FMF: Why so hard to arrange?

We deleted as BOBBYUSA took the whole discussion off track. Appreciate the input up until that point.

Thanks

I agree with 888 that the male half of couples almost always handles most communication. I, Kira, was the one to do most vetting when we first started, since I enjoy that, until we realized how lopsided it was, and how often the female was totally unaware. In summary, the only real way of knowing who’s chatting with you is to simply meet in person. I’m so glad to hear that you met a great group, because I can’t imagine how tough it can be for a single woman!

One of the reasons I fell so hard for the Mrs. She was the perfect description of a unicorn, and had no idea she was. Never labeled herself that, and had none of the haughtiness that comes so often from being in high demand. I never thought I would ever be married again, but she had me hooked from minute one.

It's not just on this site. Think of it this way, perhaps: Couples are couples, single men are single men, and single women are...unicorns? There's an embrace of a particular kind of specialness that is conferred only by being in demand because you're part of a smaller group than the others.

I've been doing this a long time and it's always been kind of axiomatic that self-described unicorns have bigger issues than single bi females who don't use that descriptor. Is it true? Who knows, since confirmation bias is a thing.

888 I don’t understand what is the difference between a single bifemale and a unicorn. I thought that’s what a unicorn was.

" I also find the wives seldom do the communicating and when we do end up on a group text it’s because I’ve requested it. Any thoughts to why that is?"

IMHO, A high percentage, probably as high as 90 percent of interaction on an adult site is the male half. Without getting into the male physiological aspects, a high percentage of those cannot be trusted "out of view" of their spouse, especially in the event of other female interaction; possibly guys love the attention it brings.

To take it a step further, we as a couple, always sign who is communicating in emails, but one problem with other couples we find, they sign both names with the female first, which is a better door opener; then come to find out, it's the guy communicating. As a male, IMHO that is dishonest and deceptive, so interest is tapered off immediately. It does happen often, twice this week; then they cannot understand our "meh" stance.

As a couple, we don't actively seek out "Unicorns", yet we do welcome single bi-females. They usually contact us first and very seldom the other way around. If through IM and (vetting) things go well for the first few minutes, I will let her know Mrs. 888 will be updated and contact back, then let Mrs. 888 do the additional vetting. When Mrs. 888 gets an IM, she lets me know, so it's kind of the other way around then, or I will tell her to total vet if I cannot foresee any available free time. When it's email initiated, we both read and discuss things and she replies. We've had no good experiences with the self-proclaimed "Unicorns"; there's always the dealing with attachment, narcissism and ill intentions or other type of batshit craziness. We have had GREAT luck with several single bi-females who enjoy endearing friendship, which have included but not limited to brunches, texting, voice communications, shopping, baking, online gaming and, of course, private adult interaction.

~Allen

I’m two months new, and one would think being a unicorn would be easy. I suppose it is, in the since that less number of people have to be attracted to one another. It does means I have to do all the communication alone though. It’s very time consuming to weed out the fake & dishonest people. I also find the wives seldom do the communicating and when we do end up on a group text it’s because I’ve requested it. Any thoughts to why that is? I am very very lucky that my first (well only) couple are awesome and they have really taken care of me. They invited me to a house party where the host and everyone there were wonderful and then they were at my first hotel party and introduced me to their friends. Hunter you’re right, I can see myself definitely “sticking with a group” because the search is getting exhausting and part of the appeal of the lifestyle for me was to be able to have sex without all the work of a FT relationship.

A girl who likes a girl like me is even more rare than a Unicorn...I understand I guess..I like tall, well endowed, blonde ladies who wear glasses with long legs who dress in sexy outfits, Since I couldn't find one I became one, LOL......

I don't envy any couple trying to find a unicorn, let alone another couple that they both find an attractive. I don't think anyone really has it too easy. I've met one unicorn and she said it's hard finding someone that she's attracted to also, physically and mentally. I've also noticed at clubs, there is usually a unicorn or two that is established within a group. I think they feel safer in that environment. Which is sad in a way I suppose. When I was on legitimate dating sites, not hook up dot com or whatever, I met and played with way more girls than I ever have here. (Is playing the right word for a dating site?) Which goes to show we all love and want sex, but there is just a huge barrier against being open with it.

