Single Males Open to a Long Term/Ongoing/Regular Situation

DUH!

"" You say there are no parties near you ". You can put my zipcode , 06471, and see for yourself."

I did. There are two parties within 50 miles of you this Saturday, one in Hartford and the other in Terryville. If I switch to 100 miles (which could be 150 miles, SO SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE AREA), it's 17 parties or other events.

Do you know what happens if I do the same thing for Bellingham? Zero within 50 miles and three within 100, two at clubs, one a private Christmas party.

Yes, I know, single men, yada yada, but with 17 choices, at least one will be open to you.

Hilarious.. Y just doesnt get it!

Even from those who blocked him.. pass the popcorn!

Mayhem- I understand networking.
If I saw we were both going to the same vanilla event and I asked if you wanted to meet for 5 minutes for a drink, you would probably meet me. If you decide I'm not as much of a asshole in person, you invite me to one of your parties or if you know someone who has parties that I would be a perfect fit for, you introduce me to them. I then meet others at these parties and get invited to more parties.
But ,in order for this networking to take place, I need to meet you first.
I can not believe that out of everyone in this forum, no one, not once in their lives, was vacationing somewhere or just moved to somewhere that didn't have any clubs or parties and had to start over from the bottom and make new friends in the lifestyle. No guy was ever part of a lifestyle couple, got divorced, none of the parties wanted a SM, and he had to start over.
I can't believe I am the only guy in all of SLS that can't walk out his front door and into a club or has to struggle to decide which of the 10 parties advertised on SLS he is going to attend tonight.
If I really am the first guy this has ever happened to, then I will keep trying to find a way to meet someone like you, who has experience with running parties and knows a lot of people who host parties. Then I will post where to meet someone like you so if this happens to anyone else, they will know what to do.

" You say there are no parties near you ".
You can put my zipcode , 06471, and see for yourself. There are about 40 groups, about 35 are inactive. The other 5 wouldn't let me join for reasons such as wrong race or single. Apparently, I am the only one without a party or group within 100 miles because nobody on SLS believes me. " but you've been to a club and even had an interaction with a woman there. No, I don't want to know, nor do I care, why that outlet is no longer available to you. ".
It is still available to me but it is normally 2 hours away and now it is twice that due to a major failed bridge. On top of that, most of the time it is me and other SM in the socializing area and the couples and SM in the couples area.

" (swingers can definitely be kinksters and vice versa),". Yes, it can happen and I am still trying. But so far, everyone at the munches have been kink. Whenever swinging is mentioned they complain about SM being charged more at clubs than couples. Even the SF's are outraged at this. A submissive woman will gladly have sex with a stranger if a dominant male places her under his protection and tells her to do it. But she won't do it on her own. And most of the women at munches have a penis. So I'm still trying, but nothing yet.

" In an unrelated topic, how do people who blocked me see what I post? Why do people who blocked me care what I post? Why do people who blocked me comment on what I post? "

When they quote your posts like this, they are able to figure out who is being quoted.

If you have been around long enough, people can tell who posted the words without seeing the profile the words came from.

"In an unrelated topic, how do people who blocked me see what I post? "

At a guess? They don't, but you post variations on a theme and have done so for three years. I'm probably not the only one who could reliably predict what you've written without actually reading your posts.

Where do swingers go? Clubs and parties. You say there are no parties near you or they are attended by college kids (they aren't), but you've been to a club and even had an interaction with a woman there. No, I don't want to know, nor do I care, why that outlet is no longer available to you. But that's where swingers go. To clubs. And parties.

Go or don't go, but there aren't many other avenues to meet swingers that aren't clubs, parties, or online sites like SLS. If you've flamed out on all of them and ruled out kink munches (swingers can definitely be kinksters and vice versa), then give up. Because there's no hidden place or method.

In an unrelated topic, how do people who blocked me see what I post?
Why do people who blocked me care what I post?
Why do people who blocked me comment on what I post?

And , im not looking for a magic formula. I'm looking for A formula.
If I was afraid to be put the work in l, I wouldn't still be on this site 3 years later.
And what advice haven't I taken?
I am losing weight, changed the photos, bought new clothes, putting on muscle.

Mayhem- you are correct. You suggested munches and I am meeting people. That suggestion was helpful. But, no swingers yet and they draw a pretty hard line between swing and kink. The two get along, but they are not friends. So, not much chance of someone recommending me to swingers. Kinksters put sex second and swingers put sex first and the two do not understand how the other sees sex.
Yes, there is a chance a swinger will come to a munch and we will meet and that will lead to meeting other swingers, but no swingers have attended the munches yet.

