Question for the Xtra guys

I'm not sure, but I've been saying "stunt cock" since about 2003, so it's been around for awhile.

About once a year, I decide I really do want that piece of gluten free carrot cake. It's delicious in the moment and then I'm not only sick for a few days, the thought of cake, especially the icing, makes me queasy for months. It's only been two months, so eww. ;-)

"As part of a couple, we both look for singles and couples that we click with and who are interested in exploring mutual fantasies."

That works. It's also pretty rare among the couples who have contacted me here. FMF threesomes are pretty much my favorite thing, something I was reminded of recently, but I turn down most offers. Sometimes it's because I'm not attracted to one half, but it's usually because they don't understand the mutual fantasy part.

I want to have hot sex with interesting people, where the attraction is as mutual as everyone's aims. Fantasy fulfillment can be part of that, for sure, but it's a three way thing.

Mostly though, I get couples who really should just hire an escort.

Thanks magjoy but I can't claim it as my own. I just can't remember who to give credit to. Lol

~Scamp

"Stunt cock" hahaha, I love that! If I ever use it, I'll be sure to give you credit. ;)

Having been in the LS as a single and part of a couple, my view is the same from both sides. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

As a SM, I passed on couples looking for a stunt cock while enjoying great times with couples and SFs I connected with.

As part of a couple, we both look for singles and couples that we click with and who are interested in exploring mutual fantasies.

FWIW, I don't put "icing on the cake" in the same category as bedroom accessory, but the again, I really like icing.

~Scamp

My simple statement was that single people deserve the same level of respect as couples. So many posts guiding single men (a few for women) on how to be successful in the lifestyle.
"Know your place" "you're just an addition to their bedroom fun, sometimes outside if you get along". Like you guys aren't an addition to our's?
Us single people are held to a higher standard (explained in a different post by many others)
We go to a club, she has a question mark above her head, he's already got 2 marks against him and it takes us a lot longer to make connections where as couples get their hands held through the process with a blank slate. Guys get barked at. Females get introduced to select couples depending on their guide and who they favor at the club.
This isn't a woe is me single person vent, but rather couples who would like to bring single people into their bedroom fun would get better results if they treated us with human respect that they would couples.
There are plenty of single men who reach out treating people as meat. Sf get this from couples as well. A married man next to an equal single man? I'll go single every time and every time the sex has been much better.

I concur.

Where there’s love, you can skip the glove, but where there’s lust, wrap the cob in the husk... or something like that...

I’ll be back after I have more coffee or a stay at a Holiday Inn Express...

BT

Good thread and great comments. I would add that I find nothing unusual about a partner playing bareback while the "guest" is expected to play with a condom. It's no different in our couples play.

"Icing on the cake" "a guest" "bedroom accessory"

I get the thinking behind viewing playmates this way, but those who do increase their chances of getting the lackluster, noncommittal sex it deserves.

There is a huge difference between being able to maintain good boundaries while being all in sexually and viewing others as bedroom accessories. And one difference is that sex is far more likely to be amazing in the former case and more like a fairly humdrum masturbation session in the latter.

Well that's all good but too many single guys treat others including me like a piece of meat...and couples do have to go home and discuss their feelings about what happened that evening...That's why I prefer couples...Mary Jo

magjoy but as a single you are in fact a guest in the relationship. Heck even adding another couple means you are bringing guests into your relationship. All being a guest means is that person(s) is not part of the committed relationship the couple is in be they married or otherwise . As a guest means you do share the everyday mundane things in life, pay bills, are there when the other is sick, and a host of other not so fun things. As a guest you are there only to join in for fun whether that is strictly in bed or a night out not be an additional partner in the relationship (we are not talking a poly relationship). There will always be different rules in and out of the bedroom for a guest than the person you share your life with everyday. That does not mean you do not treat someone as a person or ignore their sexual needs as long as they play within your rules and you theirs. For many that means the couple has sex however they choose but with others the require condoms. There are many other things that couples will do with each other they will not do with others. The problem arises when the guest(s) do not accept that and want to push the rule boundary because the rules are not the same for the partner in the couple.

MAGJOY

THANK YOU!

