Single Males Open to a Long Term/Ongoing/Regular Situation

I'm only interested in steady lifestyle relationships. Last minute latenight booty calls are always possible with steady playmates....many possibilities

They probably got 23,649 volunteers … lol

Too funny

Create a Topic and then block the very people you profess you want to hear from!

Tomkatf- guess they didn't like what they heard from SM's so they blocked us.

OP has blocked SM’s…lol

LTRs are great. When I was married we enjoyed that with a couple for several years until we moved.

As a single male I am fortunate to have met up with a couple five years ago. We do vanilla and non vanilla things together. We truly enjoy each other’s company when we are together.

They have shared that it is not easy to find single men for LTRs. I was shocked as I thought it would be easier for them versus a single male. From conversations with them I have come to realize the difficulty goes both ways.

Ideally, I would think this would be what a cpl wants. When I was a cpl, I know that'd exactly what we had and it was absolutely great. The trust, conversations and experiences was never really there with others. Also, it's nice to have company on vacations and adventures. But sadly he moved on to a another existence.

Peaceful travels Paul. Js

One upside to an LTR is the potential for planning a lifestyle road trip somewhere

A little overdue..... two weekends ago, I met up with one of my LTRs. Our last meeting before that with them consisted of three couples and two SMs. The time before that was two couples and me. While I loved every moment of those two get together, I needed some time with just the one couple. What I like is they felt the same way.

We met at a hotel (they were doing a staycation in my area. They moved a few years ago from my area and live about 2 hours away. Somehow, we manage to meet up about once a month (I drive to them, or they come to my area).

I was really excited to see them, When I knocked on the room door, the door opened and to mt delight the wife was lying in bed, legs spread and using a toy on herself. The husband closed the door behind me, and we began our prearranged plan to blindfold and restrain his wife.

I stripped and went to the bed, i began kissing her as the husband handed me a blindfold. I whispered to her to close her eyes. as I began to place the blindfold over her eyes the husband placed the first restraint on her wrist and quickly fastened it to the bedpost. I could tell she was excited and did not resist as the second restraint was applied to her other wrist. We stepped back and admired her beauty and labored breathing; her hard nipples revealing her excitement. We each took a leg and placed restraints around her ankles. We spread her legs and secured the restraints.

We left her like that for a while, no one made a sound. I walked over to the bed, leaned in close, she could feel me close to her, I blew a breath that she felt on her lips, and she immediately raised her head to try to kiss me. I pulled back and lightly traced he lips with my finger. Her husband joined me on the other side of her as he lowered his mouth and sucked on her nipple. I leaned in again and this time we kissed as I squeezed her hard nipple. I backed away as her husband moved up and began kissing her. I waited for the right moment to gently drag the soft ends of a riding whip from her ankle up to her inner side of her leg and across her vulva and back down her leg.

I watched as the husband put his cock in her mouth. I watched until I knew the two of them were into each other and lost in the moment when took the whip in small rotation movement began flicking it at her vulva, the more intense the two of them got the more pressure I applied to her area. I stepped up onto the bed and at the right moment slide into her. The two of us were pleasing her, all three of us enjoying the sensations of pleasing and being pleased.

There was for more we did but you get the idea. You are only limited by your own imagination.

It is always a treat when the three of us meet up. We enjoy the intensity of our sexual times together and likewise; we enjoy our vanilla times together as well. Who knows, maybe we'll see you'll see us at Universal Studios riding one of the many roller coasters. Don't be shy if you do, introduce yourself.

Goodgolly- I would never turn down a woman who was young enough to be my granddaughter, but what are the odds of that happening? The odds are far greater that I would be chased out.
Why should I waste my time?
That would be like going to a gay club looking for a straight woman. Sure, it could happen. But odds are, it won't.

I have to say, you folks have been extremely patient with that man. Don't know if it's a good thing or something else at this point, however. But-- as you were.

"I am not... just to find out the club attracts only college kids."

Why not?

One of your perennial questions is how people find others to play with and the larger answer - larger than parties or clubs or online - is that we take chances. And we keep taking chances until they pay off.

The greatest risk is that you'll feel incredibly uncomfortable. So fucking what.

