Submissive or Dominate

@goodgolly.....

Sorry if the Clift note version of my response offended you,what this poster needs is many many long conversations about it,I gave the short answer when a long response was needed.(if inclined,he can always do the research himself)

Me saying that the female of the species is born submissive was not ment as an insult,just clarification that I actually DID read all the science books,biology books,and history books in school.

The foundation of my statement is factual,however short.
We can debate alpha subbies,beta subbies,slaves,and the insanity of the north American "dommee",but what we can't change is the facts.
An alpha female is dominant only to beta male,she is submissive to HER alpha male.
I didn't write the book,mother nature did (thanks ma!)

This isn't a feminist pep rally,this is real life,so I gave real answers.

"As for the human animal,the female of the species is born submissive. That's just fact,regardless of the media hype,and no number of rallies and marches is going to change nature. Females are your equal in the courtroom,not the bedroom.
So I'm with you about doms always looking for subbies,I don't get it,they outnumber us,they are everywhere.
The really funny part,if you actually do start to do a little research,is MANY in the bdsm world consider the female submissive to be the one who is actually in charge of the relationship."

Well, you have part of the equation, but you're doing a poor job of making coherent sense of it. Women are not born naturally submissive (really, no, and it's just silly that you think that). Instead, many of us are pretty easy going in the face of persistent male errors like thinking you're dominant, plus it's quite fun to delegate all responsibility to someone else. As you note, but fail to understand the significance of, the female submissive is often the one in charge.

I've tied up more than my fair share of women and the result of long observation is that for the most part they really just want as much pleasure as they can stand and no obligation to reciprocate. It's like a vacation. And they'll make whatever adjustments they need to make to get what they want (which is why I always have so much fun with women and they with me, because I don't need ego service, thanks).

@andrew...

I'm sorry you think bdsm and D/S is all beatings and bruises,I'm afraid either your misinformed,or you took 50 shades way to serious.

What's your sleep number,do you know??
What's YOUR pain/pleasure level,do you know??

Bdsm-D/S is self exploration,it's learning the insides and outs of yourself first,then having a deeper understanding of your partner and their needs.
It's both physical and psychological.
Without it,it's just fucking,and all animals can do that.

I mean no disrespect to you,I'm sure from your posts,we would probably share a beer and some good conversation together.
But I'm afraid your misinformed.

I dont do needles,scars,brands,or potty games,but off the top of my head,if my partner had an itch that she wanted scratched.....
I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to please her.

I dont break my toys.

As for the human animal,the female of the species is born submissive.
That's just fact,regardless of the media hype,and no number of rallies and marches is going to change nature.
Females are your equal in the courtroom,not the bedroom.

So I'm with you about doms always looking for subbies,I don't get it,they outnumber us,they are everywhere.

The really funny part,if you actually do start to do a little research,is MANY in the bdsm world consider the female submissive to be the one who is actually in charge of the relationship.

So far,it seems your consistently wrong when it comes to BDSM,and much of it,once understood,are things you unknowingly already enjoy now.

I invite you to do some research,to find out where exactly YOU fit into the bdsm world,and WHY.
Your partner will thank you.

The lines between swinger and kink are faded and almost gone.

Catch up.

This post, from the first page of the thread. Is the truth. It's well written by someone named Shelly, and I can't agree more, except for the part about respecting some of the choices people make.

"I have a question for the ladies. Now, in advance I'll tell you that I have absolute respect for whatever anyone is into. Its your body, and if it turns you on thats fine. But I have to tell y'all this. It disturbs me when I see a woman who is a sub being just treated like shit by a man that is a dom. Now, given I'm an aggressive type lady that pretty much doesnt take much crap. I'd be fired as a sub within minutes lol, cause I'd take the stick and knock him over the frickin head with it.

But I'll be honest here. When I see a woman calling a man "Sir and Master", and having him boss her around, and call her horrific names like slut and whore and F***pig (I still can't figure out the meaning of that one), and then beating the hell out of her it does cause me to be disturbed. My first thought is what has happened to this lady to cause her to WANT to have men treat her with such disrespect. Then, I think why would a man WANT to abuse a woman.

