"If he can host at his own home is another way to find out if he is single. If you ask pretty much any single males will be happy to host. I always offer to host since the first contact and of course I'm willing to go to them."
I don't even have friends and family come over to my house anymore. The place is a mess, and I have a 10-year-old. It's not conducive to any kind of play time.
"women want emotional fun and sex sometimes without attachment but this is a huge generalization ofcourse"
I'm glad you added the part about it being a generalization, because I was about to say "Oh no! today I discovered I am a woman!"
Emotional, fun and sex sometimes is exactly what I'm looking for.
The way I see it ,married men and women playing alone is fine as long as honesty and all parties know. Men and women cheat for different reasons. Men want meaningles sex and women want emotional fun and sex sometimes without attachment but this is a huge generalization ofcourse .
I won't play with married men at all or woman alone as I said prior unless hubby meets me it's sexy for me to know he trust me, as my wife would do . My entire reason to play alone is every woman or couple is different and that makes it a blast learning what makes everyone happy and who they are as people ,and she's not interested In joining .
If he can host at his own home is another way to find out if he is single. If you ask pretty much any single males will be happy to host. I always offer to host since the first contact and of course I'm willing to go to them.
We also feel the same way about married women playing alone on a hall pass as we do about married men.
The only way we’ll do that is with people we’ve met & played with previously……people we know. C has done this with the male half of a couple we know that was in town alone for a quick meeting. That was hot.
But we have no interest in even the slightest possibility of drama or being involved in a potential marital issue.
We don't actively look for singles, men or women, but our thoughts about married or not would be the same for both.
@fifty won't play with a married woman either. There's hardly any women on here anyway, but there's a lot of men. But for us it goes both ways.
I'm you, feel that way about married men look for fun. I'm a married man looking for sex just sex .to go through another D is every cost effective
No down low for me
Weird how married couples will play with a married woman but not with a man. It goes both ways. Both can claim a hall pass but really.
@marriednlookin4, you and I are both in the same boat. But we're also in a very small minority. Most married guys playing solo are doing so on the down low, not getting tested, and are highly likely to collect pix and flake out at the last minute.
am married but my wife 100% knows everyone and everything . We have had the ability to play with others for 17 years . She has veto power if she decides to play the card for whatever reason. I tend to gravitate towards couples and play as a single male and it's a challenge as many assume I'm cheating ,However she's met a few couples at dinner with me first or called on the phone to approve . G
Married people cheating without their partner’s consent is a total turn off for us. So much so, that we won’t even entertain the idea of meeting with a spouse who claims to have a “hall pass”.
First, we don’t want any part of the drama that can come from it, Acton & Kathy have pointed out.
Second, playing with a married couple that are so in love, so trusting, and excited to share themselves sexually with us is a huge turn on. Watching and hearing how we are enjoying our new partners is a thrill that always excites. Even if we’re in separate rooms, knowing we’re sharing an experience with another couple and that we’ll tell each other the details later is exciting.
Neither of us want to be playing with a single wondering if they are cheating on their partner. Even if you voice verify, how do you know everything is honest & legitimate?
Oh yes.. and we have had both in the old days when we thought like him.
Neighbors and coworkers asked what is going on!
Pcbguy I don't think it's any difference than a preference. It's a classification or category that we choose to steer clear of. Also as Ron said, people can do some crazy shit when they find out information like this. I don't need a crazed jealous wife or husband knocking on my door. It could impact anything from our careers to our life and that isn't something we're interested in even chancing.
I just don’t want my name showing up in someone’s divorce filings.
There’s a lot of cheating in the Lifestyle. That doesn’t make it right.
We have seen same and also have friends who do same.. the problem is this ... it is "not swinging", its cheating. They need to work on their marriage together, get in or out and this includes professional help.. and YES I have been on both sides including 30 years of domestic issues dealing in person with all sorts of couples., singles etc. It only leads to bad things including one being killed even some taking out the innocent kids.. ask me how many domestic related homicides I worked in south Florida.. and you may be surprised.
I have good friends male and female who do same and asked them why they dont get into swinging and the excuses they give are all over the map.. sorry its still cheating and told them so and they agree.
Swinging is an open line of communication and both parties are aware of ones sexual requests, be it hotwife, 3sums, 4sums, cuckholding, etc... according to those who are professionals: What Is a Swinger Lifestyle? “Sometimes that includes other couples, other times it may involve other singles, but usually it's focused on the committed partners having a shared erotic experience of some sort,” adds Dr. Kate Balestrieri, licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and certified sex addiction therapist. This could range from foreplay and oral sex to an entire evening of unadulterated penetration.
Just saying, I have been with a number of married women where their husband was not aware. In the lifestyle there are all kinds, women, men “cheating” or, just trying to enjoy. The folks who get to me are those with hard lines in the sand without understanding each situation. Yes, drama exists, but usually not where you expect!
I tell guys I don't want to be anyone's "back door man" unless you mean a top.
Great list Fraun and thanks everyone for your input! We aren't interested in getting caught up in someone else's transgressions. We also have had the bad karma conversation and that's not something we want to chance.
"We are finding that there are a large number of men on here that are married and their spouse is unaware. We appreciate when they're honest about it, but we've decided that we have no interest in being part of that situation for a number of reasons."
Admitting they're cheating may be commendable, but it may be the last thing they're truthful about.
"It's amazing how many men will readily admit to being married and playing without their wife's knowledge"
I always figure "liars are gonna lie." If they'll lie to the wife, are they going to lie to me too? Probably a good bet.
"Married and creepin' signs..."
All of these are good red flags to look for. I had a guy tell me he and his wife still lived together, but they were separated, and only stayed together because she was an invalid and needed to stay on his insurance. Turned out she had no idea he was having sex with guys, and she was in good health. He was just a liar.
I will say that switching to other chat/video chat apps isn't necessarily a red flag when you consider how backward the messaging feature is on SLS.
It's amazing how many men will readily admit to being married and playing without their wife's knowledge - I ask about marital status within the first few messages exchanged. I assure them that their marital status is not a deal breaker but that we prefer to make an informed decision about playing with married men. How they answer that question and how many red flags have been raised are both things that we consider before agreeing to meet and/or play.
Married and creepin' signs...
-Can only play during the day.
-Can only play one weekend in 10 (when wifey is out of town).
-Cannot host. -
Cannot pay for a drink, meal, hotel room.
-Will not give you his phone number.
-Insists on kik, telegram, whatsapp, or similar for communications.
-Says he has hall pass but won't make wife available to verify.
-Will not meet in his area.
-Sets up meet but flakes at last minute.
-Gives false name.