Goodgolly- I check everything under "events". Hot dates, groups, clubs, socials,parties.
As for distance I have to travel, I do not mind traveling if I have a chance. I am not driving for 4 hours or flying, or take a bush plane to a grass landing strip and then an Uber snowmobile for another hour just to find out the club attracts only college kids.
If someone on here could recommend a club or event, I would go, but as I have already learned, that will never happen.
I will just be told repeatedly that I am too stupid to find the club.

Goodvibes- also, I do not mind traveling. But so far, all I see in profiles is wanting someone local.

Goodvibes- the one couple I played with did not want to chat or get to know me. messaged me on SLS, asked if I was interested, I said yes, gave me their phone number , asked me to come over in 3 hours, I said couldn't but I could be there in 5 hours, they were only 20 minutes away, when I got to their house they still did not want to talk and we were in a threesome 20 minutes after I got there.
Everyone on here tells you about how to dress and talk and the first contact message, that is what I mean by impress.
As for fetlife and swing, you need to come to the munches I go to and join in the conversations I have on fetlife. Maybe I just the only kink people who do not get along with swing. Yes, they can attend the same parties and be friends. But when a kink person shares his wife he lets you whip her,not have sex with her. Kink people have explained the difference as, a kink person and a swinger both Order a steak dinner. The steak comes with a garnish. The kink. And the swing then argue over whether the steak is the meal or the garnish is the neal and the steak is the garnish. Both eat the steak and garnish and agree it was a great meal.
Or, when kink and swing is at the same club, swing looks at what a group of kink are doing and wonders why they would want to do that when they could all be in the group sex room having sex with each other.

Mayhem- yes, I am doing all of that.
Yes, I know it takes time.
I do not have a problem with a club charging me more, they are a business and they have a lot more SM that want in than couples or SF so SM pay more because they are willing to and the club can afford to lose 75%of their SM customers so they do not to give them a discount to get them to come in. What I am not going to do is go to a club that just wants to stuff it full of SM's for the money.

Huh ?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly. I appreciate the respect for mutual freedom and the opportunity for connections to evolve. I find the idea intriguing and would be interested in exploring this dynamic with you both. I’d love to discuss how we might make it work. I’m definitely open to the idea of joining you on date nights and lifestyle events. Looking forward to hearing more!

YMichael, is it possible that instead of looking at the events posted as part of the Hot dates section of this site, you're using Groups? A function that is rarely used, even by groups that regularly hold meet and greet?

As far as distance and all your made up reasons for being inflexible in that area, I'd like to point out that there is a dearth of lifestyle activity in our area and we have far more play options in Jamaica. So we go to Jamaica. Which is probably farther away than the places you think are too far.

Your problem solving needs work and imagination, which only you can supply.

Ymichael

“The one couple I did play with contacted me so I didn't have to do anything to impress them.”

“That suggestion was helpful. But no swingers yet and they draw a pretty hard line between swing and kink. The two get along, but they are not friends.”

“Kinksters put sex second and swingers put sex first and the two do not understand how the other sees sex.”

Reading back through your post I found a few comments I'd like to address.

1 - "the one couple I did play with contacted me so I didn't have to do anything to impress them."

Why would you feel the need to impress anyone? Just be yourself!

If you are on this site and carry a dialogue with a couple or a SF, in most cases, they will have some semblance of the person you are. As mentioned previously, just be yourself, be respectful, and understand you only get out of it, what you are willing to put into it.

2 -That suggestion was helpful. But no swingers yet and they draw a pretty hard line between swing and kink. The two get along, but they are not friends.

IMHO your comment is blatantly false. While they can be mutually independent, they also mix well together. For instance, one of the first parties I ever attended was a FET / SLS party. Those in attendance did not isolate themselves from one another, nor did they identify themselves as being SLS or FET. Instead, people mingled, shared conversations, got to know others and eventually those with similar interest (for that night) broke out for fun. Once again, you get out of it what you put into it.