Now, I'm NOT judging, just giving thoughts. I have a very close friend who loves the bdsm, being the master and all of that shit. Can you tell me what about it makes you feel good? I actually don't want to be there to see him in "action" with his sub, because knowing me I'd feel the need to protect her and would shove his whip up his ass or something LOL. I just don't see how bruising a woman like that is a turn on.

Thanks, Shelly"

Hubby is sub, wife is switch.

I'm submissive by a long-shot. I have dommed, and enjoyed the learning curve, and even found pleasure in parts of it, but I was never truly comfortable in the role. As a submissive, I'm perfectly comfortable and just love femdoms and male doms. I'm not so much into the discipline and pain as much as giving pleasure or being used for pleasure.

Since I first acted on my submissive impulses about 3-4 years ago, my life has changed, all for the better, and I've had some amazing experiences with SLS'ers and a few I've met at M&G's. No regrets!

I (male half) am Dom 24/7 with sub wife for over 30 yrs. My new lady play partner is new to bdsm and enjoying exploring her discovery in her submissiveness. She always has been a sub, just never had a Dom that let her let it out and and help her explore and truly enjoy it

I am a Dom. Looking to meet like minded, fit and sexy women. Enjoy rope bondage, gags, some impact play, sex....

We are 24/7 Ms. I (the male) am the Dominant and she is the submissive.

I'm a total Dom, although not really into hardcore BDSM. I am bi sexual and very into Dom/sub or Dom & Domme/ sub or Dom/sub/sub play. It matters not to me the gender/s of my partners, only that he/she/they are into Dom/sub play too ! However I am not into anal sex with men, so I am not a Dom top. I'm just a Dom period !.

Sogood....
It sounds like a common ploy in order to get to the door.
Men pretending to be submissive.

It’s as bad as men pretending to be dominant.

Or submissive topping from the bottom.

It’s a big shit Sammie,and the only way to get to the center is to take bites.

Usually they all give themselves away quickly.

SoGood, I'm a little fuzzy about what happened and what your question is, but it doesn't sound like anyone had fun!

Both of us are probably truly switch, but I (Jen) am sub with all men and switch with females, and he is Dom with all women (he's straight). He's willing to try some sub activities, but right now I don't want to seriously do that with him, as he's still getting the hang of being Dom with me and it's a big turn on. Being sub with me would spoil that image. We're holding off on that for now.

I’m a switch, and so are my husband and my girlfriend. My other partners are either Doms or vanilla, and one submissive man.

I have been a FemDom most of my life and I have found it to be the most pleasurable force & release
in my life. However, 12 years ago I met a Male Dom that intrigued me so much I...laid my Dom Crown down
and gave him the Opportunity to show Me the submissive side. I am nothing but, grateful to him still today because..
I learned to be a better Domme by knowing how to submit.

~HerWickedness

There are many, many ways to explore bdrm without 'pain. Just like there are many different ways and locations to engage in sex. If you enjoy it, keep experimenting and learning. You imagination and limits will guide you.

Looking for experienced or pro Domme for discussion and advice...about to train my first pet!

we met a couple like that in the taxi coming back from a club in Vegas...from Iceland, and wish we would've followed through on it, but had an early (and I mean early) flight home the next morning. Looking back, it would definitely been great fun and there were sparks everywhere. Wish we had followed our instincts on that.

And you're right. It's good as a one time electric hook up and then go your way with hot memories of it. Anonymous can be quite thrilling like that.

Gina

Yeah, I can definately agree with that. When you have electric type chemistry like that how do you maintain that? But it sure sounds like you have a great ass memory!!! Are y'all still friends with them?

Wow M, that does sound fantastic!

watch me in action, be the one I am acting upon, it doesnt matter it is all good and you can do both because I have done a few scenes in a night before.

Does wear me out but I am usually grinning quite well as I watch the afterglow of each bottom.

Cool! Your gonna have a blast! We are going to a strip club in Austin...I have never been to one. Then we are going to go party on 6th street downtown. So I'm all about comfort LOL.

have to wear the red leather, it was my FSM's b'day request.

I was going to wear jeans tonight but screw it, I'm going to wear a skirt lol.

good thing I'm wearing my red leather pants tonight, that might leave a mark ;)