Learning to be a good Dom

Just an opion
Here is a Demo that I just conducted at an event.
This was a simple Demo at a cross over event Host asked for a Violet Wand station. The host couple found the bottom. Negogated for a Demo, this was high frequency generator for stimulus, pretty basic .the Bottom was Natural Masochist . Kick was she had never experienced a Violet wand. Once she realized she was safe and it had a similar feel to her as a tatto needle, She flew the host said they could feel the power exchange on entering the space. I have done thousand of Violet wand demos, this one the power exchange was so intense I hit Dom space. I had to keep this bottom safe, having to choke down - a massive endorphin rash I had to continue to check in on her make sure the intensity was not injurious to her ,watch and listen. The demo was discontinued when some swelling was detected . She receive extensive aftercare, It was a demo so you take care of yourself

Being a Good Dom
In a stable relationship you are probably doing it without a label.
I would suggest " Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns" yes it is print. There are some very good reads from Greenery Press (all peer review ed() with various subject.
At the "The Toy Bag Lecture" a former Highly. Leve lNCSF Official .stated Confidence and Competence. A.strong Fetish Community usually has Munchies and seminars. Your profile was closed so I was not able to find a couple of groups for you.
Biggest Thing is Simple Basic Manners with others ( military courtesy) . Your deeds and actions will speak louder, then any thing else. NEGOGATE what you and your spouse desire. Most of all be True to Your Self and your spouse.

Opinion, which is what you're expressing, is not the same thing as truth. And I will continue to disagree that one knows, unequivocally, that one is or is not dominant. That opinion is bolstered by my experience as a really sensitive switch who has met a large number of self-proclaimed doms/dommes that I can easily roll.

Strangely, the very few who have been able to roll me haven't ever announced their dominance. Probably because they didn't have to.

"...if you "think" you a Dom you probably aren't, you know it or you don't."

Heh. That's one of those 'sounds good but isn't true' things. I've met a fair number of people over the years who were certain they were doms, including two professionals, and had the inside of my head report how many minutes it would take to flip them. It's mostly,men, because that's the unexamined standard for the gender, but I've run into a few women who were (wrongly) quite certain they were dommes.

It's perfectly okay to think you might be dominant and explore that. You might be, it might be a lot of fun for all involved, and everyone starts somewhere.

A great place to learn from bdsm experts is KinkAcademy dot c**. Their purpose is to teach safe bdsm techniques. It's a paid site but very helpful for beginners.

I'm 73 years old and have been a Dom sexually for most of my life.

What you must understand is that I've witnessed the entire transformation in the lifestyle brought about by the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey. Hence, the modern BDSM scene is somewhat foreign to me, for it emphasizes performance over sex. To me, BDSM was always an aspect of love-making, not some group gathering to see who can recruit the most subs through a public display of their prominence over the rest. When local "masters" are recognized as superior, they use their positions to manage the lifestyle in such a way that suits them. So, you have to be careful "learning" to Dom from this crowd. That's my opinion. YMMV.

My suggestion for you and the Mrs. is that you buy a couple of very simple restraints to begin with and simply incorporate them into your love-making. Safe, sane, consensual are your guideposts, so with that in mind, talk about a fantasy that you might have and play those roles in the bedroom. For you, let her response be your guide. You're never forcing her to do something against her will, so your role really is to read her reactions and keep pressing along those lines. Remember that it's play, a fantasy, not "real," because her safe word puts her in charge of the scene. Therefore, a "good Dom" is one who can take control on the surface in order to bring her to a place of total submission. Man gives. Woman receives. And in her receiving, she gives back to you, for there is nothing so gratifying in sex than the sight of a bound sub reaching for her orgasm, because YOU are the one she's giving it to. That is power, IMO.

Once you know what she likes (though she may not wish to say it), work on that. Study that. Research that. There are always things you can learn, but those are the basics for an old guy who's been around a very long time. We don't do the local "scene" and never will. It doesn't define the lifestyle, and don't let anybody claim it does.

Good luck to you. If you have a submissive partner, you are a very fortunate man, indeed. Handle with care.

So as I read this it seems she wants you to be more of a "dominant" in the bedroom. As the previous poster had mentioned that Google is a good place to start.
Another thing to start with is to see what SHE wants and it it will turn you on as well. Such things to discuss could be role play, pain tolerance, (or not) and aspect of safety to control play such as safewords.

An additional resource would be to signup with Fetlife. It is a tremendous resource to the Kink community. It can also give you ideas for "scenes" in the bedroom. Fet can connect you online with others but also let you know if there is a local community of kinksters in the area you can socialise with a "munches" I would say I have found the kinsters much more excepting and stable than those I've encountered in the swing community.

Know like in most communities there will be the hardcore Dom/subs that make it part of there life. The will also be "wannabe" Dom out there that play and intimidate. What matters more is how it enhances your relationship with your partner,,,not all the BS that most will tell you is part of being a "Dom"

If you Google terms like 'dominance 101,' 'kink domination,' or 'introduction to dominance,' you'll get much more useful information than you'll ever find on PornHub. Each website will probably give you an idea of what area you want to explore next. There are also kink related books; some are how-to and others are erotica, where the lessons are inherent rather than explicit. I'm pretty sure there is also a wealth of videos on the subject, although I haven't ever looked at them so can't give you an idea about the quality.

I'm not trying to elide the answer or suggest that I'm not interested in responding, but I have no idea what information will click for you. Because of that, I think the scattershot method of reading everything kink related will be the most help, even if you find yourself skimming through some of it.

Hello,
My wife is interested in some aspects of BDSM and being a sub. I think I'm a natural Dom (based on work and personal experiences); however, I haven't really had the desire to be a Dom in the bed room. I think that our American (and European) cultural experience teaches us that Doms are bad people -- so us Alpha's tend to actively work to suppress our Dom characteristics. -- I think I would like being a Dom, if I can figure it out. The BDSM porn is usally a turn off for both of us, but many people in this forum say that Porn BDSM isn't real BDSM anyway. This is all confusing to me.

So, I have two questions for the forum:
1) How do I learn to be a good Dom?
2) Can you post a link to any stories that illustrate what a good Dom is like? Even a video, but not like the ones that come up with BDSM search on Porn Hub?