PAGent: you are too kind. ;) Same to you my friend.

April- I have several kinds of sugar here- variety is the spice of life! ;) Seriously, send me the bird and we’ll meet for coffee! :)
~Kira

Not offended at all Bobby and there is reason for an apology . If more sm approached the lifestlye as you do then it would be much easier for you guys happy hunting Ps we have a single female we play with often and one wife who plays with both of us but enjoys her girl time way more. ;)

Good welcome April hope u have fun here with all of us. :)

Intoiit sorrrrrrrry if sounds bed. Don't mean to offend no one here. Just have some experience and can't agree with everyone here. Maybe not in your case and one more time sorry m friends if you feel uncomfortable becouse me. Hope you find single girls and enjoy in your type of fun.

Thanks PAGentlemaninAZ, and 888 I’ll have to see if I’m passing by your town on my way to a conference ;)

We have a whole extra bag of sugar, just sayin’.

~Allen

Thanks LukeandKira, my first time in the forums. Yes we are neighbors too! I may need to come borrow a cup of sugar ;)

Bobby usally your post are fun to read but your rant against couples is typical sm rant . I can't speak to any other couples choice but my wife and I are in this together and we have talked in legnth of desires We have discussed all scenarios and she is not comfortable with Mfm maybe her appetite will Change but until then we will continue with what she and I are comfortable with. That being said you shouldn't be upset because not everyone likes your flavor of ice cream

Welcome to the forums April73! And so nice to see we’re from the same area! ;)

Sorry you are so far away, I would be your unicorn ;)

U all friends want FWB but nobody want single guys. If you change politics u got a nice friends. Like now sounds more selfish. I can't believe yours ladies don't want to have good looking guys. I can't believe. Like usual male (like alfa male) make decisions. You be mad on me but i have experience and know... not in all cases but in 80 percent. Thanks and good luck with female friend.....

We checked out your profile and definitely do NOT think it's you; in fact, the two of you sound a LOT like us! We are seeking a single Bi-Female as well, but seeing as how sex isn't our main objective (friendship is) we seem to be in the minority here. It may sound cliche' but we are truly looking for "friends with benefits", the problem is most people want the benefits WITHOUT the friendship. We always treat people the way we like to be treated; unfortunately our courtesy and respect are OFTEN mistaken for apathy or indifference, ESPECIALLY in this environment. We realize that may not be the accepted way of doing things "in the lifestyle" but we can't help if that's just the way we're wired.

The lifestyle is very "female-centric" and it's easy to see why women (especially single women) have their pick of virtually anyone in the lifestyle. But Meet-n-Greets are always a good opportunity to meet other like-minded couples. It's just extremely rare that single women attend such functions.

Realistically, we've resigned ourselves to the fact that if something ever does happen, it will be some random fortuitous encounter with someone like a waitress, hairdresser, or the lady that helps the wife try on shoes. You just have to be ready when the opportunity presents itself.

What they said... and one thing that you may have problems with is that you are an fwb couple. Some don't care to play with them because of one issue or another. Short synopsis on your profile: it is long and repetititititive. You all do have some good pictures. Try and add a few with both of you together to help communicate that you are a couple. We have connected with unicorns but never from an online interaction. As suggested, hit some parties and clubs where you can meet people face to face. Good luck.

It's partly you, partly the dearth of solo women relative to the ocean of people looking for them, partly that you're likely looking in the wrong places.

Go to a club that allows single men, preferably on a night where the club doesn't gender balance and single women get free or greatly reduced fees for admission. It would be a rare night where you couldn't find a number of women there alone and with other options for after, likely one would be amenable to an fmf with you.

“I can’t see your profile, but just from the profile pic I can assure you, it’s not you.”

Hunter: Dood, she’s a hottie with the cutest smile.

OP: If your looking for a FMF, we will gladly give you one. We will pick her up from IAD or BWI and return her safely.

:-P

Or do what NYNJ recommended.

:-)

~Allen

Find couple and have regular sex that's the best way to get bi girl....