Lifestyle Philosophy and Practice

Very much like golf for us. Just for fun/sport

• Do you derive any emotional fulfillment from swinger relations? -If you did not have lifestyle friends with benefits would that degrade, improve, or provide no change to your life together? *

I think this one would fall into the no change category. Our main group of friends do not partake in this hobby. They are aware we do. I would consider our friendships with our core group is similar to what most most swingers describe when they say they they found their tribe/people/community. We already had that with our friends...we basically do everything with them except have sex...we can talk about anything and all of our children consider the adults as aunts/uncles and address them as such.

• Does adding a third or fourth enhance your core or primary relationship (marriage, significant other, long-term boy/girlfriend) or is it just a hobby like golf? *

I think it's both for us. We have enhanced our relationship by engaging in this thing we consider a hobby. I also believe that we enhance our relationship when we do other hobbies together as well.

"Do you derive any emotional fulfillment from swinger relations? -If you did not have lifestyle friends with benefits would that degrade, improve, or provide no change to your life together?"

Yeah, that's different. My answer here is that lifestyle activities, including relationships of various depths that stop short of an actual conventional relationship, are one of the linchpins of my emotional life.

I have high touch needs and if those are fulfilled, I'm almost entirely content and happy no matter what else is going on. Add in variety and the "almost" gets removed. My partner is very similar, even though this isn't the language he would use.

People who aren't swingers aren't as touch centered, so even though there are other regular activities that feed my need for touch it takes more effort and isn't as satisfying as meeting other swingers, which enhances my relationship. Which is the answer to your main question too. ;)

RonKathy and all: We like your dynamic a lot and have had great couples and singles experiences. We emulate you Ronkathy. I guess I was not clear enough in my post. So, brain trust, please answer these questions if you dare - about your ideas or thoughts on this or how you express swingerdom in your life.

Main question - Does adding a third or fourth enhance your core or primary relationship (marriage, significant other, long-term boy/girlfriend) or is it just a hobby like golf?

Sub questions -
-Do you derive any emotional fulfillment from swinger relations?
-If you did not have lifestyle friends with benefits would that degrade, improve, or provide no change to your life together?

Our answer - Yes FWBs and erotic friendships seem a very natural and an extremely positive erotic and mental boon to us both. We enjoy it from many angles. We aren't seeking polyamory, but we'd be very happy to find a very regular guy friend(s) again. We recently moved so really miss having the third dynamic.

I like and even love any number of people, including a few I have or have had sex with, but don't easily develop strong feelings for anyone. While we're more than willing to have ongoing interactions, I don't want and he isn't drawn to any emotional bonds tighter than affection and respect.

No time for a real relationship tbh but the occasional romp works for us.

Happy new year guys !

So for "us" we had 2 long term relationships, one for 20 years in Florida one for 7 years in Georgia. It was NOT a live in situation however at times it seemed so , as they would spend day and night at our place, travel, dinners, dancing.. and everything in between with great sex!

We believe that what we have is very special, the right chemistry, going through life's trials and tribulations that only a close wife or husband have intimate knowledge of, etc etc . We have cried together and laughed together. We have been the strength in ones life when was feeling down or something tragic has happened, such as a tragic accident, death of a loved one.. you get what we are talking about.

Now for us even vanilla friends seem to take some work.. because of what they turn out to be.. well sorry just not for us. Those who live there life on FB, Drama at every turn, always something negative in there lives. Always doom and gloom.

Are you saying you want one to come live with you? Whew that's a handful.. not to sure about that one. Even though it sounds like fun... for us a weekend or a 2 week vacation is long enough.. we just like to hang out with our workout clothes, not made up, .. you know what we mean.

If you are saying just a long term FWB that is over weekly or monthly, ready to play, go on dates, dinner, dancing, have fun, laugh and great sex.. THEN HELL YES! Go for it.

Make the adventure what you 2 want and enjoy.. that is all that is important!

We really want the opinion of the swinger brain trust on this. Don't hold back! (As if y'all would hold back)

Lately we've been discussing the lifestyle having been in it for half of our marriage, but maybe even more as we played around when we dated each other and other folks.

We see adding a third or a fourth to our erotic and emotional lives as being a HUGE boon to a married relationship. Providing an additional erotic and playful outlet means variety but also expanded friendships. We work hard to be friends with lifestyle partners as well as play buddies.

To us, it seems that strong relationships benefit from including new sexual and emotional partners. Great wives deserve extra cock in their lives and great husbands demonstrably benefit from new and innovative women. We wonder how much better many marriages would be if they welcomed guest stars into them?

What do you think about this?