Submissive or Dominate

I would love to find a couple of ladies to be their slave and also a couple.

I am a Dom with females but with most men I like to be bottom. I'm a very happy switch but my husband isn't into it, so I play with people that come to my house party. I even made every third saturday night party a BDSM theme party. So I get to explore my kink side!, Switch Jen

read our profile and find out

Joyful,

It's a pleasure. I'm not alone...:)

Marie

We are a Femdom couple.

Thank you so much for the welcome Polly.

Marie

Hi,

I am Dominant, and my bobbie is submissive. s(he) has been that way since we met. It took both of us a long time to figure what we both wanted. Now, bobbie dresses 70% of the time, and has become very docile. When s(he) acknowledged that s(he) wanted to become as close to a female as possible without surgery, I trained her on how to do oral, etc on a male. Now, bobbie is very happy in her role, and loves to please me and whoever we are with. S(he) also does all the housework, cleaning, etc. We know it is not for everyone, but, for us it works wonderfully.

Marie and (bobbie)

I'm Dom and she a natural submissive. Been that way since we met 27 yrs ago

Thanks for all your replies, Some are GREAT!

It could also be that you are more easily submissive with a partner you trust more, or are more turned on by...putting yourself into his hands, so to speak.

The parts that strike you funny might be a case of giggly nerves too!

And if you just like the tying up parts, then that's fine too...you can pick and choose, nothing's set in stone. You don't have to label yourself a sub/Dom, you can just say you enjoy the bondage. Pretty simple, eh?

There are concrete definitions, but as with most things sexual, there are deviations, variations, improvisations...and so on.

Gina
(who will answer Yes, Sir when told to, sometimes in the barest of whispers)

Okay, fair enough. Can someone only prefer certain parts though? I mean, I love having my hands bound. But in truth I do not like most of what I consider to be bdsm. I have nothing against it of course, just not for me.
Shelly

With me, I'm a funny sub I think. Now remember, I'm brand new to all of this. So please be patient with me. I am talking with a gentleman who wants to introduce us to the concept of dom/sub roleplay. So far I have found most of it very erotic. Now, I'm totally NOT into pain. You put my nipple in a clamp, I'm screaming and its flying out the window. I am more into my hands being bound, dressing erotically, candles, etc. Anyways. There are parts that I find demeaning. He kept asking if I want to be his slut...okay, no I am not a slut. And then I answer him yes, and he says "thats yes SIR, right".....lol okay ummmm, I have ISSUES with that. I don't know that I'll be doing that lol. So I'm asking y'all, do you not think that things like that are degrading? Again, please bear with me on this...I'm not judging either way.
Shelly

Goddess,

its good to know you are not the only one. i think for me, it began to explain alot of feelings and thoughts i had, and has helped me to be a stronger person, understanding that wanting to please a special person does not make you a doormat for everyone around.

dawn

For us it's very simple, I am a natural Dom and my lady is a natural sub. It's a great fit, we love our lifestyles and each other very much. And yes, I do treat her well, I beat her on occassion (only when she needs it) and discipline her frequently. All of which she happens to love and love me for. FRequent rides on the spanking bench make for a much better slave.

Larry and tamara

I (male) am a 'switch hitter'. I am comfortable in either a submissive, dominant or neutral role.

I find all to be fun although neutral role is easiest.

To be submissive requires a lot of trust that the dom partner won't cross any firm boundaries.

To be dominant requires knowing the other person well enough to understand what boundaries are real and which should be 'violated'. This is really difficult as it usually means knowing the person better than they know themselves.

I enjoy all 3 'roles', but I am with a partner I have been with for 20 years (high school sweethearts) and that makes it easier as there isn't much we don't know about each other.

This is in response to swtnsexybifem...I understand completely what you are saying. I am just now exploring this lifestyle but I have always been "naturally submissive". Glad to know there are other people out there that feel the same way.

Thanks for everyone posting and sharing thoughts and feelings.