"Icing on the cake" "a guest" "bedroom accessory"
Single swingers, even the men, deserve equal respect. We provide a way for you couples to realize your own fantasies. There is a reason you chose this person. We (both genders!) Put in much more effort and expense than couples. At the end of the day the couples get a lot more out of the experience, and pleasure, out of the night. Then we go home alone. We walk on egg shells and are expected to follow your rules.

So please, show more respect for your "bedroom accessory" your "icing on the cake" We're humans with needs and desires just as much as you couples and deserve equal respect. We deserve to be treated as humans, not objects. Not compared to food.

Having been the third, it’s always important to remember that you are there for fantasy fulfillment-and it’s always best to follow the rules of the couples, as you are a guest in their sex life.

I’m vas-safe, but I would understand in insistence of using a condom to protect from STIs-it just seems safe and responsible. I’ve never gotten oral with a condom, it if that was the stipulation I would wrap it up for sure.

Never forget, you’re only icing on the cake.

ive been the 3rd and also invited a 3rd into bed with us. never been an issue with this on either end.

eroticamazon

that scenerio may very well have not been for fear of transmitted disease, but pregnancy..

Since my vasectomy, my wife quit taking the pill..
I would not worry about STD with any of our regular friends, but pregnancy would be a real bummer

Not an Xtra guy but the husband in the situation. Never once have we had a guy that had an issue with wearing a condom because I did not have to wear one. We have had a few that had an issue wearing a condom or rather keeping hard when putting one on though. Out of those only two have ever "pushed" the issue and tried to talk us into letting him go bareback and they were shut down and we left. That is not to say there was not a lot of BS "This never happens" talk.

I think it is important for the guys who get invited to join a couple to understand they are a "guest" as it were even if they become a regular. There will be rules they have to follow that a husband or even boyfriend may not. Aside from the condom rule I know of all sorts of rules people have that just pertain to the Xtra be they male or female.

I see no problem at all with people who request condom use. I have had a woman ask me to put on a condom just to give me a blow job, while she was getting fucked bareback by her boyfriend,

With all the crap going around anymore, I am more often proactive when it comes to condom use.

The big AIDS scare in the 80's and 90's left a deep impression on anyone who was playing at that time.

I'd say Traveler's nailed it.

If you are asked to be a third, ask what the ruleset is. If you are ok with it, continue, if not, don't. Pretty simple :)

On a weird tangent . . . we often host parties. These parties, pretty much everyone plays bareback. One couple showed up after we told them the expectations and the playstyle. So there was no blindsiding them with anything. So the party starts. The husband of the couple is quick to the draw and finds a woman and starts fucking her bareback. His wife is still socializing. His wife was pursued by the husband of the wife her husband was fucking. They get on the same bed. So now it is basically a couple swapping with another couple. The guy, who was going after the woman from the first couple gets ready to fuck her. She demands that he put on a condom. The guy is a foot away from his wife being pounded by her husband without a condom. He looks over and then looks at the woman and says, "Uhh.... do you see what is happening there?" She still demanded it. We have never invited them back.

My point is that there will be people that have very weird rulesets. Some that will just make your head scratch. If you know beforehand, you can choose to participate or not. I'd never try and convert them though.

Good luck.

Fucking a creamed pussy, even with a condom on is really hot, and slippery. Not shit it's the best lube ever.

Even better if she wants DPV after her man recovers.

What hot luvrs said.

On the rare occasion that the hubby came first going bareback, the wife cleaned up before having me fuck her.

After the Husband cums?? That's when the real juicy fun begins...

I have been the extra M in a hotwife MFM several times. I doubt that most single guys would have any issues with most of the more common rules and scenarios. Any “extra” guy should be comfortable and proficient with condom. Going in for sloppy seconds would not be a problem, but in my experience most husbands wait until the guest cock is finished before ejaculating, themselves.

I don't think there is a "proper" or "usual". Be clear in your profile essays and/or in your email comms with potential single guys on what you DO LIKE and what your rules are for NOT DOING. If he likes doing what you two like and is OK with your rules, all is good. Your likes/dislikes will match some guys and not match others, just as you personally will match/not match some of them. That's OK.