Swinging with a family

P&Wife-- we have a multi-generational household right now: is my step- dad, my daughter and, about half the time, her daughter too. My daughter knows but does NOT want details of course, and we have a caregiver for lunch time for days a week.

It's tough explaining to the oldest and youngest why they can't come with us on our weekend getaways. We usually go to a nudist resort, and I BRIEFLY explained it to the youngest and that's it's Gramma & Grampa's days off from taking care of Great-Grampa. We're newish to this LS, (formally? Hadn't actively been seeking couples anyway) but have had threesomes our whole 19-year relationship.

I am a single dad and I approached from a different angle. I am seeking lifestyle friends that I can enjoy vanilla events with. Friends being a keyword.

In the summer a lifestyle friend that has a pool has vanilla cook outs. Kids of all ages are in the pool, having nerf wars, etc, the adults enjoy the social gathering.

And since I'm not originally from Alabama I'm not offended but don't you mean West Virginia hell? ;-)

"...graduated college and came back home she wants to know what we are doing/where we are going and why she can't go..."

That behavior is not limited to recent college graduates that have moved back home. We are caregivers to my 90 year old mother-in-law and have a similar situation since she's a social animal and we live way out in the country. Be glad that once you do get out the door you don't have to be back in just a couple hours - we have to work around Momma's meal and medication schedule if we don't hire respite care.

There are challenges to every stage of life!

If you have someone to watch the child(ren) it is as easy as it would be to simply go out for the evening. Now going for longer (say overnight) would require an overnight stay at grandmas (or other trusted person). Now we never stayed out overnight but we did come in late (but typically before say bar closing time) while the girls were younger. Once they get older and able to "babysit" the others or themselves for several hours it gets easier because unless you are out real late you can leave them to it. As ours were much closer in age and did not get along this was not easy for us and we lost out on our babysitting so we took quite a long break if it works for you depends on your child(ren). Once they get old enough to pretty much be left alone overnight or even the weekend it frees up a lot more time. The caveat to this is when they get older and still live at home due to finances (our youngest). We can leave her for a week or more if we want and have for vacations and such but the issue is since she graduated college and came back home she wants to know what we are doing/where we are going and why she can't go. We have resolved this but she still wants to go as she gets "lonely" but we tell her it she should move out and then we would not have to go out to be alone LOL.

BTW I misread the title the first time and was thinking what in the Alabama hell was this topic. BTW no offense to anyone from Alabama but you all get the joke.

For us is very hard to be active. We would love to venture out and club to swingers club but having kiddos makes it a hard. We love spending time with our family and love sex. So hopefully this year we can make some changes and also make time for out adult play nights to occur more often.

@R&K

"we called it a date night and got a babysitter ! Working adults deserve to go out at least 1-2 times every month themselves.. we did and it worked. "

When I was married we took the same exact approach. Our mindset was, we were a thing before out kids came along. Date nights (every Friday, if I was not out of town on business) were mostly vanilla but not always. On those non vanilla nights we would get a babysitter for the night or the grandparents to watch the kids for the night. My kids knew that was Mom and Dad's special time :)

My kids remain my priority to this day. When I was married it was important for them to know that Mom and Dad had date nights. My children have carried that date night concept over to their marriages.

Family should always be first. We’re empty nesters now so play time planning is easier for us. When our daughter was growing up, we arranged adult activities around her sleep overs, weekend scout trips and vacations with friends. Since adult time was at a premium, when she lived at home, we chatted a lot with potential friends before meeting, which improved the per cent of actual play Versus meet and greats only.
Hope that helps!

Springboarding off the whole club thing, I've found that the more time you talk the less likely you are to move things to a room.

I have found being blunt but respectful works best. "I think you are really [insert pertinent compliment], are you playing tonight?" is efficient and effective.

We don't have kids yet so don't have to worry about scheduling so much. We do have 3 dogs that we have to get sitters for, but we live in a neighborhood which is almost exclusively young families, and our dogs are adorable instagram bait.

Like others have stated, family is always first. We have kids at home as well, and do not even suggest to host. We like to treat ourselves to at least dinner out, if not more. If we can meet people on a date night, all the better. Our oldest son is 21, and he's well aware of our swinging but we don't flaunt it in front of him either. Youngest is 11, and he still gets separation anxiety thanks to his Aspbergers, but mom and dad need adult time too. Hopefully this helps, and feel free to pm if you want to chat in more detail.

So we have been swinging a LONG time and had kids too in the beginning.. we called it a date night and got a babysitter ! Working adults deserve to go out at least 1-2 times every month themselves.. we did and it worked. Sometimes kids were sent to grandparents for the night.. and we played at our home.

Good luck.. enjoy

We've been doing this since our oldest was a toddler and I was pregnant with our youngest, about 18 years now. We have always had nights out. Alone. Without kids. Play dates, or just going to dinner then strolling around Target. So as they've grown up they know and expect us to go out without them. They don't need or ask for details. No big deal.

We always make it very clear from the beginning with couples/singles, we don't host. Our kids have have never been a problem.

Title reads a little weird lol. We’ve found it most difficult to find time for another couple. We have a pre-teen and that is obviously our first priority. We’ve tried the club scene and so far no luck there as it’s just so fuckin noisy you can’t even have a conversation. Couples, preferably married with kid/kids, how do you find the time to meet couples? I find this to be probably the leased talked about subject in this lifestyle.