That particular night, I have no idea what I was walking into, but I did find some kink things very interesting that I never thought I would. You can’t expect to attract others if you are not willing to have an open mind. If you go to a party, be observant, respectful, and know this, you may be disappointed, or you may get offers to play. Again, you get out of it what you put into it. If you have an aura of sensuality and positivity, that makes you approachable, If your aura is one of standoffish, you will be viewed as not approachable.

1. "Kinksters put sex second and swingers put sex first and the two do not understand how the other sees sex."

There is much to respond to on this point, but without knowing your idea of what a Kinster is makes this difficult. When you view things from a narrow perspective such as this, you miss out on opportunities.

Lastly, the notion of location being an issue is to me is nothing more than an excuse. I will back that up by saying this. I lived on an island where everyone knew everyone else's business. When I sought out people in the lifestyle, I looked for couples and SFs outside of where I lived. I wasn't looking for one and done experiences, as they don't appeal to me. I reached out to people on SLS through chat rooms, hot dates and who's online. Sure, I had to do the traveling, but I didn’t mind. I have met some great people (Couples, SF, Hotwives). It wasn’t easy when in lived on Long Island, but it wasn’t impossible. I now live in Florida, it took me some time to meet my first, and SF. I now have a network of SLS members. We gather every now and then as a group (not an SLS group, they don’t work for me). We also have our private times (MFM, SF, Howtwife.) Bottom line, be yourself, do the hard work (persistent work) be respectful, don’t complain, and most of all don’t put yourself out there as an Eeyore. Wish you the best!

Ymichael14 - Based on your last post, you do have "the formula". Unless you're lucky, it can take a lot of time, especially as an older SM. If you keep at it long enough, as you say, you will eventually have some level of success.

No doubt, some geographical areas are better than others. The closer you are to NY, I suspect the more likely you are to see more clubs. RI also has clubs. Clubs tend to exist for the primary reason of making money and many see SMs as cash cows, so I do get the reluctance to attend clubs. In addition to paying an entrance fee, there are usually separate membership fees. While it does greatly increase your odds, none of that guarentees you any additional success.

I don't really feel the same pain, as none of this is quite so bad if you're a couple. I realize you're looking for more than just sex, otherwise I'd say you're better off just looking for a prostitute or playing the vanilla dating game.

I do still think that the vanilla dating game and being upfront about wanting someone to explore the LS with would be worth a shot. A number of the SFs we run across at parties are ones that either got out of a long sexless marriage, had a cancer scare, or lost a ton of weight and have new found confidence they want to take advantage of. Many of these would welcome an SM they can trust to help them explore. This is just another possible example of a LTR.

I do not understand why we have to keep having this debate.
Everyone here belives I am wrong and I am just too lazy or stupid to find a party or a club, they are all sick of me, I am just am asshole who does nothing but complains and doesn't want to work at this.
So why does everyone feel the need to keep telling me this?
Even people who have blocked me have to get in on the conversation.
I have met a couple on here. I had a threesome with them twice. They took me out to dinner. I have proven to myself that I can do this. I can fit in. I have what it takes.
I am going to find a way to meet more people, I am going to make friends with them they are going to introduce me to their friends I am going to get invited to their parties they are going to take me to clubs.
So everyone can stop trying to tell me I can't do it. I'm not stopping.
Yes, I know, I'm too old, too fat, too lazy, too boring, too ugly. But I am still going to do this.
Go fight with someone else.

Goodgolly- as for the ones which are within 150 miles, most are not. I do not know how SLS calculates distance, but they are way off on
some of these. Chicopee, MA is not 13 miles from me. The MA border is further than 13 miles. Florida is not 30 miles away.
Many others are as the crow flies and they are in long island and parts of NY and there is no direct access from CT. I have to go across CT, through NYC, over to long island then half way across long island. It can easily take 4 hours.
Everybody wants someone local

Goodgolly- is neverland the other one?
No new group members. Nothing posted in the group for 4 years and no restrictions on single males except they have to be approved. Other then that" everybody with a hole is welcome". And this is a house party? Does not sound legit to me.

Goodgolly- wicked fun club in terryville?
That is not a party , it is a club. There is no mention of price or rules, they just tell you to sign up and create a profile. They even encourage couples and single women to bring a single male friend because single males are welcome. Smells more like spam to me.
I will wait to see some reviews.