Fraunhubby- In order to move on to step 2, I have to complete step 1.
In the three years that I have been on here I have only fond two that I was compatible with. One said they had eft the lifestyle and the other didn't respond. So, I only have one rejection. The one couple I did play with contacted me so I didn't have to do anything to impress them.
If you want to buy a car you do not go to home depot. You go to where cars are being sold. I amcertain no one here would recommend I try a party with all college age kids. My chances of finding someone to play with would be slim. My chances of finding someone comparable on SLS are slim. I have never seen a party or meet and greet in my area or even an active group I could join. I am not going to get to step 2 by checking SLS parties or groups. I need some way to figure out where swingers that I am compatible with are. A dance, a cruise, pig races, animal sacrifice to Satan, etc and I need to go to those events. Every step past 1 is worthless until I find a way to meet swingers.

Pot…kettle…

BT

-Double boiler

"...not everyone uses common sense either. Obviously I suffer from a lack of the latter at times myself "

I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

:-)

"He never takes any advice just complains."

In this case, he did take the advice (eventually) and he did meet people. He keeps thinking there's some magic formula for all of this. The magic formula is a combination of work and common sense, but not everyone uses common sense either. Obviously I suffer from a lack of the latter at times myself ;-)

Exactly One.. we did too same old with Y!!!

But we get it they are trying to be nice..as they are to everyone they talk with... but definitely wasting your time with" Y oh woe is me"!

Why bother even replying to Ymichael. He never takes any advice just complains. I blocked him long ago

with any luck we may have found someone for long term

Ymichael14 - "I haven't seen any suggestions on what to do or not to do, to meet people. "

That isn't completely true because you were pointed at and found that FetLife munches were a way to meet people. There is at least some amount of crossover between fetishists and swingers.

The way to find parties is to network. You can still do this at munches. Even if few, if any, swingers show at a munch, the people that do meet are at least likely to know swingers from FetLife that attend muches from time to time.

An idea I got from another site is to find other fun events in your area to attend and post Hot Dates for, like a karaoke night someplace near you. Unlike a fair, these do not cost anything to attend.

Unfortunately, telling someone that is not creative to "be creative" doesn't help. It's also easy to assume other people have skills that come easily to you, but that is not always the case.

Fraun well done.

I would add to your meet up part - Be yourself.

Ymichael: There's lots of discussion on this...which most of us have read.

1. Use online resources to make an initial approach.

1. Ask for a real meeting soon thereafter. Real life meetings are where it matters.

1. Real meets: Be charming, be humorous, be on time. and dressed appropriately.

1. If it goes well, ask for a sexy-time date and take it to the next level.

As Molly, Ronnkathy, and many others have stated...online is only the first tiny step. Move to meet and be a gentleman until she tells you to not be a gentleman.

Frauhubby- Everything I have read here refers to what to do AFTER meeting someone. I haven't seen any suggestions on what to do or not to do, to meet people. If someone I knew at work had private parties, how do I approach them to get invited. Or better yet, how do I even find someone at work.
If I ever start meeting swingers and get rejected, I will work on what I am doing wrong.

Mayhem- yes, I realize I may have better luck with different days and places to meet. I will keep trying. The reason why I tried the fair is I am trying to find a way to just meet people. I think it would be easier if there wasn't a chance of sex. A meet and greet type of thing. But, so far, I haven't found anything that swingers like to do besides meet for sex.

Meeting up this weekend with a couple I have been in a LTR with. The last time met (about a month ago) there were a total of 3 couples and two SMs. It was incredible with a very awesome sex table added into the mix. This weekend will just be the three of us, as we need some our time. Looking forward to being with them!

One of the other couples mentioned earlier has also become a regular LTR, and the four of us have meet several times and well as I have met with just them alone multiple times.

It is an inner circle thing. We are very selective with who we meet up with.

"One of the things that wasn't mentioned by the OP but is something I've seen by some couples looking for this sort of arrangement is exclusiveness."

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Good point, Mayhem. Years ago, I was taken to dinner by 2 couples who wanted to add a SM in to what they describe as their 'tribe' I was to be exclusive to the 2 couples (and vice versa). They made a compelling case, and I did give it some thought. Obviously I passed, but it was intriguing,

Ymichael...yes we were referring to the single guys success blog on here. We've posted several examples of single guys who do the lifestyle right, from our point of view.