She is very submissive, and loves a he or she to take charge. Likes restraints but not into pain.

in response to Lost jl. Im a very submissive woman in the bedroom and a very powerful executive professionally...a very in- charge mom, and a pilar of strength to my friends and family.

Here's the good part....I LOVE being dominated by a strong, commanding man. When he says "good girl" it makes me melt. When he calls me names and talks dirty to mt it is very stimulating. Submitting is an act of surrendering your body, your thoughts, and years of trying so hard not to be a slut, to one man you trust completely. One of the key elements to me is that there is nothing wrong with being wanton, sexually needed, and in fact, a total slut. It's rather empowering to embrace your own sexuality that way.

Also know there aremany types of Doms and submissives - of varying degrees. One thing it isn't for me is degrading or oppressive. But i engage in D/s at a level where my life outside of the bedroom is my own.

I am a natural sub and enjoy it that way lol. Hubby is naturally dominant and we are just really figuring out what works for us in the bedroom. I have a VERY hard time telling my lover what pleases me in that way stemming from the need for him or possibly her to be in complete control. I don't like to be asked things like "what do you want to do" etc. it makes me VERY nervous but I love to be told what to do :) in the bedroom anyway lol. I do not call my husband master ever but he does refer to me as slave and I LOVE it. For those of you who "don't get it" it is totally a trust thing. I know my husband would never do anything that would really hurt me. A lot of the turn on for me anyway is the element of the unknown I have no idea if I am going to be pleasured or punished at any given moment and it honestly gives me goosepimples and makes me hotter than anything else. I think the biggest thing about it that a lot of people probably don't realize is it is only one aspect of our play together. When I am bound, blindfolded and or gagged I am his completely he calls the shots. When those things are removed he still tells me what he wants but I play more of an equal partner I guess. The biggest thing is it is all about satisfying one another in a way we would never satisfy any one else. Our dom/sub play is off limits to anyone else pretty much and if any other man came at me with a belt I would probably deck them. Could definately get into a dominant woman though but only if I knew her very well and trusted her deeply.

It isn't about wanting to be beaten who wants that but a nice smack on the ass is not considered beating to me :)

What online test?

I am definitely submissive.

G.

Oh hell, lol - I don't know. According to the online test I'm an assertive sub, and so is he. Does that make us well-balanced or just unable to make up our minds?

We are a male dominant, female submissive couple, along with so many other things. Our relationship started on the premise that we would play together, with she being the focus of the bondage and I being the person the binds, gags, blindfolds, and then torments her. We find these activities, along with other very subtle things to be fun, interesting, exciting, imaginitvie, and an intimate addition to our love/sex life. We have a standing agreement.....I will not do anything to you that I would not allow you to do to me. Period. It has a tendency make me think about how far to the edge we go. It is all great fun, seemingly not well understood by the swing community. Oh well, their loss.

as a woman who is just in the last few years, finding herself, and understanding her true submissive nature, i have to add my 2 cents, although respectfully. i have discovered, through the help of a friend, just how naturally submissive i am. throughout my life, there are many things i could not understand, nor change about my behaviors, and/or actions and feelings. through time, and discussions and readings, i have come to realize that there is such a thing as a natural submissive, one who's life focuses, even when not acknowledged as a submissive, on serving and making sure loved ones are always taken care of. My entire life i have always put those i love and care for first, in all aspects, and often had a hard time understanding why i could not give a "straight" answer when asked a question about what i wanted, and now i know it is because my thoughts, feelings and wants come second to those i love/care for. my first instinct is to want what makes the one i care for happy, and not what consequence it has for me. Submissiveness is not just a sexual thing for some, but often a way of life, and for someone naturally submissive, it is always a way of life, even before we understand.

i don't know if this makes sense to everyone, but it does to me, and those that know me. i am happiest when i am able to serve those i care for, giving whatever is needed or wanted. Not just sexually, but in all aspects.

dawn

I'm submissive and very much a masochist...I completely get off from pain. My husband is dominant.

I am dom male, and she is very sexy sub, bi female....Lets hook up....