of who you are.

i have spent many years discovering who i am, and am still discovering every day. i used to be uncomfortable with the submissive part of me, but as i learn more, i realize that it is as much a part of me as my eye color, my nationality, or any other part of me that cannot be changed. It can be hidden, and ignored, but not changed.

Just some thoughts.
dawn

I am submissive. Been with a dom couple a few times and had the pleasure of being with a domme married woman. I was in heaven and would like to explore more. Test my limits. I love the slutty feeling of all of this. I mean, when I am playing I can't belive I am doing this and think about what my friends would think to see me in such situations......the taboo is so fun!

it's being hung up by ropes or straps from the ceiling or a device that will strap the body and let it hang verticaly or horizontaly ...

Hi well thats good for just hanging around ..:)

I am sub love to be told to do things. i like pain and some suspension play.

I'd love a good spanking from a couple or female....

I am a Dom (male) and my wife is a switch now. Started out as a sub, but now is trying the other side with select people.

I had a hot Dom lady call me on the phone last night and while she watching me on cam she made me suck off my toys LOL ...

I have a Dominate girl friend and she has me sucking off her fuck buddy all the time and i love it as she holds my head as he fucks my mouth deep and cums and i swallow it all.

I would love to be a boy toy ,and also love to have a couple or ladies under my control. Love to spank a nice ass.