RonKathy, you hit the nail on the head for us. In the scene since the early 1970's...casually. No internet. Got inducted into a classy NYC group. Networked thru them and private friends. when we moved. 10 years ago. We had to use SLS. Yup..a lot of non-swingers. We were never in the 'insta-screw' league and have actually been called fakes in chat. Yup...crude..rude folks out there. Wife just doesn't want to be bothered anymore. Call us spoiled. lol
Of course others understand the concept. But it's not like when you're a kid and someone becomes your best friend on the first day of school. In adulthood, friendship is a much slower process, with an extra layer of difficulty when you add sex.
Speaking from personal experience, sometime around year two of fucking someone, we realize we're friends and instead of an occasional meet and greet we attend at the same time, we start having dinner together and hanging out. But that's one couple and/or single out of however many people I've had sex wit in that same time period, which is a larger number. As in, it's not inevitable and some interactions, no matter how much we might like each other, never develop into non-sexual friendships.
We understand the concept. Not everyone is looking for the same thing. We are not looking for that, but it still could happen and we mention that in our profile.
We also had the hopes of meeting that special couple or guy that we could have that close relationship with. Not finding it either. As you have already pointed out most seem to be just on here for kicks and very rarely even hook up. Have we had some fun? Yep just look at our Certs. I would say the past year we have had more success meeting like minded people at a swinger club we go to frequently. Also have attended a couple of private parties too. Keep trying.
Sounds like you started your LS journey with some pre-conceived ideas about what other couples are looking for. I mean no offense, but it's rather like many other things in life, where it's best if one looks at the world the way it IS rather than the way you would like it to be.
The other thing is that those FWB couples are definitely out there, even if you're not seeing them. They may not have FWB as their primary goal, but may be willing to consider it if they meet a couple who might fit the bill for them. Stay positive, and patient. Also, from what you describe, it sounds to me like you're getting close to a polyamory situation, so that may be an area to explore as well.
Best of luck to you.
Welcome.. so we have been active swingers well over 30 years, mainly in south Florida area. We call that area a swinger's playground. We had long term FWB who we went out with, partied with and traveled with . well over 20 years.
Fast forward to where we are at in Georgia, ( Fl west coast outside of Tampa our second home) we have seen a big change to the swinging lifestyle. Before coming to Georgia, we were never.. ever on a swing site with our very high-profile jobs.. We have noticed over half the couples on SLS and singles we meet are just voyeurs, BS artists, picture collectors and what we consider not real swingers. Couples and singles have lied about being married or the spouse knowing what they are doing..
It almost seems SLS , especially since CL sex side closed down are filled with these people.
Lets also be honest.. the world has changed, people are more rude, have no communication skills, flirting skills, and want a quick fix of sex.. dont get us wrong sometimes we to while traveling want a quick no string attached sex partner or partners.. but it just seems people just dont get what we want either.. so dont feel alone..!
Now once you find a good couple or single they are fantastic and we thank them! Try some [parties and clubs and see how that goes.. because its a great lifestyle and keeps us young in what we do!
